In defense of Santa Claus (and fairies and elves and magical childhoods)

I’m rather convinced that modern parents have forgotten what it means to have a magical childhood. Nowadays, we’re all in favor of the Very Serious Childhood—full of flashcard drills and tofu sandwiches on organic, squaw bread. We have collectively decided that frivolous things like fairies, imaginary friends and Santa Claus must be banished.

I’m pretty sure all this uber-functioning, over-scheduled, Very Serious Childhood stuff breaks poor ol’ Santa Claus’ heart. What he must think of all these highly-literalistic children running around shouting that he isn’t real? And also: parents have lied–LIED–to their own children!

Ah, me.

What’s a dithering, soulful, Mommy to do?

The problem, you see, is that I believe in Santa. Oh, yes. Yes, I do. I also believe in fairies, elves and a very particular little gnome named Mr. Plenderfoot who presently resides in my garden. He guards the fort my children made. He’s a very proper gent and so magnanimously tolerant that he didn’t even make a fuss when Jude knocked him over one day and broke his head off. We stuck his head back on again. Here is Mr. Plenderfoot:

Mr. Plenderfoot Guarding The Fort

Last week, one of my twins got out of the car and found a little seed pod on the ground.

“Oh, look Mommy!” she cried. “A fairy dropped her drinking goblet!”

“Why, yes! Yes, she did!” I answered. And together we skipped into the backyard to leave it out for the fairy. You know, because she’ll definitely be back to get it.

Oh. That wasn’t truthful, you say? Ah, yes. Perhaps I should have dashed that magical moment with all kinds of FACTS about seed pods, cross-pollination and weather patterns? Wait. Do trees cross-pollinate?

See? I don’t even know these things. The point IS, I DO know about fairies. And I DO KNOW about the magical wonder that lights up a child’s face when you tell them stories about how their garden is full of sacred hiding spots for elves and garden gnomes.

Have you ever spread out a blanket among wildflowers in your garden and told stories about the valiant dwarf, Mr. Plenderfoot? Oh, perhaps the nefarious plots of The Man in the Black Cape and how he tried to kill off my very own, imaginary friend: Elenob?

Yes, Elenob.

Now the secret is out. I’ve had a very close imaginary friend named Elenob all my life. Sometimes I even…..write LETTERS to Elenob!

Oh, dear. I’ve just outed myself. I’m a terrible parent because I play make-believe and pretend and dress-up and dance through the garden singing songs to elves and fairies!

How dare I? There are more IMPORTANT things to do like learn Latin root words and algebraic equations! And how DARE I lie to my children about Santa Claus? Won’t they stop believing in Jesus now?

Well, I talked with Santa Claus about that he laughed a very big HO HO HO and assured me that if I’ve only done one thing right as a mother it’s this: I’ve delivered my children from the clutches of a dark, cold, SERIOUS childhood and given them the ability to dream. To behold.

To embrace the mystery without needing to unveil it, explain it, understand it.

I’ve made it safe for them to be wonderstruck and awestruck and to hear sleigh bells on the roof.

Let others have their literalism and facts.

We have Santa Claus.

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  • JennyE

    Thank you!  And please convey my thanks to the fairies in your backyard, Mr. Plenderfoot, and Elenob.  I grew up on Narnia, Middle Earth, Taran and Eilonwy, Aerin and Harry in Damar, and the fairies in my own backyard.  I have also played a fairy professionally at the largest  Renaissance fair in the US.  Magic and glitter and dragons and imaginary lands make Jesus realer and miracles more likely.  

  • Kelly

    “And I DO KNOW about the magical wonder that lights up a child’s face when you tell them stories…”

    Oh sigh. I have to RT this now. I LOVE this post…

  • Bonnie

    I believe people forget *why* there is even a reason for this season and it wasn’t because some fat man in a red suit put kids on a naughty or nice list. Next year we’re telling our kids about the real meaning of Christmas and Easter. We’re keeping the tooth fairy though.

    • Anonymous

      Dear Bonnie: it IS possible to teach the “true” meaning of Christmas AND allow for Santa Claus. ;-)

    • Vosslers

      My kids know the real meaning and always have. They also love to pretend the Santa Claus Game right along with us. Heavens, St. Nick was a real man who loved children and is alive in heaven as I write! … I’m okay with what it’s become, especially since we don’t really go into all the commercialism, just the fun. Yes, you can do both. You don’t have to … but you can.

