Breastfeeding are great!

Posted on June 8, 2011 by elizabeth

It’s always encouraging when the next generation of mothers thinks letting little girls pretend they are breastfeeding is disgusting.

As a mother who has breastfed FIVE babies, I’m particularly annoyed by childless women who make asinine comments about how breastfeeding is either a.) weird, b.) disgusting or c.) inappropriate for children to imitate. So, I had to respond:

And this was the explanation:

I’ll try to remember that the next time I see a lactating six year old. And also, to all you grown women who have fake breasts and fake babies? Just remember: breastfeeding is not for you!

Apparently, the target of all this repugnance is a new “Breastfeeding Doll.” Because YES! Let’s get OUTRAGED and DISGUSTED by dolls that encourage and promote the disgusting, unnatural, how-dare-they-do-that-in-public act of breastfeeding. Yes, this doll? This doll is totally, um, EW!

I mean, what’s next for Inappropriate Children’s Toys? Dolls that promote dressing like prostitutes?! Oh, wait. My bad.

But I’m being unfair. I shouldn’t really expect Ms. O’Nizzle to know the first O’Thizzle about breastfeeding. I mean, if the skimpy photos on her site are any indication, Ms. O’Nizzle thinks breasts are primarily for showzizzle.

Thank you…feminism?

At least things ended well between me and Ms. O’Nizzle:

Yes, I think we can all agree that breastfeeding are great. And so is grammar. But I digress.

The last thing I’ll say is that women have worked hard to erase our culture’s embarrassment about breastfeeding.

So, until this Cosmopolitan TV blogger is a mother herself, maybe she should leave us breastfeeding mothers alone and stick to her day job: opining about important things like how playing ping-pong is fun (especially when fueled by free booze!)

Namaste, indeed.

This entry was posted in Her Royal Mommy-Ness, Societal Commentary. Bookmark the permalink.
  • http://www.apearantlysew.blogspot.com Alison

    I can’t even form words for how much I love this post. Maybe it’s because I’m giggling to much at your use of “izzle” :)

  • http://www.apearantlysew.blogspot.com Alison

    ahhh! and of course I meant TOO much. Good grief :)

  • http://thewinedarksea.com/weblog.php Melanie B

    So why is it ok for little girls to pretend to give dolls formula from a bottle but not breastfeeding? I don’t get it. My girls see me nursing their younger siblings and it is only natural that they pretend to nurse. They don’t know what the heck a bottle is. I think its super cute when they lift their shirts and hold their dollies to their chests. A good chance for them to practice nurturing.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      Because bottles are more natural than breasts, Melanie! DUH! Breasts are for show ONLY! Who doesn’t know this??? ;-)

    • http://www.laundryandlullabies.blogspot.com Emily

      I’ve had funny conversations explaining to my little *boys* that actually, only girls get to nurse babies. They think this is totally unfair. :)

  • http://geekunorthodox.blogspot.com/ Rachel

    This post is great, I needed the laugh! I breastfed both my children in public even. My daughter would pretend she was nursing when I nursed her brother and all my friends who breastfed, their daughters did the same thing. Totally natural people!

  • http://www.storinguptreasures.com Courtney

    Crying laughing.

  • http://chroniclesofachristianheretic.blogspot.com Sandra

    let’s all go have a “nurse-in” at laurie’s front porch.

  • http://fromthepulpitofmylife.blogspot.com/ Ruth Ann

    Hilarious!

  • KatR

    Maybe I’m feeling a little sensitive because I’m one of the shriveled and childless, but was this really necessary? Yes, she needs some education about breastfeeding, and yes, she made a grammatical error in a tweet, but it seems like she WAS trying to leave things on good terms with you.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      Awww, you’re not shriveled! You’re just hitting your prime! :) I took her tweets as dismissive–esp. since I’ve experienced that same kind of “ew” lip-curling disgust from people IRL when they see me breastfeeding. And what would Max say if you called yourself childless?? :)

      • KatR

        Not seeing all of her tweets, it’s harder for me to get the tone I guess.

