Hot Diggity Duggars!

Posted on October 28, 2008 by elizabeth

"17 Kids and Counting" is a reality TV show that broadcasts Monday evenings on TLC. It's the conservative, homeschooling, big-family answer to MTV's The Osbornes. Instead of the rebellious, unhappy, swearing, rock n' roll Osborne kids, the Duggar children are cheerfully obedient and gladly join in family sing-a-longs. It's astonishing, compelling and downright fascinating TV.

It's also lucrative.

With a family of their size, the product placement possibilities are endless. Laundry detergent! Antibacterial hand wash! Tater tots!

Holy cash cow, Batman!

On last night's show, Jim Bob (the dad) did a not-so-subtle product pitch for a bathroom cleaning detergent. Works great and doesn't scratch surfaces!

Note to producers: Jim Bob needs some coaching on looking natural.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the Duggars' show. They're debunking the postmodern myth that children are a burden, family life is tedious and women who choose this lifestyle do so for lack of options. Good for them! They deserve to make money from this valuable public service. I just wish it could be a little less obvious. And a little more honest.

Here's why: the Duggars are a unique product. They are controversial–which translates into higher ratings.  They are still growing and their first son is getting married—really high ratings.

And the kicker? The Duggars have a perfect life. At least, as far as I can see. It's what I can't see that troubles me.

Because while I enjoy watching the Duggars organize their household, do their chores, load up for trips–I often wonder: yeah, but where's their real life?

Where's the prodigal son who defies his father and runs away from home? Where's the daughter longing for a college education? Where are the children who meltdown in the grocery store? Where's the mother who admits that sometimes she feels like a failure?

Instead, we get a lot of Jim Bob telling everyone to "LOAD UP!" And everyone falls in line.

That saddens me. Because The Duggars, unlike The Osbornes, are representing Christianity. In some small way, they are selling the gospel. If Christians pretend to live perfect lives, we make a mockery of our faith. And worst of all, we proclaim to a hurting world our glaring lack of compassion.

"We're Christians! We're happy! Everything is great! PRAISE THE LORD AND LOAD UP!"

Perfection is a burden none of us were meant to bear.

Imagine how heavy it is for the Duggar children. Is the family testimony (and dollars?) at stake? Do the Duggars have a vested interest in making conservative, homeschooling families look good?  One might even say they are being paid not to fail.

The thing is, if the Duggars allowed their real life struggles to play out on TV (think Jon & Kate plus 8), they wouldn't lose their audience—they would gain a stronger following. Because there are deeply conservative families all across this nation who are struggling with real-life. Some are discouraged. Some have children who have fallen away from the faith. These families would like nothing more than to live the perfect Duggar life. 

See, I'm not suggesting the Duggars need to air their dirty laundry (maybe they really are perfect). In some ways it's unfair to impose my postmodern narrative on their clearly anti-postmodern lifestyle.

I'm just saying the Duggars are being paid to share their life. In fact, I may buy products they endorse. That is precisely why I think the Duggars have a responsbility to be more honest–for the sake of the gospel and for the sake of their children.

It's not difficult to let people see your frail humanity. But it does require humility.

The Duggars have the guts to be on TV. Do they have the guts to keep it real?

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  • http://monkswife.blogspot.com Michelle

    Okay, hmmmm….I’m not sure what to say here because I think for the first time EVER, I might disagree with you…just a little. :o )

    I stumbled across this show the other night (I’ve watched all the Duggar specials) and had no idea they had a “regular” show now. Honestly, I really don’t think they are putting on or being fake. I’m sure they have their issues and I have seen several episodes with a child throwing an ever lovin’ fit. But, where I disagree is that we “have” to or “need” to see all their issues. Don’t we see enough of that in every other reality show? Dysfunction sells and frankly, I’m sick of it.

