All he wants for Christmas is a nose-hair trimmer

Posted on December 21, 2009 by elizabeth

As long as we're talking practical gifts–I'd like a year's supply of deodorant. I'm serious.

How awesome would it be to open my medicine cabinet and be
all: YES! The Senate has unanimously voted to give my armpits universal
coverage. For an entire year. Holla!

I mean, who wants a kiss that begins with Kay's when instead you can get a brand-new water heater? Now, that's my kinda romantic.

Except, sometimes even practical gifts go awry. My husband kept talking about how great it would be to have a fogless shaving mirror. He was tired of "shaving blind" in the shower. So, two years ago I got him one.

He still hasn't opened the box.

"Real men shave without mirrors," he explained.

Dude. Maybe real men can use tweezers to yank out their nose hairs, too.

I mean, what's the point of buying a practical gift if it's not gonna get practical use? 

Even those dopey Christmas sweaters are better than unused practical gifts. At least you can get a good laugh over that one Christmas when Great Aunt Marge bought everyone matching reindeer sweaters that sang. In harmony.

Not so with the unused nose-hair trimmer. Just seeing its unopened box will make me feel all depressed. Like an underachieving gift-buyer. Like I need to apologize. Do penance.

I dunno. Gift-buying is fraught with emotional landmines. Should I stick with the gift cards this year?

That way if he doesn't use it, I can use it.

'Cuz I still want my year's supply of deodorant.

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  • http://debsueknit.blogspot.com DebbieQ

    “The Senate has unanimously voted to give my armpits universal coverage” LOL!

  • http://dubdynomite.com dubdynomite

    My life dramatically changed when I got my fogless shaving mirror.

    I wouldn’t know what to do without one now.

    This Christmas as a gift to him, you should put it up for him.

  • http://www.kampkk.blogspot.com Kimberly

    Oh, I so need a year of deoderant. Why do I always run out and forget every time I go to the store??? Ugh!

  • Whitney

    For the first time in my life, I have a year’s supply of deodorant in my bathroom. It was on a ridiculously cheap sale and I said “Why not?” So I bought six. And it makes me very happy everything I open the bathroom closet.

    You should totally do the same.

  • http://musingsofacatholiclady.blogspot.com/ Michelle aka Catholic Lady

    I’ll trade you my unused year’s supply of contact lens solution (bought BEFORE the lasik surgery….augh!!!!) for your year’s supply of deodorant. I SO should have gone the deodorant route that year I needed to use up my Flex Spending account!!!!

  • Rebecca

    Get him the gift card to Walgreen or some other pharmacy place in town so he won’t care to use it. Then install the fogless mirror in the shower as his ‘surprise’ gift.

    You can both get a year’s supply of deodorant and the ability to look at your covered body parts while in the shower.

  • Rebecca

    That comment might sound bad. I meant you can look at your armpits, though if you take that differently…he could pick out his nose hairs while in the shower.