They're the ones in the stroller, looking all festive. Aren't they cute? Sometimes we just call 'em The BK's, for short. Of course, my name for them rhymes with Class Kickers, but we're a Christian family and we don't use those filthy words. No, never.
A friend of mine gave birth to twins a couple of months ago. I asked her how she's doing. She gave me a blank stare. I told her that's how I still feel–19 months in.
Some days I wake up and think: How am I going to get through another day?
Having multiples magnifies simple tasks into monumental endeavors. There was a time when I'd be all: sure, I'll zip down to the grocery store to pick up a few things we need. Now I'm like: Dude, I think we really can live on bread alone.
Having multiples magnifies all the weaknesses in your personality. Are you selfish? Whiny? Discontent? Having children–and lots of them–will expose your failures quicker than you can say Synchronized Pooping Twins!
This isn't all bad, so long as you know where to turn for help. Tip: I know disposable diapers are ruining the planet, but at least they saved my sanity.
Having multiples makes you re-define the word "me-time." There was a time when I'd sleep in on a Saturday morning and then read a book in bed for another few hours. Now I'm like: Cool! I just used the restroom without five kids barging in!
"Did the Butt Kickers kick your butt today?" Matt asks me over the phone.
Silence.
"I guess that means I'm bringing home dinner?" he says.
Silence.
"Consider it done."
See? The best part about having multiples is that you develop rockin' mind-reading skills. Matt and I are living up to the admonition of St. Francis of Assisi. Sort of. Our version of his famous quote goes a little something like this:
Parent always. If necessary, use words.
