A dynamic pit-sniffer

I really dislike writing bios about myself–especially when I’m required to write it in third person POV. The temptation to be a smart-ass is practically overwhelming.

Elizabeth Esther is a dynamic writer! Speaker! And professional pit-sniffer!

I mean, have you ever read those third-person bios where the writer is trying to sound all accomplished, professional and super-duper awesome? Most of the time I think those bios come off sounding pretentious, self-aggrandizing or just full-blown narcissistic.

Elizabeth Esther lives in Southern California! One time? She had the same chauffeur as Paris Hilton!

I mean, I get it. Being a writer is sucky because there’s no such thing as job security. You’re back to square one every single day. The urge to hype your own stuff is pretty much irresistible. But you gotta do it while still maintaining that I’m-just-a-simple-plebe-who-worked-hard appeal. You know, make it sound like you enjoy working for free.

Elizabeth Doormat Esther writes for the sheer joy of writing! She loves giving her content away for free! Please, just ask!

A couple of years ago, an editor warned me that if I got into a habit of giving away my stuff for free,  people would start expecting free content. He was right. At first I didn’t mind. In fact, I was eager. I’d write anything, anywhere for anyone.  But now that I’m a “legit” writer and get paid for what I do, I have to re-evaluate. If I give away too much, I get stretched too thin.

Elizabeth Esther is considering abandoning her writing career. Pit-sniffing pays more.

Not really. The truth is, you can’t always believe the hype. I’ll no sooner quit writing than I’ll quit breathing. I love it too much. And here’s the best part: I JUST CAME UP WITH AN AWESOME IDEA FOR A BOOK!

Elizabeth Esther’s upcoming book is a brilliant mix of snarky humor and insightful critique. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry. You’ll wonder: “WHY didn’t I subscribe to her blog sooner?”

Consider this your opportunity to subscribe to my blog and say, “Yeah, I knew her back when she was a professional pit-sniffer!”

This entry was posted in Humor, SmartAssery, Uncategorized, Writing. Bookmark the permalink.
  • Tara Meghan

    I like to veer wildly between too-vague and too-specific.

    “Tara Meghan is a resident of the Americas. She has family and an occupation. Yesterday made the awesomest chicken curry with an extempore homemade blend of Madras curry powder, because the Madras in her cupboard was expired. She went to university in the early 2000′s, but suffered from traumatic exam amnesia and remembers nothing she learned there.”

    • http://theduryees.com Rose

      You made up a word! “examnesia” :)

      • Tara Meghan

        Oh Snap!

  • Katy-Anne

    Yeah I wrote a few things for free to try to “get established”. But then I’d submit content to websites that pay, just to have them reject it saying that they wouldn’t pay for it, but I could let them have it for their free section. I declined. If it’s good enough for you to say you will put it on your site, it’s good enough for you to pay me for!

  • KatR

    I’ll take a shot at your bio……

    “Elizabeth Esther has maintained a slim, hipless elegance, even after giving birth to five sparkling children.

    A bitchin’ author, you can find her most Sunday mornings writing at the kitchen table of her spotless Southern California home while sunlight glistens in her shiny auburn hair and potato soup bubbles quietly in the background”.

  • Jack

    Dear Elizabeth, the only reason I don’t subscribe to your blog is I check it daily.

    I just type EL into the box, and it takes me there immediately.

    Keep up the good work!

  • Tiffany

    You are so amazing. I just started subscribing to your blog. You make my day.
    I relate to every single post I have read so far. I can not wait to read more.
    Thank you for sharing your heart.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      Thanks! and welcome!