[NOTE: this post is not serious. I DO advocate car seat use. Please don't endanger your children's lives by taking my smart ass humor seriously. Thank you. Carry on.]
Has the whole car seat thing gotten a little out of control?
I mean, dude, the way these new guidelines are going, Mama’s gonna need a rear facing, five-point harnessed car seat. Latched. Into the back seat.
This gives a whole new meaning to the term: Back Seat Driver.
Look, I’m a little woman. In high heels? I’m like maybe 5’5.” Even my eleven year old is taller than me!
The only way I see myself staying out of a car seat is by getting fat (not an entirely bad idea: I’ve actually been SEARCHING for an excuse to take myself off my diet!).
Maybe I’m just stupid about physics (VERY LIKELY), but I’m just wondering how far these guidelines will keep going before they become entirely impractical.
As my friend Kat noted, “Toddlers are strapped into cars as if they’re blasting into outerspace.”
Last week I told my kids that when I was their age? I rode in the open bed of a pickup truck down the freeway to the beach. My kids were shocked. SHOCKED! And scandalized. Like, MOM! OMG! YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN ARRESTED!
I know, I know. Those 80′s, man. They were some wild times.
Look, I’m ALL for safety (I will, begrudgingly, adapt to the guidelines). And yeah, if I saw a mom letting her kids ride in the open bed of a pickup truck, I’d get all upset and think she was being totally neglectful.
My opinion is? Car manufacturers need to GET.WITH.THE.PROGRAM. Like where, for example, are the cars with exterior air-bags? Because I see that solving lots of problems. Instead of car accidents, we could have fun little bumper-cars that go all marshmallow-y on each other. And then our kids would be like: wheeeeeeeeee!
OK, maybe I’m being unrealistic.
Am I being as unrealistic as these crazy-ass guidelines that pretty much require the strength of Hulk Hogan just to wrestle, wrench, tighten and strap these car seats into place?
For a petite woman like me, carrying my twins’ car seats around practically broke my back. They were so heavy! It was like moving heavy, industrial equipment. Without a dolly.
Ouch. Just writing about it makes my shoulder hurt.
Or maybe I’m mistaking that pain for the ache of nostalgia. Ah, for the good old days when my sister and I freely romped around the back seat, slept on the car floor, rolled over into the “way back” and made silly faces at other cars through the rear windows!
My children are so deprived.
[oh, look! comments are open! do say hello! it's been so long! ]