Tears for “Quivering Daughters”

Posted on July 9, 2010 by elizabeth

I tried several times to talk about Hillary McFarland's book without weeping. Could.Not.Do.It. I thought about editing out my tears, make this a nice, pretty little video. But you know what? I didn't. I didn't because what is happening inside "biblical patriarchy" is nothing short of tragic. We should be weeping. I was honored to write the Foreword to Hillary McFarland's new book "Quivering Daughters" and I'm unashamed to weep for these precious daughters, here. Please watch and please consider purchasing her important, courageous book.

This entry was posted in Book Reviews, RecoveringFundamentalist, Religion. Bookmark the permalink.
  • Rebecca Coleman

    Loved it thank you so much for sharing your heart!

  • http://www.paradiserecovered.com Andie Redwine

    Tears are evidence of emotion, and sadness and anger should definitely accompany these stories. Purchased the book today. Keep using that voice! We’ve got your back!

  • KatR

    Tears are perfectly appropriate when discussing these horrors.

    I especially appreciate your comment about not having to look in other countries to find this abuse. Some Christians love to talk about the evil of radical Islam, while ignoring or sometimes even promoting abusive Christian religious practices.

  • heather

    Just finished reading Quivering Daughters. Wow…no words. Amazing book, every girl should read it. Quivering daughter or not. :)

  • http://www.imgrowingingrace.blogspot.com anika

    you are simply lovely…
    I long to read this book… thank you for being so wonderful to Hillary! :)

  • http://www.thatmom.com thatmom

    Hugs to you.

  • http://civillascybercafe.blogspot.com Mary R.

    What are some things we should look for in girls (or boys) who are being abused by cults? Any symptoms that stand out?

  • Rhonda

    Completely off topic but wanted to say you looked beautiful in that video.

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    Thanks, Rhonda! i actually did my hair today. Which like NEVER happens! :)

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    Thank you, Anika. Hillary is the one who was truly wonderful! Writing the Foreword for her and sharing my review was the LEAST I could do. :)

  • http://www.nicolewick.com Nicole WIck

    I love you. And it was so nice to hear your voice :)

  • Jenelyn

    I love the emotion you showed. Very moving. And you looked stunning :)

    I’m definitely interested in reading this book. You are right. All sorts of abuse of this type (and others) is happening all around us in our own backyard.

    Thank you for your words.

  • KatR

    Hi Mary,

    I think it probably looks different depending on the cult. I know for the one I was in, the kids were encouraged to invite their friends to church activities, but were never, EVER, allowed to go to an event at someone else’s church.

  • http://hopewellmomschoolreborn.blogspot.com/ Lisa

    Excellent promo for the book. Sadly, the girls who need it most will probably never see it. Being so sheltered that you’ve not really heard that you are part of “Quiverfull” and not having unrestricted access to……well…….anything except maybe hard work and the Bible. I tweeted about your video to get the word further out into the world. Here is my second post on the book, too, http://hopewellmomschoolreborn.blogspot.com/2010/07/quivering-daughters-reading-notes-part_09.html

  • http://flourishingmother.blogspot.com Andrea

    loved it, elizabeth. so cool you wrote the intro.

  • http://jen5972.blogspot.com Jen

    Your last several blog posts have been very interesting for me. I have to say that I was really enticed by the Quiverfull movement at first. I started getting Vision Forum stuff in the mail, and started getting books that I thought were interesting. I homeschool, not so much by choice, but by the fact that my dd was diagnosed with sensory issues, and with ADHD. I know that homeschooling is really helpful for her. I was really looking for some support because I was feeling burnt out, so I started checking out the Quiverfull stuff because they seemed so pro-homeschooling. The thing is that the stuff made me feel really bad about myself. I remember commenting on a Quiverfull blog that was talking about the command to be fruitful and multiply. I commented about the fact that I only had one child, and that I had miscarried 6 times. I mentioned that we used birth control (natural family planning) because I didn’t think I could emotionally handle another miscarriage, and we didn’t have the money to adopt. The comments I got were pretty incredible. One woman declared that I must follow the commands of God regardless of the circumstances, and God may, as she worded it, “cause me to miscarry many more children”. It was confusing because she came across as really sweet, but her words were awful. It reminded me of your blog post (My Opinion is God’s opinion) where you talked about women saying the most hateful things in a calm, syrupy voice.