    That is the precise reason I stopped watching Jon & Kate plus 8 (and I’m not saying they are dysfunctional – just not very nice). On several episodes they treated one another horribly. I was just floored by what came out of their mouths. My husband was too. We just don’t treat one another that way. In all fairness, I haven’t watched in a long time and maybe it’s different now, I just don’t know.

    Anyway, I kinda like the sappy, cheesy Duggars. Our family looks nothing like theirs, yet I find them rather refreshing. Except the whole marriage proposal episode. That one was even too cheesy for me.

    And once again, I’ve taken over the comment section. Sorry.

  • http://www.heidijowhatdoyouknow.blogspot.com Heidi Jo

    i think that your sentiments are very true, however, they are far from stupid. and i think that they realize that while they may run the risk of alienating some conservative viewers, they are at a much higher risk of being mocked, scorned, abhorred and downright villianized by the MAIN STREAM americans, if they show their weaknesses.

    while i love the show jon & kate plus 8, this is a far cry from 18 kids. and because jon & kate’s came in mulitples, basically two pregnancies, people are inspired, and awed. not the same for someone who willingly and knowingly gets pregnant 18 times.

    i think that they know that they are taking a risk. they know that they are perceived as odd, at best. if they show that they can not handle the pressures, there will be no sympathy from most. afterall, they choose this path.

    do you hear me?

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    I’m willing to accept that maybe their show is true portrayal of who they are. Not all families have drama or major failures. In this regard, I respect them greatly.

    And yes, I realize that what their family believes and stands for is positively hated by the MSM and the culture at large. It’s risky for them to let the cameras in because they open themselves up for criticism.

    I’m just saying, as a loyal viewer, if they’re going to do product placement–then I want real, honest conversation, too.

    I want to hear about the struggles and how hard it is to raise a big family.

    I really think they could do a better job at this than Jon & Kate. I don’t watch Jon & Kate that often because I dislike their poor treatment of each other. I especially dislike the way Kate belittles and mocks Jon. I know the Duggars would never do this and that’s why I’d love to see them be more honest.

    Am I being unfair?

  • Cathy

    That is why I don’t watch “reality” TV very much. I know who the Duggar family is because I’ve read about them. I’ve seen part of the Jon and Kate (I’m not even going to check if that’s the right title right now) show and to be honest, I didn’t watch again.

    I guess it’s partly due to the fact that my “reality” is far different than theirs. We have trouble making it to the end of the month financially. I wasn’t happy every time that I got pregnant. I didn’t want to be pregnant with my tenth at almost 40, but God knew, and I couldn’t be more pleased that He gave me these kids. HOWEVER, it isn’t without pain and hardship. There are days when I wanted them to call me “Aunt Cathy,” and not “Mom,” but they persisted in calling me the latter. My reality is just getting off the phone with my Los Angeles-based son (who graduated from Cal Berkeley) who can’t find a job. We are limited in our resources, but I know that God isn’t. My son knows that, too, but, today, when bills are looming, his hours have been cut and he can’t even find a low-paying job, it’s hard to “feel” that.

    We don’t have sponsors, but we know God. He can make us victors in spite of the difficulties. My kids all have a walk with God, love their siblings and us. That is the “reality” show that I’m living, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Cathy

    PS I banged this out in less than two minutes…I think just hearing the frustration in my son’s voice and then reading about families whose sponsors pay for many of their expenses, just hit a nerve. YIKES!

  • Laura

    I think you’re way off. The show is supposed to be a pleasant half hour look into the life of a big family, not a tell all show so everyone can feel better about their own lives. My life is far from perfect, but when I watch the Duggars, I’m challenged and I’m encouraged, but not jealous.

