I'm writing this post because my beautiful, life-long friend, Barbara, is single. And what good is a blog if I can't close a matchmaking deal for my friend? Just call me EE Harmony.
"A deal breaker would be a guy who showed up with my name tattooed across his neck," she says.
So, clearly she's funny. This, in addition to her jaw-dropping intelligence, makes her a pretty hot catch if you ask me.
"And no surprise hiking honeymoons," she adds.
"I don't think anyone will mistake you for an outdoor girl," I say, as if her blue stiletto heels weren't a dead giveaway.
And we all laugh. Because we, her friends, know her very well. Just to be sure, we've given her an intense personality quiz complete with accurate scoring and outlined her strengths, weaknesses and needs.
This is serious business. Barbara has been saving herself for 32 years. We think she's waited long enough.
But Barbara hasn't been sitting around idly waiting for Prince Charming. She's a smart, educated woman working as an Arts Administrator.
"I'm really passionate about what I do and want someone who appreciates that," she says. "It's cool when I meet guys who love the fact that I'm smart and have a great job."
Also, he needs to be OK that she freaks out over yellow lights. Or at least, fake freaks out.
"Barbara likes to be in control of the windshield wipers," Hannah reminds us. "She turns them on and off herself no matter how torrential the rain."
"It's only because I don't like repetitive noises!" Barbara says. Well, that's true. This jives with her efficient, organized nature. Barbara's desk is always neat, tidy and she diligently cleans out her closets. She can tell you right where her copy of Dante's Inferno is on her bookshelf.
She is a wonderful pianist and especially enjoys playing Bach and the old hymns.
When traveling, Barbara maintains her efficiency by packing her entire makeup collection in one teensy bag. " I don't understand five shades of the color pink," she says. She's a low-maintenance, no-nonsense girl who is handy around the house and talks to herself in the 3rd person.
"OK, Barbara, time to get moving," she says to herself in the morning. It must work because by all accounts she's really good at what she does.
Although she's never made an official list, Barbara admits she's looking for:
1. A Christian man who is "not necessarily the clapper in worship" but whose faith is manifested more quietly through tithing, charitable giving and a keen social conscience.
2. He would think she's funny and enjoy her quirky habits like how she reads The New Yorker while brushing her teeth. He would also be able to make her belly-laugh unexpectedly.
3. He's a conscientious, self-disciplined gentleman who doesn't get impatient in checkout lines, puts others at ease, and holds the door for strangers.
4. He would understand and appreciate her need for space, for alone time.
5. He would equally enjoy attending a rock concert or the symphony.
Disclaimer: Barbara would like everyone to know this was not her idea and also, what she really wants is God's will. Reluctantly, she allowed herself to be interviewed. Even more reluctantly she allowed me to post pictures of her. So, be kind. Comments are open.
(Picture: Barbara on the left, Hannah on the right)