        Honestly, my first unvarnished reaction to this doll was “wha?” But I got to think about it for a minute. And I’ve been around lots of nursing moms. Maybe Ms. Lauren didn’t have those things before she gave her opinion. The danger of Twitter.

  • http://www.mybloggerconfessions.blogspot.com Sherry

    Bravo, Elizabeth!

  • deltaflute

    he he…my son has recently been interested in his body (well he’s only one) and still nurses. Sometimes when I’m not feeling well I tell him no boobie and we talk about where his boobies are. He’s a boy; it’s very unlikely he’ll breastfeed ever. But I would like to think that he’ll learn from me that breasts are much more than sexual objects and that breastfeeding is awesome. As a grown man, I want him to respect women and the benefits of breastfeeding.

    I suppose I’m saying I totally agree with you. While I’m not big into the flowered nipples on the breast thing (I’d rather a more realistic doll), I think it’s an important discussion to have with all children especially if we’re going to break all the stereotypes surrounding breastfeeding. I wonder what laurenonizzle would think about be having discussions with my son about breastfeeding since he won’t ever be able to do that. I guess it would be a double ew gross, huh?

  • http://mommyhoodbythehandful.blogspot.com/ kp

    This is the best post I’ve read in a long time. Thank you!

  • Valerie

    Clapping my hands! This post are great! You is great! Breastfeeding are great!

  • D

    Just so you know, a lot of feminists are totally in agreement with you that breastfeeding isn’t “ew!” http://www.thefword.org.uk/features/2009/01/breastfeeding_r although they may disagree on many points, my conservative Christian community and my feminist friends all agree that women’s bodies are not to be treated as only good for sex.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      I know! Yay, pro-breastfeeding feminists!

  • kristi

    You rock the house. I am so proud when my girls pretend to breasted their dolls. Yes, we have gotten a negative response before. Can’t figure out why imitating a nurturing behavior is disgusting, but playing with something called a brat? Totally fine. Desirable behavior.

  • Mara

    I just couldn’t help but think of the Regretsy “Namaste, Bitches!” thing when I saw that last tweet.

    Nope, not passive-aggressive at all.

    BTW, he’d probably KILL me for saying so now, but when he was small, my teenage son used to “nurse” his teddy bear on the couch next to me while I nursed his baby sister. Feel free to like, you know, “EW” at that, but it was totally awesome. I am holding out high hopes that should he someday marry and become a father he will support his wife and encourage her to breastfeed, anytime, anyplace.

    • Anna

      My little (male) cousins used to play pretend breastfeeding their teddy bears when their mommy brought home a new baby. She breastfed all of her kids, and I think it’s awesome that she used it as a learning opportunity.

      I have no doubt that even if my cousins don’t remember doing it, they have a much healthier view of womens’ bodies because of it. Like PP said, boobs and sex are not mutually exclusive! They *do* have a purpose!

  • Hope

    I enjoyed this post, too! Especially the “izzle” part! ;)
    My 2 yr. old little boy pretends to “nurse” – complete with the boppy & baby doll!

  • Denise

    I think it is adorable when little kids pretend to feed their dolls—-breast or bottle! Why is this doll any different than a ‘regular’ doll, though? Seems like just a marketing ploy to me.

    • KatR

      Well, it starts with the doll, but then you have to buy the fake pregnancy pillow, the pretend c-section scar….. a money pit. ;)

      • http://www.seekingfaithfulnessblog.blogspot.com Holly

        :) Ha Ha Kat! It’s a slippery slope! :)

  • http://www.americannaussie.katyannewilson.com Katy-Anne

    Yeah, why do they need a “breastfeeding doll” rather than a regular doll? So Target can make more money? :p

    I totally support breastfeeding and encourage all the young single moms I know to try it (none do but I do my best). However, I wish the support went both ways. I have a rare condition and cannot breastfeed, and breastfeeding moms will actually harass me about that, telling me I’m an abusive mom, that I don’t deserve my kids since I’m “too selfish” to nurse. My mother in law even told me I’d not suffer from PPD if I’d “obey God and breastfeed” (the same mother in law who will not let me nurse in front of her kids even with a blanket, and will shut me in a room by myself because “breastfeeding is immodest”.