  • Whitney

    I don’t think you’re off at all! Thank you for saying this – my family and I have thought this for a LONG time. The Duggars make a HUGE deal of being financially independent and living the debt free life (which is fine), but nobody mentions how the show is paying for their lifestyle. They have a ridiculous house (complete with soda machine) that they would otherwise not have! It’s fine to live debt free, but it’s another to preach is as being godly while getting handouts from a television channel. Anyone who thinks they’re just “a nice family” with a “great life” is kinda naive (like politicians are just “nice people”). :-p

  • Laura

    Whitney:

    They became debt free before the TV show. Talk about sour grapes! Plus, thinking a family is nice and has a great life is much more biblical than baseless accusations and harsh judgments.

  • Cathy

    I’m chiming in again after reading Whitney’s comment. Her thoughts are mine, as well. I believe in debt-free living–until the next time I need to use a credit card–for an essential and not for a luxury. If you have the money to live debt-free, then praise God–and realize that it His doing and not merely your efforts. The best-laid plans often go awry, and I’m convinced that it is in those times that we realize that God is the one who blesses our efforts, and it is not due to our savvy and good planning. If you don’t believe it, I can give you example after example of people who planned well, prayed over their investments and still went down financially. Just ask people in your church next Sunday.

    Cathy

    PS Thanks, Elizabeth, for your email.

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    Laura: thank you for sharing your thoughts and welcome to my blog. This is your first comment, right?

    I always appreciate dissenting opinion.

    In fact, this is why I think Christians should be the ones asking questions. Asking questions is not judgmental, accusatory or jealousy driven.

    I’m asking honest questions because I have a big family and it is hard work! And also, like Cathy pointed out—not all families prosper, no matter how Godly they are.

    With all their talk of not watching TV, isn’t it interesting that television advertising dollars are contributing directly to their success?

    Their show is a business just like any other TV show. There is an audience and there are advertisers who are willing to pay to reach that audience.

    That’s great!

    It is, like you said, a “pleasant, half hour look into a big family.”

    But it’s also good business.

  • http://www.morningstarr.typepad.com dina

    I was just chatting with my sister about this family! Whether or not they have “normal” moments of imperfection, I think their calm manner and effective organization and full attention on their children is remarkable and one I am challenged to emulate. A word of defense about Jon and Kate…they are very forthright about their imperfections and negative attitudes but I still think they present a real example of what most peoples lives are like: stress, exhaustion, and pandemonium and yet, they still choose to place their family and each other at the forefront of their lives. Sure, their marriage isn’t perfect but maybe Jon and Kate at a Marriage Conference is “coming up on the next (or future) episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8!”

  • Laura

    Oh, I don’t think asking questions is judgmental…I was referring to Whitney’s comment and subsequently to Cathy’s amen.

    But anyways, while the Duggars may not watch TV, they do use cleaning products. So now they get paid to use them. Life is fun sometimes! Praise the Lord for that.

    It would seem ,though, that everyone is up in arms because it’s not them making out. It reminds me of this election: Me first. Not God, not country, not others. Rather, people’s kneejerk reaction to everything is “How does this affect me” or “How does this reflect on me”. Not everything is or should be about you. It should be about glorifying God, which I think for all that I can be seen, that the Lord would be quite pleased with this family’s attempt to do so. But I don’t think it pleases Him to cast doubt on His children’s motives when there is no doubt to be seen. Or to call their house ridiculous and accuse them of getting handouts. I hardly think trying to live your life in front of TV crews with 17 kids in tow is a cakewalk. They earn their keep in my estimation.

    I’ve watched their show and not once have I heard them “preaching” about living debt-free. They simply stated that they were convinced that this was right. I have found most people get a little grouchy and critical when they feel someone else is right, but they have no desire or will to agree in word or deed.

    I also think it’s quite a statement to assume the children bear a heavy load as if to imply that they are living a lie in front of the camera. I feel they are being unfairly criticized and you sparked something in people that isn’t going to come to any good by criticizing this nice family.

  • http://monkswife.blogspot.com Michelle

    Hey, capitalism is alive and well in America (at least until or depending on November 8th!) and the Duggars are taking every opportunity to take advantage. They were already debt free and making plans to build their “complex” waaaay before the t.v. opportunity came along.

