I Don’t Live Here Anymore.

Posted on July 17, 2008 by elizabeth

Someone else owns my house. The pictures are down, the bookshelves empty. The rooms have a strange echo, the sound of emptiness. I have whittled my life down to a few suitcases. Just the necessities while we live in limbo–caught between this old house and our new one.

I run my fingers along the banister where each Christmas I wrapped twinkling garlands. It’s empty, now. I pause in my children’s rooms and remember quiet afternoon naps, wild wrestling on the floor, prayers and tears, laughter and make-believe. Who keeps the record of passing years? Who will remember what happened between these walls?

There’s a certain melancholy to an empty home. I could wax nostalgic, but then I remember the reason I’m leaving this place behind. Life is pushing me out. We are growing, expanding, thriving, and life is pushing us out into new places.

I don’t have to sigh over years past. I can smile at the future. God has bestowed my hands with meaningful, honest work. The years of sowing into my children’s souls are yet ahead, beckoning me. Life is pushing me out.

One day my body will grow old, weary. One day I will leave behind this fleshly house. One day, Life will push me out of my body and I will fly Home to Jesus. One day they will come looking for me, but I won’t live here anymore. Life will have pushed me out.

On Saturday I walk out of this house for the last time. I will close the door and let the sunshine fall on my face.

I don’t live here anymore. Life has pushed me out.

This entry was posted in Faith. Bookmark the permalink.
  • http://www.withcontentment.blogspot.com Mel

    Very sweet post. A very refreshing perspective! :O)

  • http://www.heidijowhatdoyouknow.blogspot.com Heidi Jo

    i teared up, really, having been in that postion not too long ago. there is no better reason to move on than life pushing you out. but it is still difficult sometimes. still a bit sad.

    your analogy to our final move into eternal life was beautiful.

  • michelle

    beautiful, beautiful, beautiful… and there is something so sad about leaving a home, especially a home that you brought babies home to.

  • michelle

    beautiful, beautiful, beautiful… and there is something so sad about leaving a home, especially a home that you brought babies home to.

  • http://www.sixblessings.blogspot.com Carmen

    Beautiful! We were in that stage recently, too. It’s sad but fun to step into a new stage in life. We will be praying for you and your move.

    Hugs,
    Carmen

  • http://mysupplications.blogspot.com Leanne Gilchrist

    I’m not sure if I would face moving out of this beloved house of almost 8 years so stoically or….beautifully as you are!

    But like you, I guess I could try….

    It was a really well written post.

    Thank you!!!!

    Leanne in Longview

  • Cathy

    Today, as I was driving, I was mulling over the whole notion of drilling for oil and the ensuing brouhaha that it has produced. I began to ruminate on what my husband, Gene (the stud), told my adult son in a discussion about the environment the other day. As believers, we are to be good citizens and handle everything that God has given us with care. However, it is not our job to try to save the earth–or to destroy it. It is our role to glorify God in all that we do. Having said that, I am light years away from telling my kids not to get too connected to things since it will all just burn up, anyway. While true, I learned to temper my speech and not dismiss their attachment to particular things. It is unfathomable that this earth will one day cease to exist and that in its place will be a new earth, but that is what the Bible teaches. Conversely, in moments of angst and uncertainty about the future and even about Heaven, I remind my kids (and myself) that if it is this good down here, then Heaven must be spectacular. After all, they were both created by the same Creator.

    Those thoughts and ideas were such an encouragement when my mom died at age 43 of breast cancer. Given the chance, she wouldn’t want to return to a sin-sick world. She’s more alive than ever for she has seen Jesus. The same can be said of my nephew who, seven years ago at age 20, entered the presence of Jesus and left a disease-ravaged body for a glorious future. That, and only that, comforts us.

    I love what Paul says in I Corinthians 15:20 when he resoundingly affirms that Christ DID rise from the dead–after stating that we are the most miserable human beings on the planet if the Resurrection is untrue. “But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead…” And, because of that majestic truth, as you wrote, Elizabeth, your final destiny is far better than the house into which you’re moving–after, of course, the gas leak is stemmed. In the interim, though, enjoy your new home, and I promise, I won’t tell you not to hold it too closely because it will just burn up one day.

    You already know that.

    “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, either shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’” Revelation 21:1-4