    Many of the fundamentalist Christian women who nurse I think would have a problem with this doll, because several of them think it’s immodest to breastfeed and won’t do it in public or even in front of their children. In fact, at my baby shower (for my first, I’ve not had another for the next three) someone gave me some nursing supplies like a bra and nice clothes. The shower was all women, mostly married. I was supposed to show off all the gifts as I opened them, but got told off for showing off the nursing one by the pastors wife who promptly hid it. How can you support breastfeeding and then say it’s immodest? Lol whatever.

    Glad you stood up for what you believe in though. I just ask that all the breastfeeding mommies not harass me this time when I don’t even “try” to nurse this baby because of a pre-existing condition, and I’ll help support your efforts for nursing in public. (I even want to buy Old Navy’s “formula powered” onesie that caused so much hype and caused lots of people to boycott Old Navy, if only to annoy my mother in law. I feel that I’m not a failure if I’m feeding my baby what is best for her. Amazing concept, huh? I’m glad that breast milk is best for most babies though).

    • http://annalytical.com Anna

      I also have a condition that made it impossible for me to breastfeed. But I TRIED and I PUMPED and I failed! I got so much crap from other moms, it was crazy! Was I supposed to put a label on all the bottles I used that said, “my mommy has inverted nipples and her milk won’t drop so I have to have this crappy formula”?! OMG… just like people need to stop interfering w/breastfeeding mothers, others need to shut up when moms use formula.

      • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

        I agree that it cuts both ways. We shouldn’t berate moms who choose bottles. It’s their choice. I breastfed my twins but they also needed supplemental formula because they were premature. I didn’t feel the need to excuse that. You do what you need to do and that’s OK.

        • http://www.americannaussie.katyannewilson.com Katy-Anne

          That’s why you are so cool Elizabeth Esther. :p

    • http://rebekah-outnumbered.blogspot.com/ Rebekah Schneiter

      I guess I agree….really a breast feeding doll? If a little girl wants to pretend what she sees her mother doing, then go for it. But a doll made especially for it? Do we need to make a doll for little boys and girls to practice cleaning up after a circumcision or cleaning after a baby who hasn’t been circumcised?

      I breastfed my boys, each for a year. It was convenient and economical and healthy for my kids, but I was pleased to get my breasts back…my body back. I live in Oregon and I guess Oregon and Utah have the highest rates of breastfeeding. It is very vogue here and accepted. Although I do flinch a bit when I see a five-year-old lift their mother’s shirt up at the park for a quick sip.

      • http://www.americannaussie.katyannewilson.com Katy-Anne

        I have bought only one doll so far, but then again I have three boys and the girl in my womb is not quite born yet. However, they love the potty training baby and it helped with my oldest. But what I loved was later when I explained to him that mama was having another baby, that he keeps playing with the baby doll and changing her diaper and giving her a bottle and saying “be kind to baby” and patting her on the head. I hope it does help him when the baby comes.

  • http://www.aspergersmom.wordpress.com Rachel

    LOL!! That is awesome! When my youngest was born, my nearly 2 year old daughter would pretend to breastfeed her babies (without the help of electronic sound effects) to copy me. Common knowledge is that children learn through play and copy adults as a way of learning. It seemed logical that my daughter would incorporate this as a natural part of life. Balance means understanding that breasts have a use but also having conversations about modesty. What better way to have that conversation then through play. To make a big deal about it would make it seem somehow unnatural, shameful, taboo.

    Of course, maybe Ms. Onizzle may be more comfortable with the mother who gave her seven year old daughter a birthday gift certificate of $10,000.00 to use on her 16th birthday for a boob job. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/09/human-barbie-boob-job-voucher_n_873705.html

    That seems more in line with the idea that breasts are grown up playthings rather than a functioning part of a woman’s anatomy.

  • http://terrybreathinggrace.wordpress.com terry@breathinggrace

    Yes, I think we can all agree that breastfeeding are great. And so is grammar. But I digress.