    Frankly, I’m glad there’s a clean family show with good morals that I can let my children actually watch. I don’t begrudge their opportunity to make money for their family (whether they watch tv or not). They do, afterall, have 18 children with one on the way! :)

    Ask yourselves, if someone came to your family wanting to make it into a reality series, would you do it? Especially if it meant getting or keeping your family debt free. Personally, I don’t know if I would. Then the whole world would find out just HOW unorganized I really am. :)

  • Caroline

    Hmmm…I wish I had cable TV so I could watch this show. I do know who the Duggars are, though. I like to watch wholesome, uplifting stuff and this sounds like both. However, I am especially encouraged and uplifted when fellow believers share struggles that we all face—and that doesn’t have to mean anything sordid; it could just mean a parent losing patience or a child throwing a fit.

    I love your blog, Elizabeth, because you keep it real. Hugs.

  • Cathy

    Actually, Laura, your response hit before “amen” did. Right after I posted, I saw yours and said, “Gulp.” I don’t resent anyone’s opportunity to make money. More power to ‘em. I don’t know the Duggars. I’m not bitter or angry, Laura, really. I was merely pointing out that Christians who love Jesus still go bankrupt, have poor health and lose their jobs–despite good eating and good planning. If the Duggars go on TV to glorify God, then cool. I’m just sayin’ that we need to be careful not to make role models of anyone, especially those we only know through their public persona.

    Cathy

  • http://www.heidijowhatdoyouknow.blogspot.com Heidi Jo

    hey everyone, i like jon and kate. i do sometimes cringe when i hear kate belittle jon, but instead of feeling all self-righteous and turning off the television, i take a look in the mirror. i hear myself in her sometimes, and hearing it played out like that reminds me of how horrible it sounds.

  • Pat

    Liz! I don’t have time now for a long comment, but wow, you nailed it! So many good questions and analysis. We know a little about those “behind the scenes” realities. I appreciate your honesty. Keep writing.
    Pat

  • destry

    E, it is so funny that you brought this up today. I first heard of the Duggers a year or so ago…I saw their picture on a magazine in th airport.

    I didn’t think another thing about them until this past Sunday. We didn’t have evening service…so we turned the tv on for a rare afternoon of tv…and found the show about them.

    After watching, I googled them to find their website.

    First, to comment on the show…I thought it was interesting. Yes, I thought they were on the *perfect* side…but I’ll take “trying as best as possible to live a godly life” over “God? What God and why should I care if he approves of my lifestyle?” any day.

    Honestly, I felt some negative feelings while watching the show…and then, I realized that the things that made me feel the most defensive were things that I feel like I am coming up short with in my own family. For me, it was conviction. Conviction about my priorities and my disciplines.

    When I googled them, I found the most ngative, insulting, judgemental boards about them. Wow, people were HARSH! Good “christian” people passing horrible judgements. It was disgusting to me.

    We are in better financial shape than most of the people that we go to church with. (That is not meant braggingly, and I certainly don’t think we are better than anyone because of is. I know that everything we have is because of God and his blessing and provision). Because of this, we have been on the receiving end of scrutiny and judgement by some of our “brothers and sisters in the Lord”. Our clothing, cars, home, furnishings, vacations, dining habits, etc. are the subject of conversation for some reason. People make comments about how they would drive a car like ours but they don’t want that debt hanging over their heads. Comments like that are a minefield…because if we stated the truth…that our cars are paid for and we believe in living debt free…then that makes us even worse in their eyes.

    If in a sermon the preacher says something along the lines of “Jesus isn’t mpressed with your house our your cars” (which of course he isn’t, he is sitting on a throne in a mansion, his streets are paved with gold and he swims in the crystal sea, why would he care about a car???), certain people in the congregation make a BIG deal out of AAAAMMMMMEEEEEnnnnning.