  • http://www.faithpermeatinglife.com Jessica @ FaithPermeatingLife

    I think you would like the book “Einstein Never Used Flashcards.” The premise: Imaginative play IS learning, and is even better than rote memorization for turning out bright, creative kids :)

  • Megan Fletcher

    So glad you are keeping your kids’ imaginations where they should be. I completely agree that kids are expected to be little grown-ups way too often.  Seems there are two ends of the spectrum, though, and little balance for many. 

    My kids asked two years ago if he was “real” so we told them the truth.  Gasp!  We dashed their imaginations and innocence and made them grow up too soon?  Uh, no!  We answered their sincere questions with honest answers.  We explained who “Santa” is and why he’s even a part of this season.  Then, we worked HARD to keep Christmas exciting because we were determined that those who insist on Santa (telling him what you want, asking for things, focusing on the presents you will get) being the most exciting thing about Christmas be WRONG, especially for our kids.  The wonder and excitement and sparkle in their eyes…yes!  Let’s keep it and foster it and encourage their imaginations.  But, by golly, let us NOT be like the rest of the world who has exchanged St. Nicholas, who loved Jesus, for an Americanized Santa who exists to satisfy our wants and help us be more selfish.

    Fairies and princesses and lands faraway where we can fight evil and slay dragons ….bring it on.  Let’s help them imagine.  But, let’s not convince ourselves that we have to deny Truth or avoid telling the real story of “Santa” to foster a healthy and strong imagination.

  • Liz

    You go girl!  By the way, I’m pretty sure you’re my new hero.  :-)

  • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

    Thank you. 

  • Laura

    I found a link to your blog in a comment thread over on Rachel Held Evans’ site.  I really love your site, and particularly appreciate this posting.  As a teacher, I hate how the current focus seems to be to crush imagination out of children.  So glad to know there are still parents like you who foster a sense of wonder in their kids!

  • http://parentingmiracles.net JessieLeigh

    Sometimes I think we underestimate children’s abilities to learn and comprehend.  While I agree that, if we’re not mindful, the “reason for the season” can become lost in the commercialized Christmas, I don’t think that’s “Santa’s fault.”  I see no reason why believing in Santa should mean that others can automatically assume my children are not thoroughly educated about Jesus’ birth and thrilled to celebrate the significance of the day.  

  • http://www.jennyraearmstrong.com Jenny Rae Armstrong

    Love this!!! C.S. Lewis had a lot to say about this, about the beauty and mystery that points us toward Christ. And yes, I’m rather fond of the “fairy glens” in the woods around our house. :-)

  • http://www.downtoearthwomen.blogspot.com Tracey

    I once had someone who told me that she realized that Santa, was just Satan, spelled a different way.

    Really. REALLY??????

    She used to sell stamps and once gave me a stamp set that she didn’t want anymore. It was a set of a Christmas train with cars, loaded with gifts and Santa as the engineer…..only she had taken an exacto knife and cut the jolly old elf out of the driver’s seat, so as not to “continue the corruption” of the holiday. 

    **Eyeball roll** 

    • Handsfull

      When I was growing up, we were only allowed to sing carols at school if we didn’t actually sing the words ‘Jesus’ or ‘God’.  Apparently those were only appropriate for singing with other believers of our particular brand of Christianity.  Who didn’t believe in celebrating Christmas at all, in any way.  Lol!

  • Maggie

    We tried, we tried to keep Santa around but our youngest from the time of 3 rolled her eyes at the tale.  Sigh.  We do however always celebrate St. Nicks day on Dec. 6th.

    Santa was at our church yesterday.  We took a pic of him with the kids and yes, my yougest was the only one in the group with a look of disdain on her face.  That girl was born an old soul I think.

    • Maggie

      My son was in high school before he realized that not everyone got a stocking full of goodies on St. Nicks day.  He went to school and asked everyone at the lunch table what they got for St. Nicks day.  Crickets and perplexed looks followed.

      And I know this is off topic but can we all give it a rest on the Happy Holidays hulabalu?  I say “Happy Holidays” because we celebrate Advent, St. Nicks, Feast of Immaculate Conception, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Day and the Feast of the Ephinany.  There are a lot of holidays this time of year and we want them all to be HAPPY!