    You are without a doubt one of the funniest, most engaging bloggers on the ‘net, EE. Bar none. I loved this.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      Aw. High praise! Fanks, Terry. I’m glad I put a smile on your face today! :)

  • http://Www.suzielind.wordpress.com Suzie Lind

    This is why I love you.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      Friends like you help me accept my sarcastic, funny side. It’s nice to be loved for every bit of me! :)

  • http://thesavingmomparents.wordpress.com Jessica (thesavingmom)

    Loved your post. When I first heard about this doll I was confused. I do have an issue with how expensive it is. Breastfeeding is usually the cheaper option so how come the doll costs so much more. It often saddens me how breastfeeding is treated in our society. Thanks for sharing. I probably won’t buy this doll for my kids, but I would be pleased if they pretend to nurse their regular babies. ~Jessica

  • frogla

    Maybe Ms. O’Nizzle meant breasts are great lol! I wish that I’d come up with the baby that breastfeeds. Remember the doll called Baby Alive the one that pooped & ate food! *loved*

  • http://annalytical.com Anna

    Wow, I would never, ever buy that doll for my daughter…. ever. I can appreciate the stance that it’s natural, etc because IT IS natural for a mother to breastfeed her children – totally 100%.

    However, I cannot change society. I have to deal with how society is. And the truth is there are sick people out who will see my daughter lifting her shirt to hold that dolly to her chest and try to do or say something inappropriate. I’m sorry, but child molesters are all around us – I worked with one for years and didn’t know until he was arrested on his 2nd offense. Whether we like it or not, people are out there who get off on this stuff, and our little girls should be keeping their shirts down for now, thank you. It’s not about making breastfeeding unnatural at all.

    I should say, I don’t really agree with any of the “realistic” dolls out there. I don’t mind her having a baby doll, but having all the stuff to pretend she’s a mommy – I think it rushes everything and makes it like a fantasy. Well what happens when she’s old enough to make that fun fantasy a reality? Enter the show 16 and Pregnant.

    Everything in our life has a time… when it’s time for my daughter to be a mommy, she will do mommy things. Nurturing does not have to be taught or forced; she will learn by example and I will teach her, and answer all her questions. Just like I do not want to rush her into wearing makeup, I won’t rush her into acting like a mommy.

    Come on – why are we rushing our daughters? Encourage nurturing behavior, sure. My daughter is very nurturing at 3 but she doesn’t need to pretend to breast feed. See, first she will have to go through puberty and recognize that she even HAS breasts. That is part of a life stage. It isn’t until later that she will come to understand all the joy that is having her own children and nurturing them through breastfeeding, changing diapers and everything else.

    So all the Baby Alive toys and now this toy – forget it. I hope my daughter never gets something like that as a present – she’s 3 and she doesn’t need to learn to be a mommy in that kind of a hands-on sense at this age. No way.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      Playing with realistic baby dolls leads to 16 and Pregnant? I think that’s a stretch.

      This is really just about little girls imitating what they see their mothers doing. If you stop them and say, “No! Don’t pretend to breastfeed!” you’re actually CREATING a problem. If you say things like: “Put your shirt down!” because you’re afraid child molesters might see them? You create fear and confusion.

      My girls play “house” and “Mommy” all the time–and because I encourage that I’m ‘rushing’ them? That’s just simply not true.

    • http://www.americannaussie.katyannewilson.com Katy-Anne

      If my daughter wants to pretend nurse, I’d have her do it without lifting her shirt…that’s the virtue of it being “pretend”. You don’t really have to expose the breast to “pretend” to nurse.

    • http://annalytical.com Anna

      PS I didn’t mean for my comment to sound so overly passionate, lol. I clarified more on my own blog http://annalytical.com. You rock Elizabeth – thanks for making me think!

      • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

        No worries, Anna! I LOVE sparking good discussion. Thank YOU for making ME think! :) xo.

