Amusing histrionics and why the iPhone spell checker sucks

Posted on May 3, 2010 by elizabeth

I've been shuttling kids all over town for two hours (baseball drop-offs and pickups) and am finally in the drive-thru line when he texts me.

Making casadias.

WHAT? Casa Dios? Casa de diaz? Oh, wait. Quesadillas.

Apparently, our iPhones don't spell-check in Spanish.

[sidebar: the iPhone spell-checker bugs the heck outta me. Mostly because I like to invent words. The spell checker is always correcting these words. Also, it doesn't understand the plethora of nicknames I have for my family members. It keeps offering suggestions like: Honey? Lover? And I'm all: NO! NO! HIS NICKNAME IS SHINDER McLENDERSON THE 53rd! IS THAT SO WRONG? So, yeah. iPhone spell-check. Annoying. But, I digress.]

Anyway, I couldn't respond to his text because I was already in line at Taco Bell. Plus, I had my taste buds fixed on taco supremes and raspberry iced tea. You can fall off the diet wagon once in awhile, right?

And then he leaves me a voice message. Except it's nothing but background noise. And yelling toddlers. DELETE.

An hour later, after baths, homework, sorting, etc. I'm crashed on the bed. He comes in and I'm all: "Sorry about not getting that text."

"No worries. When I didn't hear back within two minutes I knew you were in a drive-thru line. And so I quit making the quesadillas."

This makes me laugh so hard I almost choke.

"How did you know that?"

"Because I know you."

"I hate that you know me so well!"

He just grins. 

"Where's the mystery? The intrigue?" I wail.

He grins again. He genuinely enjoys my histrionics.

Dude, I love this man. My very own Shinder McLenderson the 53rd. Take that, iPhone spell-checker!

edited to add: Please note that my blog doesn't always happen in real time. Sorry for the whiplash! The "deadpression post" was a culmination of several weeks' thought and feeling, ending with Saturday's 'breakthrough moment." I finally set it to future publish last night at midnight. Tonight's post was just me being spur-of-the-moment silly. Sorry for any confusion.   :)

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  • http://thatguykc.wordpress.com ThatGuyKC

    it amazes me that wives get frustrated when their husbands don’t “get it” and yet when men do figure their women out (little by little of course) the ladies are disappointed.

    darned if ya do. darned if ya don’t.

    very cute post, nonetheless.

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    women. we’re SO DIFFICULT. we don’t know what we want. but we expect you to know what we want. awwwwww. you poor guys. so unfair.

    AT LEAST YOU DON’T HAVE PERIODS. :)

  • http://teachingonmars.blogspot.com/ Loren C. Klein @ Teaching on Mars

    You can stay on your diet and still go to Taco Bell–I mean, they have that Fresco Menu, right?

    Anyway, I’ve found that the iPhone has an amusingly adaptive dictionary, as it’s picked up on my use of crikey, my various Anglicisms as well as my propensity to drop German words in at random. However, it still keep on allowing me to spell “for” as “fir”. I find that most disconcerting.

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    Who wants fresca when all you really want is fatsa? :)

    SO TRUE about spell check. It totally enters wrong words at the wrong times, or it just guesses at totally random, totally unrelated words.

  • Dottie

    Esther, I hardly know thee. I must assume that you flipped from your deadpression with a bang and onto the manic side that makes you sound high and prompts you to star a club page on Facebook so we can all get to know each other better when you KNOW you already have too much on your plate. God bless you.

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    Dottie: LOL. remember that my blog doesn’t happen in real time. I wrote the deadpression post over a series of several days last week. I finally published it last night. Sorry for the confusion. :)

  • http://www.coopersx4.blogspot.com Sara

    why does the cherry coke at del taco taste so darn good?
    and don’t get me started on the crinkle fries, that hold the ketchup perfectly…
    hang on…I gotta run an errand…

  • http://www.admafrica.blogspot.com Amy

    I’m laughing because as I read this post (which I thoroughly enjoyed, btw), I thought it was much lighter than usual.
    Then I came across your ‘disclaimer’. So funny!

  • http://katiealender.com Katie Alender

    It’s not just that the iPhone creatively fixes words, it’s that it always chooses the most important word to get creative with!

  • http://www.madamerubies.com Heather

    Oh, this is just classic. One for the books. Love it.

  • http://ayoungmomsmusings.blogspot.com/ Young Mom

    Yum! Now I want a supreme taco, and maybe some dorito’s too. Way to go off your diet! I abandoned them 6 years ago and eating what I want without binging has made me lose more weight than before. I’ll never be skinny, but I wasn’t able to achieve that on any of the stupid diets I tried anyways.

  • Deborah L

    This made me smile.

  • http://findandfound.wordpress.com jessica mell

    gold:

    “It keeps offering suggestions like: Honey? Lover? And I’m all: NO! NO! HIS NICKNAME IS SHINDER McLENDERSON THE 53rd!”

    shoot.

    you PUT that iphone in it’s place, girl!
    *snapsafewtimesinzigzagpatterninair*

  • Tressa

    I hear you on the spell check… When I call my little brother George Turdly III, it tells me I’m spelling it wrong. What does the spell check know, anyway?

  • http://thefloodedfishbowl.com Rae

    HA! You are funny and is it possible you are a long lost twin sister clone girl or something. I took a blog break, redesigned, renamed, moved and all that jazz. I came back (to BlogHerAds) after editing and moving some old posts and I find this. I fight my days through depression too.Sometimes people don’t get my silly or funny moments.

    Anyway, this iPhone spell check: can’t live with it, can’t live without it. I hate it, too, for very similar reasons I turned it off once, but my sausage fingers and my dyslexia lost the war and I turned it back on. I wish I could tell it to learn certain words.

    Nice to *meet* you.