    All of that to say…I am happy that people that “seem” nice are doing well, loving the Lord and setting an example in their home life that we are let in on, that inspires me to be a better parent, a kinder spouse and a brighter light.

    E, I love your thought provoking posts. You are my favorite.

  • http://restoringtheyears.blogspot.com Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years

    I saw the show last night too. Well, some of it. The first thing I noticed was Michelle’s new “do.” Yay! I also caught the product placement by Jim Bob.

    But…I was pleasantly surprised by what I considered a lot more candor than in previous years. I think they really are that kind and respectful, and now we get to see the parents working and hear a bit more of the children’s working out their self control and submission–because even they don’t always like everything they’re called to do. Christ shows in the doing it anyway.

    I think they must have read my letter back in May.

    http://restoringtheyears.blogspot.com/2008/05/dear-mrs-duggar.html

  • diane

    E: I’m wondering if this family dynamic reminds you of anything you might have experienced in your past church experience (i.e. a “perfect” church, “perfect” spiritual leaders)?

  • http://saracarmichael.blogspot.com Sara Carmichael

    I’m with Destry on this one regarding the Duggers (I am really refreshed by their wholesome program, shameless plugs or not) and with Heidi Jo on Jon and Kate Plus 8. It really gives me pause to look at my own reflection in the mirror because I know I’ve said the same things in the same tone before, and it sounds way more awful than I really intended. I think they’re real, which YOU are too, Elizabeth, and that’s why I love watching them (and reading your blog). :)

  • http://www.heidijowhatdoyouknow.blogspot.com Heidi Jo

    michele duggar got a new do? really?

  • http://www.goodforsomething-stilltrying.blogspot.com Frances, New Yorker in the OC

    Major props for posing your questions and challenges. We DO have a lot in common!

    Unfortunately, I have not seen the show, but I totally hear you about keeping it real with balance. I can’t watch reality shows because I often feel that the folks force uncomfortable situations for the sake of drama or more screen time. But I know I’d couldn’t watch a “perfect version” of real life and to that end, I really appreciated Cathy’s comments. Are these folks in a bubble and not affected by the economy? Click.

  • Rachel

    Ok…this is a single Christian gals perspective of the whole thing…not that it means much. I have not birthed one child. But I have watched both of the shows. All I know s that I am daily walking with the Lord, so rebuke me if I am wrong or naive in this post…
    Jon and Kate plus 8. I enjoy the show. Yes, I cringe when I hear Kate disrespect Jon and visa versa, but I have heard the same if not worse from godly couples with small children. Granted, not on national television, but the show also shows how much they love each other. These children are out of control and downright unruly at times, but I think that It is a realistic picture of the frustrations and tensions that can go on in a relationship. Not every woman can paste on a grin and cheerily bop throughout the day…from what I have seen, being a wife and a parent is hard work and brings out the best and worst in people…
    About the Duggars…E.E, I don’t think you are being unfair. I respect the mother immensely, but it all looks hokey, staged, and put on to me. My perception is that although they are devout, God loving, strong Christians…their “perfection” just doesn’t seem real. Christians do not have it all together, and I don’t think it should be portryed to the world that we need to be to follow Christ. They are a lovely family but completely irelevent to the culture that they want to reach. I don’t think they shoudl change the way they are as we all follow God in different ways…but I totally agree with you that we should see more of the real side…
    Come on…18 year old son and his fiancee need chaperones…give me a break!!!

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    I’m so glad all of you are contributing to this discussion. It’s really interesting for me to read all the different perspectives.

    I don’t describe the specifics of my past here on my blog. However, let’s just say I have first-hand experience with the disastrous consequences of so-called “perfect Christian families.”

    For this reason, when I watch the Duggars all kinds of red flags go shooting up in my mind. It’s clear they are sincere, honest Christians. I’m not calling into question the sincerity of their faith. I’m just challenging you to ask the hard questions.