    BTW, I really enjoy your blog. You are a beautiful woman, both inside and out.

  • http://www.elizabethesther.com Elizabeth Esther

    Oh, Jen! Thank you so much for sharing this story. This is precisely the kind of stuff that goes on. I’m so sorry you experienced that. You can see how hurtful this kind of Quiverfull theology is. For some women, it might even be a death sentence. It breaks my heart. Thank you for your kind compliments. I hope my blog is place of hope and healing and honest sharing of feelings. I want it to be safe for hurting women. Thank you.
    xo

  • http://www.darcysheartstirrings.blogspot.com Darcy

    Thank you for this! Quivering Daughters is an excellent book and I cannot recommend it enough. Get it, read it, blog about it. We have to get Hillary’s messege to as many people as we can.

  • http://baptistthinker.wordpress.com/ BaptistThinker

    Interesting. I’ll check the book out. I don’t know much about the patriarchy movement, but it seems similar to the Gothardite stuff. Thanks for the recommendation.

  • http://www.thoughts-of-home.blogspot.com Carole

    I definitely think the Gothard stuff overlaps with/influences the patriarchy/quiverfull movement.

  • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

    Such a lovely voice…

    As much I feel hurt by your words about me in your posts, you’re right, you’ve somehow endeared yourself to me.

    Now THOSE are some weird emotions to contend with.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01157215d17d970b Ann Voskamp@Holy Experience

    Beautiful Elizabeth…

    I pray we can see each other’s tears and hear each other’s hearts and together we may be our Father’s daughters… the grace-bathed ones made strong in weakness and one in love.

    I see your tears and I hear your heart… and I pray for so many others….

    You are loved…
    All’s grace,
    Ann

  • http://www.ignoremeitseasier.blogspot.com AmyDe

    Thank you. Our family struggles with organized religion and doctrines (and that’s just the mainstream/regular ones) because our beliefs about God and family and HIS purpose for each of us (ourselves and humanity in kind) differ so vastly from ‘standards’. I am so grateful that you escaped and found your way to a true God of love and peace and equality.

    I pray for those trapped in and those perpetuating cults and using God’s name to do it.

    I will buy this book and read it immediately. Thank you for your bravery and honesty and humility.

  • Pamela

    I was talking w/a friend last night. Her previous church was a spiritually abusive church very much like the first church I attended; I had known that for awhile. What I didn’t know (and she didn’t know it either, until her daughter just recently told her) is that her previous “pastor” was molesting some of the women & young girls in the church — including her daughter — and it went on for years.

    She told me all about this last night. Thank The Lord they were already out of that church when my friend found out about the molestation. There are currently two police departments trying to gather enough evidence to arrest him.

    This is just like the junk that happened in my first church.

    I am so angry.

  • http://preparationmeetingopportunity.wordpress.com/ Christy

    I’ll be glad to purchase and read this book. Thank you for the recommend Liz. =)

  • http://terrybreathinggrace.wordpress.com terry@breathing grace

    You know Elizabeth, it took me several days to get around to watching this video because you said you cried. I can hardly stand to see someone crying without crying myself and I didn’t want to feel stupid for crying after seeing your video.

    But I finally watched it, and although patriarchy as it is described by you and others who have survived it is very foreign to me, I am considering buying the book to learn more.

    If you still read my blog you know what I believe about a wife’s submission to her husband. But we cannot imagine trying to exercise authority over our adult children. And any male relative of mine can attest to the fact that I feel no compulsion ot submit to any man other than my husband. I sit astonished and bewildered as I try to understand what Scriptures could possibly be used to justify some of the things these people preach to control grown women.

    You have definitely peaked my interest in the book. As one who came from a fairly liberal church background, I am interested in the other extreme.

  • BBwildflower01

    You are freakin’ AWESOME Elizabeth! I know for a fact that if we lived in the same town we would be GREAT friends! Thank you so much for exposing the CRAP that has crept into Christianity. I shared this link on my FB page, and I plan to purchase the book!! Keep doing what you are doing Doll! You are a GODSEND!!