        • http://annalytical.com Anna

          :) I hope the 16 and pregnant thing was better clarified in my own blog post. I just think if we romanticize motherhood – like anything else, there is a chance for misconceptions. While we love being moms, we have days where we cry and wonder if we can handle it. Seeing all the pregnancy pacts in the news and other issues that teens are struggling with, it seems the teens always say that being a mom just seemed “so fun” and that they wanted a baby to love them. I’ve read a couple stories where they do say, “I remember just loving playing with my dolls and I never wanted to give that up…” Are dolls to blame, no way – but we romanticize too many things in our world and then see consequences for it. I want my daughter to use *her* imagination to explore her world, not my reality – does that sense? If they happen to coincide then I’ll teach her. But I don’t want to force it on her by buying her a bunch of baby dolls – what if she doesn’t want to be a mom? At one point (actually until I was 22) I swore up and down I never wanted kids. I have to let that be her choice. I’m the mom, and she’s 3 – so she follows my lead and it’s not all her choice, but motherhood is for adults (hopefully) and so that one I leave to her, and hope I am a good example for her to look back on when she’s ready. :)

        • http://annalytical.com Anna

          OH, and playing house and mommy isn’t bad or forcing… hope I didn’t imply that. And I wouldn’t yell at my daughter if she did play “breastfeeding” but I might wonder where she saw it since I’m not nursing, and neither is anyone else we know right now, lol ;)

    • Lacinda

      Well said, Anna. I totally agree with you.

    • Lacinda

      Well said, Anna!

  • http://heldts.blogspot.com Brianna

    Best.post.ever. Oh my goodness, ha! And, way to go defending the cause of breastfeeding (and of grammar). I have breastfed all three of my bioligical children. People who think it’s “ew” are seriously out of line.

    Breastfeeding really are great! :)

    • http://heldts.blogspot.com Brianna

      Okay, here I am poking fun of the woman’s grammar, and I misspelled a word. “Biological” is what I meant to write. :)

  • KatR

    I think we’ve missed the real controversy here, which is that the doll is ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN DOLLARS. Seriously? For that much money, fake breastfeeding isn’t going to cut it. That doll needs to be fake getting into medical school.

  • http://roxannima.com Roxanne

    I don’t think the doll is new. I wrote it about it ’09 on the Mom Blog (http://themomblog.ocregister.com/2009/08/06/breastfeeding-baby-doll-sucks/28801/)

    I totally see your point that we should be encouraging breastfeeding. I breastfed for awhile and I’m proud of that, and if (hell froze over and I) ever have a daughter, I’d encourage her by being a good role model. I’m also incredibly disgusted by how people are disgusted by breastfeeding in general. My skin crawls whenever I hear the “I don’t pee in public” comparison.

    HOWEVER, I still don’t think this is appropriate to buy a young child, but not because of the breastfeeding – I just don’t think they need to pretend to be moms quite yet.

  • Bridgette

    How Funny! I just took a picture of my 2 year old son who started to “breastfeed” his cousin’s doll after declaring that “baby was hungry.” I guess that would be wrong on a whole lotta’ levels ;) Makes a great facebook picture, though.

  • http://brokentelegraph.com Tiffany

    I’m dying. First because I love that a “breastfeeding mom of 5″ rocks the “izzle” with such authority. Seriously. :) You take so much of the fear out of motherhood for me.

    Second because I read the title of your blog OVER AND OVER AND OVER wondering how and why a grammatical error of this magnitude would have slipped through your careful fingers. When I got to the end I said aloud “AWWWWW – THAT’s WHY!” In my office…to no one in particular. It troubled me greatly. ;)

    I’m not a mom…I’ve never breastfed…however, you can bet your bottom dollar if my body allows it to happen I will be giving my future child ONLY what nature intended for it to have. However, (and this will be TMI…sorry)…um…past ripped our piercings have me terrified that this plan will not work. BUT I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Until then, I’m with you, breastfeeding IS great – and really the only time I feel there is an excuse to have said breasts out in public. Fo’ shizzle.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      Hey Tiffany, be not afraid. Your breasts will kick into gear once you pop that baby out. Some women truly can’t breastfeed and that’s ok, too. But I highly doubt your piercings will affect your ability to breastfeed–I mean, as long as you take them out before your baby tries to suckle. :)

  • Danielle

    I have been reading your blog for a few weeks now, but have never commented. I HAD to comment on this one. You had me laughing so hard. I have a five year old daughter, three year old son, two year old son, and 6 month old daughter. The other day my oldest was receiving everyone’s babies to nurse them. I guess since only girls can nurse, my boys were employing her to feed their babies too! How disgusting!!! This type of ignorance almost makes me want to nurse uncovered! (I am not that bold).

