Make Snuggle Not War

I'm a snuggler. It calms my brain. Also, it keeps me warm. 

However, some people don't like snugglers. We snugglers are often misunderstood.

This is how you can identify an Anti-Snuggler: "It's hot! Get off of me!" or "Don't cross this line down the middle of the bed!" or "Ewwww! You snuggle?"

My sister was the first Anti-Snuggler in my life. She practically made me sign a notarized Non-Snuggling Agreement like every time I got scared at night and asked to share her bed. She had a codified, alphabetized list of 25 Rules & Regulations For Proper Sleeping Protocol. 

These included (but were not limited to): no touching, no snoring, no weird breathing, no movement of any kind. In other words, I was supposed to be like a robot and unplug myself before bed every night.

I used to lie awake until she was asleep and then I'd stealthily creep one little toe across The Sacred Line down the middle of the bed. HA! VICTORY!

If I was feeling especially brave, I'd walk two fingers across the Sacred Line and try to rest them on her arm without waking her up. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes I had to do her chores the next day for breaking my word.

She was a relentless enforcer of her Anti-Snuggling rules.

Of course, I thought it would all be different once I got married. That was before I read The Purpose Driven Snuggle and learned that for men, snuggling requires a purpose. A destination. A reward. AHEM.

Snuggling just for snuggling's sake? WASTE OF TIME.

Can you imagine my devastation? First I get rejected by Anti-Snugglers and then I get manipulated by Agendized-Snugglers! So unfair. 

It's enough to make a girl cry during that movie Field of Snuggles. Because it was SO TRUE. If you snuggle, they will…

…well, they'll give you babies, that's for sure.

And therein lies a snuggler's salvation. Oh, sweet, precious little babies who like to snuggle! Babies who love nothing more than to be hunkered up in your armpit all night long. Or carried around all day.

Best of all, babies totally don't mind if you take frequent sniffs of their dear, fuzzy little heads. I'm serious, the baby smell sends a straight blast of oxytocin to my brain. Mommy wikes.

Sometimes I wish my babies could stay little. I tried sniffing my son's head the other day and he reared back in disgust.

"Ewwwww!" he yelled. "Don't snuggle me!"

Oh, why must they grow up so fast?

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  • http://heart-and-home.net Ashleigh (Heart and Home)

    I see your snuggle and raise you a smooch smooch.

    Snugglers unite!

    Love,
    me, aka, one of the original “Make Snuggle Not War” twitter girls

  • http://thebrokenquill.com ~Brenda

    Oh man, I loved this!! I am a SNUGGLER! And I totally hear you on snuggles in marriage. There’s really no use trying it unless you want to … AHEM. Sigh …

    Problem is, I’m fresh out of babies. I need a grandbaby!!!

  • KatR

    Baby smell is the BEST. Little boys do not retain that smell, however! :)

  • http://www.mandiesmumblings.blogspot.com Mandie Segura

    I always thought that I was a snuggler, but it turns out that I am a snuggler of SOME people. Turns out I don’t like to snuggle everyone, just my besties. And babies & my hubby, of course. :)

  • Naomi’s mom

    Hey with 5 kids, one of them is sure to have inherited your snuggle gene. Mine is 10 and the perfect size for snuggles. Who needs husbands. :)

  • http://www.bigmama247.com Alise

    I’m a TOTAL snuggler. With everyone. I mean seriously. I would snuggle absolutely anyone. If I meet you, I WILL hug you (okay, would — I’ve tried hard to recognize people who put of an anti-hug vibe, but it has to be strong and I have to be seriously paying attention). And if we’re friends and hanging out, odds are good that I’ll cuddle with you or hold your hand. I just love physical closeness.

    Fortunately, I’ve raised kids that are all cuddly. Even my 12 year old daughter will still lay her head on my shoulder if we’re watching Chopped together. Which is super nice.

  • http://www.thecottagechild.blogspot.com the cottage child

    We’re a houseful of snugglers – well, my husband and son are more like loungers who allow us to touch them, but we’re all pretty huggy and smoochy. My boy I can tell is growing out of it at the ripe old age of 5 – he’ll come sit by me to watch a little tv, but I think it’s a ploy to get me to let him stay up later. I guess it makes watching Wipe Out worth it. My girls, gratefully, are still amenable to the unabashed snuggling.