    Some of you have emailed me with more troubling aspects of the Duggar’s lives and theology. This shows me that my questions barely scratch the surface of what is really going on “behind the scenes” of the Duggar lifestyle.

    As Christians, we should never be afraid of the truth. We ought to be the ones searching out the truth and asking the tough questions.

    It’s possible to do this without judgment or harsh criticism. That’s the kind of dialogue I encourage on my blog.

    Carry on!

  • Cathy

    E,

    (I actually wrote this comment this morning, but am not sending it until now.)

    I’ve been thinking about your post, and the ensuing comments. To summarize, one of the “dangers” that I see with watching shows like the ones mentioned, is assuming that is real life. We don’t know the behind-the-scenes picture, so, then, when one of our “heroes” messes up, we’re shocked and disappointed.

    It’s judgmental if you question people’s motives, not if you question the veracity of the way a “reality” show portrays life. BTW, I think if a camera was on me, I sure would try to put my best foot forward. And, don’t forget, producers egg on the participants for better TV.

    Who of the commenters haven’t questioned a celebrity when they’ve lost all their baby weight, and are almost invisible within a couple of days of giving birth? Who of us doesn’t think, “Yeah, well, good for them, but I’m sure I’d be able to do that if I had a personal trainer, chef and nanny?” We ALL are prone to those kinds of thoughts. Are they wrong? Perhaps it’s our jealous nature…not sure…but, on this one, I think remembering that real life is very different than the one that “reality” shows represent, is wise.

    Cathy

  • http://restoringtheyears.blogspot.com Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years

    Yes, Heidi Jo! A new do. Really! O.k., maybe a variation on the old do, but CLOSE ENOUGH!

    (Let it be noted that before she changed the mullet to whispy bangs, I never, ever said or wrote a word about her hair or dress because truly it doesn’t matter, but now that it’s done I must I’m glad. It gives anti-Christians one less obvious to despise.)

  • http://andi-horton.livejournal.com Andrea

    EE,

    I think you’ve struck on almost every point that I reflect on whenever I catch an episode of that show. Yes, it’s undeniably wonderful to see children being treasured and welcomed, and speaking as somebody who hopes to have a large family too, someday, it’s lovely to see how POSSIBLE it is! I particularly loved Michelle Duggar’s remark from a much earlier episode, the first one I ever watched, when she reflected that “saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers.”

    That said . . . honestly my first reaction is always that they remind me a bit of the Bobbsey Twins books. Did you ever read those? I read all of them when I was little, and then went back to read them again when I was researching for my thesis (it was on class, gender and race in Nancy Drew and other pre-war girls’ mystery series; I thought the Bobbsey Twins might be relevant).

    On returning to read those stories as an adult, I found that the children were every bit as adventurous as I remembered them to be, but . . . that was IT. All the conflicts and adventures the children faced were mysteries, school projects, runaway iceboats . . . very fun, but purely external. All conflict, in fact, was external, simply because there was no _internal_ conflict left to be had. The four children (ages six and twelve!) never displayed jealousy, selfishness, indolence, temper tantrums or anything else that you expect to pop up in kids from time to time. They were pretty darn perfect! So because these polished paragons of diminuitive personhood were already “complete” when it came to their emotional maturity, with no real personal growth left to achieve, they could only interact with their surrounding environment rather than deepening themselves from within (I had a similar complaint when reading the less well-known Happy Hollister stories too, actually).

    And I guess I can’t help but think that a very similar image is what the producers of the Duggars’ show have decided to present. The producers (and maybe also the Duggars themselves– I really don’t know, since I am not personally acquainted with anybody involved with the program) seem to be trying to create some ideal of a polished, perfect family that has many fun adventures which all end as happily as they began! It makes a fantastic show for the same little children who are of an age to read the Bobbsey Twins books, but by the time you have a certain amount of life experience, I think you are old enough to understand that human conflict and growth are a part of life. We’re none of us born fully formed, none of us complete on first entering the world, all of us needing to grow up and mature in multiple areas . . . and I do believe that it’s reading about, watching and hearing of people who are also striving to work toward that same maturity that makes a story really worth following.