  • http://sunflowerschoolhouse.com Honey @ Sunflower Schoolhouse

    I am the mother of 5 children. All of them were breastfed. The twins (3) are still breastfeeding ( we are working on graceful weaning). My daughter (the only one of the bunch) pretends to nurse her dollies, her barbies, and even her brothers’ rescue heroes.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      LOL! I love the thought of a little girl breastfeeding her brothers’ rescue heroes! AWESOME!

  • lacinda

    Why do so many breastfeeding moms think that because they’re breastfeeding they have the right to expose their breasts wherever the heck they want to? If you’re not willing to be inconvenienced by going to a desigated nursing room or at least to a place that is less conspicuous, then maybe you’re not ready to be a mom. Mothering is about sacrifice and doing hard, inconvenient things.
    Ok, so breasts may be more than sexual objects, but they still ARE sexual, and just because you’re using them for a practical (and good) purpose doesn’t mean that people aren’t going to notice, comment, or take a second glance. I’m really sick of comments being made about men needing to “just get over it” and being made to feel guilty for noticing. Yah, most men are going to have sexual thoughts when they see a woman’s breasts. That’s natural too. Can we respect that and not flaunt it?
    So, what does this have to do with the doll? I thought it was cute when my daughter wanted to breastfeed her doll after seeing me nurse her baby sister. I felt no need to shame her or tell her she was doing something wrong. But neither am I going to thrust a baby doll at her and tell her lift up her shirt and let her baby suckle. To me, this would be encouraging her to inappropriately expose parts of her body that she needs to keep covered up. And, by the way, some things don’t need to be practiced.
    I’m all for breastfeeding. But it’s something that needs to be kept personal and experienced in its own proper time. Also, do people really think that playing with a breastfeeding doll is going to increase chances of women breastfeeding when they become moms? I highly doubt it.

    • http://www.americannaussie.katyannewilson.com Katy-Anne

      Maybe you should consider going to a designated room alone to eat your food, or maybe even eat your hamburger and fries in the bathroom like you are asking babies to eat their meals in bathrooms or designated rooms. I mean, since you have a problem with babies eating in public, you probably shouldn’t do it either.

      And this is coming from me, a bottle feeding mom who can’t nurse and has had nursing moms be extremely rude and volatile to me.

      • http://www.americannaussie.katyannewilson.com Katy-Anne

        Would you also like to make rules on the kinds of shirts women can wear in public too? Because I have to say I see so much more of women’s breasts in particular tops than I ever do when they are breastfeeding. I’ve never actually seen very much at all when a woman is breastfeeding, but some tops that you can see all that cleveage, yeah, now I see lots of breast then.

      • Lacinda

        While nursing my 3 children, I was usually able to find nursing moms rooms, empty bedrooms at people’s houses, or make do nursing in the car. I know that there will be times that it is inevitable that a mom will need to nurse in public, but usually there are nice, clean places for her to go–or she can pump and feed her baby expressed milk. I’m mostly reacting here to the comments about nursing uncovered in public. I know that’s not what the post was really about, but I get hyper/crazy about such things and felt the need to rant a bit.

        • Lacinda

          And to answer your second comment, don’t you know I’d love to make some rules about immodest clothing! lol.
          I recently spent a week in FL and saw enough cleavage to terrorize me for the rest of my life!

        • Deborah L

          I just don’t get why a mom needs to find discreet places to breastfeed. That’s just silly. I was/am able to breastfeed in public without flashing breast tissue at people. (And if said breast tissue did accidentally rear its head, it wasn’t the end of the world.) I’m nearing the 8-year mark of breastfeeding everywhere – parks, beaches, vehicles, restaurants, etc. I have never encountered negative attitudes. “Pump and feed her baby expressed breastmilk”? Why on earth would I go to that extra trouble? Dear me. If this is something you prefer to do, that’s your choice – I respect that. But, to say that other mothers should hide while breastfeeding? Hmmm….

  • joy

    What D said. The swipe at feminism was gratuitous and detracted from an otherwise terrific post.

