1. Why Miracle Whip commercials try to make mayonnaise look all edgy and rock n' roll. And why they "won't tone it down." Um. Huh?
2. Why "Breaking News" on 24 hr. news shows is preceded by loud, frightening musical intros. Nowhere else can respectable people cry wolf over and over.
3. Why Sean Hannity hasn't blown a blood vessel in his neck yet.
4. Why people even watch Sean Hannity.
5. Why someone who is senile still has a job co-anchoring a morning show. Regis, time to retire.
6. How people can live without DVR or TiVo.
7. Drug commercials. Ask your doctor about Chantix. But if you go blind, have a massive seizure, experience kidney failure or die–you should stop taking Chantix.
8. Why I wasted so much time watching Jon & Kate Plus 8.
9. Why the writers of Lost intentionally try to mess with my brain.
10. An androgynous, purple dinosaur named Barney. Who sings and occasionally wears a pink tu-tu.
11. And why my twins looove him/her.
12. Why people find my blog by searching for "hot Duggar girls." I don't think Jim Bob would approve.
13. Speaking of the Duggars, congratulations to Michelle on #19.
14. Why I can't stop watching Oprah. And why can she make me cry?
15. How I wish they had a Project Runway for writers. And how much meaner it would be.
16. Why I get a very freaky, creepy, goose-bumpy feeling every time I watch Big Love.
17. How glad I am that I grew up without a TV. And how I wish I could get rid of it today.
18. Why Michael Vick hasn't been exiled to a remote island. Full of flesh-eating mosquitos.
19. Why USC football makes me deliriously happy.
20. How much I'd love to host my own TV show. And how I'd invite bloggers to be my guests.