  • http://www.lovewellblog.com Kelly @ Love Well

    You mean my husband isn’t the only Anti-Snuggler in the world? There are (gasp) MORE of them?!?

    I’m freaked out now. I thought it was just an off-shoot of his Vulcan ways.

    Creepy.

    (I’m fighting the urge to scoop the baby out of his bed right now and sniff his freshly shampooed head.)

  • http://www.tothinkistocreate.com To Think Is To Create

    Bedazzlebrow 4-evah.

    <3

  • http://musings--aloud.blogspot.com Leah

    I’m not sure where I’d fall in the spectrum of snuggle fiens vs. snuggle abhorrers…

    If I’m crazy about you, then I’m stuck on you like white on rice.

    Also, if you’re in the four-and-under crowd, you are certainly prone to snuggles.

    Otherwise…not so much..

  • http://www.simply-rea.blogspot.com Rea

    I love it! I grew into being a snuggler in my adulthood. Sadly, my husband is an agendized snuggler. No snuggles for him!

    BUT my almost 6 year old is king of the snugglers. Not a day goes by (sometimes not an hour even) that I don’t hear “Mommy? Snuggle me?” Bliss.

  • http://www.sohappytolove.blogspot.com Heidi Stephen

    haha…I’m totally emailing this to my sister. She was the snuggler and I was your sister growing up!

    Snuggling with my husband and little kids? I DO like that :-)

  • http://www.laundryandlullabiesblogspot.com Emily

    LOVE this! I’m sitting here giggling at my computer – especially about the purpose driven snuggle…AHEM…
    ROTFL! Thanks, Elizabeth!

  • Wendy

    I am a fervent snuggler, and my sister is an Anti-snuggler. Fortunately my husband, if not an actual snuggler, tolerates it well in a variety of circumstances. Unfortunately my child did not want to be snuggled as an infant or toddler and only accepts snuggling under certain conditions, but I’ll take all I can get. Excellent post!

  • http://therosarytrail.com/ Margo

    You are funny Elizabeth! I’m enjoying reading your posts and am so happy I came across your blog the other day! Though I’m single, this post surely makes me appreciate family life for all the joys it brings. (Snuggler OR Anti-Snuggler) Thanks for sharing, I loved this post:)

  • http://www.justthelovely.blogspot.com Jennifer

    My daughter is 12 and sometimes her head smells just like it did when she was a baby. It still makes her smile when I hug her and say “mmmmmm baby hair”. She even offered to let me smell her hair once when I was in a bad mood. Good kid.

  • http://cindyholman.wordpress.com Cindy Holman

    Great article – my dear husband is much more of a ‘snuggler’ than I am – I must admit – but there are times when nothing else works to lift the sad times except a good snuggle!!

  • Debra

    I think my husband and I are both anti-snugglers. I think we snuggle because we both think we should, and then five minutes later we seperate in our king sized bed, to never touch the rest of the night. You might be an anti-snuggler if you wouldn’t dream of getting anything less than a king sized bed.

  • http://delesmuses.blogspot.com/ Jenny

    LOL Totally have been there!

  • http://www.wendygunn.net Wendy @ Faith’s Firm Foundation

    Hi! I’m new here. And as one “touchy-feely social crier” (that’s what my friend says, “I’m a social crier”) to another, I don’t think it’s “fair,” either, that God made me love to be close, snuggle, (and sniff babies’ hair), and then gave me not only a husband, but 2 children, now 24 and 21, who really prefer not to be touched too much and say, “No touchy” when I come close to give them a hug. Or tell me I’m invading their private space. Occasionally, my children, a son and a daughter, will stand stoically while I hug them, after asking, “Must you?” and then, “Oh, alright.” Then, the implication is, make it quick. I know somehow this is building my character, and there is some reason the Lord allowed this to happen. My consolation is that, in heaven, I will have my fill of touching, hugging and being loved to death…I mean, life!
    Blessings,
    Wendy
    Faith’s Firm Foundation
    http://www.wendygunn.net