    • http://www.elizabethesther.com elizabeth

      Hey, thanks for the backhanded compliment!

  • Tammy

    While “nurse” is kind of a sweet word, I am a licensed “Nurse” and I get weirded out by the word being used to describe human lactation. I would love it if others would jump on that bandwagon with me.

    I breastfed for a total of 32 months (3 kids born at different times) and other than a very VERY rare lounge outside a ladies room or nice fitting room with a chair, I never found any of the “designated nursing room” that Lucinda speaks of above . CERTAINLY not enough to have been able to go out in public with my kids during those 32 months.

    While I admit that Ive seen women act goofy while breastfeeding (some people are goofy doing anything) it is more the exception rather than the rule. Most often Ive seen women endeavoring to be discreet. Like others have said, Ive seen much more flesh with people dressing like hookers than breastfeeding.

    Although GI Joes have become more pacifist since I was a child, boys still play at war and driving and building and other things they will likely not to until they are adults, I dont think it is odd to pretend to breastfeed. I think that “wedding dress up” kits are much more damaging to girls than breastfeeding pretend. Until they start selling the “Ken gets a vasectomy”kit, maybe playing pretend bride isnt a good thing to do. No wonder young men and women are in different places in thier early 20s.

    I dont think that anyone is suggesting that little girls lift thier shirts to breastfeed a doll thus inviting the lust of molesters…my son pretended to breastfeed and lifting his shirt never occurred to him. He now has a baby and is fully devoted to warming breastmilk (and all the other logistic obligations of exclusive breastfeeding) for his son.

    shizzle

    • Lacinda

      I guess I have been lucky to have a church and nearby mall that both provide very nice and cozy “mom’s” rooms. And I’ve had friends who have been very obliging to provide a place to get away for breastfeeding comfortably. If I needed to run errands, I could usually get by with nursing right before I left home and making it back before Baby got hungry again. In my 40 cumulative months of breastferding, there were only a handful of times that I really felt it necessary to nurse in public, and I still went out a lot, and even made quite a few out-of-town trips.

      • Tammy

        Yes, you are lucky. My kids are 22, 19 & 15 and my daughter self weaned 14 years ago, so things may have changed a bit. I have worked in maternal care (Neonatal ICU and Perinatal Bereavement) for 25 years and to me lactation is so non sexual that I honestly and humbly dont understand the connection you are making between the sexual nature of breasts and lactation.
        As as aside but interesting story, I recently cared for a woman who had an anencephalic baby. He spent the entirety of the 9 hours of his life skin-to-skin between his mothers breasts. He wasnt happy til he got there…he was like a baby turtle getting to the ocean. We all learned that a baby with no brain can breastfeed . Everyone who facilitated that moms parenting during those hours were aghast that there was a time when we would have done anything differently.

        • Deborah L

          Tammy, that’s an amazing anecdote. I work as a nurse on the maternity ward (where I do a lot of breastfeeding teaching) and I agree with what you said about how sexuality and lactation just don’t mix.

        • Lacinda

          A newborn and suffering baby being comforted against his mother’s bare chest is a very sweet and precious thought . I would never say that that should not have happened in that rare circumstance.
          The point I was originally trying to get across is that some people are bothered by public breastferding. As women, it doesn’t seem sexual to us because we do it and are around it so often. But not everyone is in the same boat as we are. I am annoyed by the attitude so many women have that if anyone has a problem with breastfeeding in public, they are a jerk and need to just get over it. Just like we, as moms, would want people to be tolerant of us breastfeeding, shouldn’t we also be considerate and mindful of others who do feel uncomfortable with it and may even have unwanted sexual thoughts (gasp!) because of it?

          • http://www.americannaussie.katyannewilson.com Katy-Anne

            Well, some people ought not to be bothered by public breastfeeding. My husband says he likes breasts as much as the next guy but that he doesn’t really see anything sexy about “boobs with milk coming out of them”. I know a lot of other guys that feel the same way. It’s not about sex, it’s about sustenance for the baby. I fail to see why this is even an issue in this day and age.

            Modesty and breastfeeding are two separate issues.