    (you mentioned already having been e-mailed about some of the behind-the-scenes stuff so I won’t bother doing that as well, lol!)

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    OK, people, I think Andrea should have written my post for me.

    Andrea, that was brilliant!

    And this is why I’m really hoping Duggar fans ask the probing questions because remember, all reality TV is cut, edited and spliced. There is a storyline and a message.

    Sometimes I feel like the storyline and the message are being carefully managed.

    And yes, my blog is a cut, edited and spliced version of my life. But I think it’s an honest portrayal–I share my ups and downs.

    Also I have enough people in my real life who read my blog who keep me honest.

    And also, I’m not being PAID!
    :-D

  • http://flourishingmother.blogspot.com Andrea

    For a minute I agreed with you.
    But…
    The Duggars ARE refreshing, though not without their problems.
    Most of the families on reality tv ARE extremely flawed (or at least portrayed that way) That gets ratings.
    Perhaps the Duggars are portrayed as EXTREMELY perfect, and that is what is hitting a nerve with you. (which I totally understand.)
    But. I think this show is needed, extremist as it is, out there in “reality world” to give a better balance to “real” family life. And to inspire and encourage.

  • http://andi-horton.livejournal.com Andrea

    http://health.discovery.com/tv/duggars/duggars.html

    There’s a link on this site that lets you watch a short video of a few bloopers from recording voice overs for the show– you can see some of their personalities coming through a little more, there. It’s all still fairly surface, nothing major, but I still found it refreshing :)

  • http://andi-horton.livejournal.com Andrea

    (I am not all the Andreas here … I just realised there seem to be at least two of us)

  • Laura

    You are getting “behind the scenes” emails? In other words, gossip. This is typical of women, but unbecoming of Christians.

    In regard to this TV show, I think we have a similar situation if we look at the Proverbs 31 woman. Since we KNOW no one is perfect, I think it’s safe to assume she sinned, had bad days, etc. But the Lord made us wise enough to know that. It doesn’t need to be said. He doesn’t command us to confess our faults, but our sins to those we have sinned against.
    We need to challenge each other by our good works, not rally around our imperfections. We need to find our comfort in scripture where we know we are forgiven and a work in progress. I don’t need to know someone else struggles with my very same problems, in fact, I pray they don’t. I know life isn’t perfect for anyone. It’s the faults I do see in them if they’re exposed that I pray about. Why go around asking for trouble?

    If being a fan means I can watch a show, find the good things in someone and challenge my life to see whether it would or should work in mine, well, then I’m a fan. But then I’m a fan of you, too and most women I meet day to day.

  • Laura

    My bad…KJV uses faults, but it’s trespasses, sins not what you all are talking about. Just thought I’d clarify since the language was so close. After I wrote it, it sounded wrong. Too bad I have no editor to polish me up.

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    Laura: Before you accuse me of gossip, understand that the information I received through email is easily verifiable through online research. Researching information about public personalities is not gossip.

    Secondly, I think you’re missing the point of my original post. Go back and read it.

    I think we’re just going to have to agree to disagree. But thank you for sharing your thoughts.
    :-)

  • Whitney

    Sorry, that’s not gossip (defined as a person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts) Just because someone was talking about the Duggars behind the scenes does not mean they were gossiping. As far as I can tell, none of these women have private knowledge of this family, just things that they themselves promote and talk about in public. And discussing that is just discussion of public events – once your family hits the airwaves, you’re no longer private. Critiquing from a biblical perspective (with grace and humility) is discretion, not meanness.
    *and now I will not take part anymore – just had to say that. Enjoying the discussion here!

