Perinatal hospice care: the support you need when your baby dies at birth

Posted on July 27, 2011 by elizabeth

One of my readers, Tammy, sent me this video about the care she provides for families who lose a baby shortly after birth. Tammy is the nurse you see in this video gently caring for the baby and the parents. I was inspired and encouraged by the loving perinatal hospice care that Tammy provides.  Tammy also runs a burial service for deceased babies who would otherwise be thrown in the trash. So far she has provided dignified burials for 322 babies. Tammy is my hero. Thank you, Tammy, for the comfort and dignity you give to families during their time of deepest grief.

If you are here in Orange County, this is the local perinatal hospice care program.

[Note: the video contains some images which might be unsettling for some viewers.]

This entry was posted in Childbearing. Bookmark the permalink.
  • KatR

    A friend of mine years and years ago lost twin boys at birth. The hospital dressed them and wrapped them in blankets and she and her husband got to hold them and say good bye. Makes me choke up whenever I think about it.

    Tammy is an amazing person.

  • http://blog.berkman.ca Janet

    Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  • http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com priest’s wife

    While my husband’s workplace- a Catholic hospital-isn’t perfect, they do a wonderful job with dealing with miscarriages, fetal demises and still birth. and it is not until it happens to you that you appreciate it :(

  • http://recoveringpessimist.blogspot.com Jennifer

    God bless these people. I confess, I couldn’t watch the video… not yet anyway. When our daughter was born still nearly 8 years ago, the hospital staff took such good care of us. While I was in labor and delivery, the nurses I had were assigned only to us. They sat with us and kept us company. They talked to us about our baby, even though we knew she wouldn’t be born alive. Someone put some kind of picture on the door of our room so the other staff would know we were expecting a loss and not to come in and congratulate us. And when our baby was born, my nurse Kerri, who I am CONVINCED is an Angel of God disguised as a human, washed our baby and dressed her in clothes. She took pictures of her for us. She brought our baby to us so we could spend as much time with her as we wanted. Our baby was treated with dignity, even though she was only 21 weeks gestation. We basically had the best possible experience in an unbearable circumstance. It is so nice to know that this kind of service exists in Orange County as well. Perinatal Hopsice is beautiful and may God richly bless any and all hospice workers!

    • Tammy

      Its OK to not be able to look at the video…life comes in seasons and a season if grief is something to
      be respected. Im so glad that someone took such good care of you. A dad who was also a Nurse in
      one of my classes told me that his daughter was treated in a wonderful manner in 1978… I was
      flabbergasted…noone has good stories from 1978. He said the doctor many all the difference.
      That doctor had survived Auchwitz and chose to never treat a life as unimportnat, even one that
      would not last long.

      • http://www.mylifebehindthecamera.blogspot.com Sara

        It is with tears that I type this.
        My cousin lost twin girls, and still talks about the care they are received.

        How, as a photographer (still beginning), get involved…???

        • http://www.leighkramer.com HopefulLeigh

          Look into Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep: http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ Fantastic organization. They have a network of photographers that are willing to provide remembrance photography for hospitals and hospice programs.

          • Jawan

            I’m an assistant with NILMDTS and we are available to help any family in need of our FREE services (often depending on hospital).

          • sara

            Yes. I did. The application for that is very long, and I definitely not up to the “professional” status that they require….

  • http://www.hopeinthewaiting.com Krista Lord

    Beautiful. I have personally experienced two stillbirth deliveries and I had the best nurses and an amazing Christian hospital. It makes such a horrific experience much more tollerable. I have foot prints, blanket, hat and gown they put my daughter and son in, along with pictures. My two girls will someday get to see their brother and sisters things when they’re old enough to handle it.

  • http://heldts.blogspot.com Brianna

    Absolutely beautiful. I am crying, but am so glad I watched this video. So incredibly life-affirming and sweet. God bless you, Tammy, for all that you do!

  • http://www.wateredspring.blogspot.com Amy

    My sister lost a little boy in September last year. While there were many who were great who worked with her, some were not so gentle. This is very important for families and I am so grateful for those who help during such sorrow! May the Lord richly bless those who care for families during such times!

    • Tammy

      That is one reason why good staff education is so important…for most people (nurses and doctors included) fear turns into mean, even if they might intellectually know that being mean to the grief stricken is unacceptable. If you can teach people how to get past their fear, then they can be nicer.

  • http://www.indiatoappleton.blogspot.com Nancy

    When my first son was born, the mother across the hall from me delivered a full-term still born baby. My heart ached for her, and I still tear up thinking of her leaving the hospital with empty arms. Thank you for sharing this video, so we all know there are loving people to help families through such a sorrow.

  • Lucie

    I am tearing up at the story and readers’ comments even though I have not seen the video, nor have I ever given birth. God bless the Tammys of this world for the care they provide – in my book they are truly angels on this earth.

  • http://sacredjourneyhospice.com/ Decatur Hospice

    I don’t know what to do if my baby died at birth, it will be very sad and hurtful. However, thanks to hospice for their program it will be very helpful to people who experience that situation.