  • Deborah L

    Wow. That twitter person was being utterly ridiculous. I wouldn’t buy this doll – not because it’s a breastfeeding doll, but because of the scandalous price. $118.00?

    I’m surprised that there is so much controversy here. What on earth is wrong with a child pretending to breastfeed his/her doll? My children have all pretended to breastfeed their dolls/stuffed animals because they are used to seeing me breastfeed. No big deal.

    Now, on to the breastfeeding in public “issue”. (Because there are a lot of comments here about that.) Thankfully, here in Canada, breastfeeding in public seems to be more widely accepted. (Am I wrong here?) I am nearing my 8th year of breastfeeding (four children, not one – for those of you who are gasping.) I have fed my children everywhere and have never received any nasty comments or strange looks. Babies need to eat regardless of their location, for crying out loud.

    I’m so desperately weary of these archaic attitudes.

  • hippimama

    Lacinda — I grew up in a culture where women frequently went topless as part of their ordinary life (on a south Pacific island) and breastfed publicly and often. I myself have breastfed for a total of almost 5 years (in NY), publicly and often and never once felt that I was being viewed as a sexual object. Your view of breastfeeding may well be cultural where you live — and you would then be justified in choosing to abide by your culture’s norms (or if you thought they were wrong, to challenge them) but please don’t make definitive statements for the rest of us. Each of us need to decide how much we are willing to sacrifice for cultural correctness — I’m all for keeping public breastfeeding normal and natural.

    • Lacinda

      That’s cool that you grew up on an island!! I spent 7 years of my childhood in the Philippines where uncovered breasts were not at all uncommon, so it’s not that I was never exposed to breastfeeding growing up. What bothers me is the “it’s MY right” attitude and the inconsideration for people who may feel uncomfortable with it ( see my response to Tammy and Debbie above ).

      • http://www.americannaussie.katyannewilson.com Katy-Anne

        People that are uncomfortable with it need to grow up. Those same people eat when they are hungry, no matter where they are. Why do they want to deny babies that right?

        Help, I’m becoming a breastfeeding advocate when breastfeeding women have been downright nasty and horrible to me. Lol.

  • http://metropolitanmama.net Stephanie

    This part of your post made me laugh: “Yes, I think we can all agree that breastfeeding are great. And so is grammar.”

    Well-said.

  • Margaret

    Great post. I love your perspective.

    Not particularly a fan of the doll itself. Any babydoll will do, and you don’t need a fancy schmancy dedicated “breastfeeding” doll–most toddlers (girls and toys), if they see their mother breastfeeding a sibling will do a little imitation. For that matter, it’s probably seeing breastfeeding in real life context that normalizes it for them, rather than practicing with a doll.

    America does really seem to have a weird “issue” with breastfeeding. Only here is it OK for a woman to walk around with cleavage spilling out all over, but “disgusting” or even “seductive” (??????) for a woman to breastfeed. What gives???

    Makes me grateful for my husband–my best and strongest advocate for breastfeeding, without the weirdness or possessiveness or whateverness that seems to plague so many Americans when it comes to breasts.

    • Margaret

      (girls and toys)

      Ha. Typo. Girls and *Boys*. My three boys all tried to “breastfeed” dolls at some point. Good opportunity to discuss biological differences. :D

  • http://www.madamerubies.com Heather

    I sent this to my breastfeeding friends. LOL!

  • Hannah

    Elizabeth, very good points! I’ve been reading your blog for a while and always find your articles interesting and thought provoking and often time humorous. However, this was the exception. Do I agree with your point? Absolutely. Breastfeeding is completely natural and beautiful. If my daughter pretended to breastfeed her dolls I wouldn’t object at all.(I do think this doll is a little weird. The sound effects kinda creep me out..)

    That being said, was it necessary to mock this young woman in order to get your point across? Honestly, that almost seems like something a child would do, not a grown woman. Obviously I don’t know this woman, but what if she was raised to believe that all her breasts were for was to be used as sex objects? Do you really think being mocked on a popular blog by not only the author, but then most of the commenters is really going to help improve her view? I’m sorry, but I expect adults to hold themselves to a higher standard.

    Hannah.