  • Laura

    Elizabeth, I didn’t accuse you of gossip. Indeed you said “Some of you have emailed me with more troubling aspects of the Duggar’s lives and theology.” and that does sound gossipy to me, but I certainly don’t think you can control what people email you. I’m sorry you thought that I was implicating you. Anyways, truce. I agree to disagree.

    I have to admit I broke my no comment rule in the Duggars defense. I like to just read some blogs and not get into the tit for tat arguments that go on.

    What is this though? *and now I will not take part anymore – just had to say that. –Whitney

    Is this the blogger’s talk to the hand move?

    On a very different note, I remember that you bought Bumbos for your girls and was wondering what age you started using the seats. My little girl is almost 4 months and has good neck control but wasn’t sure if it would be hard on her tummy. Thanks!

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    Laura:

    I have twice attempted to respond to your comment via personal email.

    My emails were returned. The email address you provided in your comments is not valid.

    Per my comment policy, I welcome anonymous commenters provided they use a valid email address.

    Please provide a valid email address or your comments will be deleted.

    I’m sorry, but I want to maintain the integrity of my comment policy as well as be fair to all the other commenters who post anonymously and honestly.

    Sincerely,
    Elizabeth

  • Laura

    Sorry…guess we’re not using that one as of now…hubby takes care of email issues.

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    No problem, Laura. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt! :-)

    btw, my twins started using the Bumbos @ 4months before they could sit on their own. They loved it and it was really helpful for me, too. They never seemed to be bothered by the firm Bumbo material. Best wishes to you and your little one.
    :-D

  • http://justjanetblogs.blogspot.com/ Janet

    A private email does not always mean gossip. Sheesh. I can guess the issues that were brought up and frankly I think it was gracious to keep it private so as not to cause more confusion etc. Man, this is a tough crowd.

    I could also encourage the ladies to get some information before typing….the Duggers were debt free years ago because Mr. Dugger is a very wise business man. Good for them!

    EE, what do you think about the cousin Amy on the show? She’s a feisty one! :)

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    Janet: Amy is an interesting character. I think she acts as a comic foil. The eye-rolling, the comments about “ditching the chaperone”—these add interest and humor. I think the bigger question is: why is Amy included in the Duggar footage? Maybe, as others have pointed out, the Duggars want to add a bit of accessibility, to portray life a little more realistically and I applaud them for that. Amy IS fiesty and I think she voices what many people are thinking when they watch the show. The producers have probably figured out that Amy adds a little spark, that she’s good on camera and all of this is good for ratings.

    I know. I’m such a cynic.
    :-)

  • Kelli

    Sometimes, I think christians corner the market on “my way is the right way” and judgement. I’m preaching to the choir here. Many times for myself I know that when I want to “pick a quarrel” with someone’s stance, it is because down deep I am some degree of jealous.
    We agree with the debt free deal, but after our car was totaled, we now have a car payment. Man, do I expect that to bite me someday soon, with the economy the way it is.
    I empathize (did I spell that right??) with the families on both shows, what a blessing to earn some money by just living your life on camera. But what a burden-living your life on camera!

  • somebody

    I would just like to say that Michelle Duggar personally inspires me as a Christian woman. She is so patient and joyful, and I can see Christ working through her. I’m so glad that we have a show on television depicting christians that doesnt make me cringe. They are modeling a very biblically based, loving household. I don’t think they’re being fake. I think they are actually doing things the right way with their kids in bringing them up in the ways of the Lord and teaching them respect. I think maybe it seems odd to alot of “christian” families because alot of “christian” families are not following a biblical model for their homes, and their children usually become just as rebellious (if not more than) their secular peers. Think about it, 70% of children raised in christian homes renounce their faith by age 25. Changes need to be made folks. Maybe more parents should try to make more time to be with their children and not more time work to buy more “stuff”. Try to impress God and not your neighbors