    • Hippie Gramma

      We had a hard time keeping Santa around also; everyone knew by kindergarten at the latest.  School seems to kill that sort of thing.

      Are there geographical differences in some of this?  I know kids are way more overscheduled than when we were kids, but I’ve not seen it at the expense of play and imagination.  If anything, parents here are critical of others who do overschedule, who don’t leave any time for fun.  Are we a little more relaxed out here in the middle?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ron-Kerns/100000658746013 Ron Kerns

    Was Mr. Plenderfoot in “Gnomeo & Juliet”??

  • Red

    Thank you!

    I have to say that I’m glad my parents never told me Santa was “real” (I think I would have felt stupid when I found out that everyone had been pulling my leg my entire childhood), BUT we always pretended about Santa at my house–the way we pretended my stuffed animals were alive, or that a cardboard box was a spaceship, etc.  I knew in my head that Santa wasn’t actually the one eating the cookies and leaving the stocking…..but my parents would never “fess up” to it, which pretty much left the magic in tact. :)

    There was never any of this ridiculous guilt about it being pagan, or losing the reason for the season, or whatnot. How silly. People worry too much.

    My parents let me pretend about magic as much as I wanted, and frankly, I’m a better person for it. And I would hold that defense against any parent who thinks otherwise.

  • Susan

    Thank you for outing yourself. I feel the very same way. Kids need a little imagination, fun and creativity in their lives. Especially in their childhood. My santa-believing years are some of the best times I can remember about my childhood, although yes, I still believe too. I love the joy that Santa can bring into my children’s lives but have felt a little off after my brother in-law recently told me he felt I was being silly. That I shouldn’t lie to my children or give them false hopes in something that doesn’t exist. They need to learn about and be based in reality, he told me. I believe the world is too serious to keep kids based in reality all of the time. And it just sucks the fun out of everything. 

  • Anonymous

    Yes!  And we give GIFTS at our house – big meanies that we are.  :)

    Life is too hard, too short, and you grow up and realize these things too soon.

    Let them enjoy!

  • http://somewiseguy.com ThatGuyKC

    Amen and Amen!
    As parents we do our kids better service by inspiring them to dream and exposing them to magic than by shoving their little brains with facts and other rubbish that won’t really do them any good.

    And I believe in Santa Claus too. :)

  • http://profiles.google.com/reatschetter Loretta Tschetter

    I didn’t grow up with Santa so it’s kind of awkward for me to try to incorporate him now.

    Oh, but I was absolutely sure that doorways to other worlds and other times were everywhere if you just knew where to look. And magical places were hidden just off the beaten path.

    So it kind of warmed my heart when I heard my older tell my younger that Santa comes from another dimension. Because, you know, that explains an awful lot of stuff.

  • Thelavenders

    Oh my goodness! I cannot believe you just said you talked to Santa Claus about Jesus. You should be talking to Jesus about Santa Claus. We only have our children a short time on this earth and we have been commanded to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Why waste those years installing false beliefs in a false God when you need to be teaching them about the omniscient and omnipresent true God. Small children can sometimes have difficulty understanding the attributes and person of Christ. Why complicate things by throwing in false teachings about imaginary things? Can you not have fun family time without the need to make up such silly lies? No where does the bible command you to “teach them dream”, but I am sure however that there will be plenty of people dreaming in hell. Dreaming of a relationship with Christ in heaven. Dreaming their parents had taught them more of the gospel. Thank you

    • Anonymous

      I’m really hoping this was a sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek comment because it literally just gave me the best laugh of the day. Thank YOU!

      • KatR

        Laughing? Where in the Bible are you commanded to laugh? There will be plenty of people laughing…..IN HELL.

        I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling filled to the brim with the love of Jesus.

    • Sarah

      Oooooh you’re trying so very hard aren’t you? I feel too sad for you to rip this post to shreds. 

    • http://www.downtoearthwomen.blogspot.com/ Tracey

      I’m wondering if it’s okay to make a grilled cheese sandwich, because I don’t see that anywhere in the Bible, either. 

      So, will I go to hell if I make a grilled cheese sandwich?  And if I do, will I be only dreaming about bleu cheese? Look, there are lots of things in this world we are allowed to enjoy and just because it isn’t “in the Bible” does not mean we are sinning if it isn’t specifically permitted. Furthermore, would you send YOUR kid off to hell because they taught their kids, your grand kids,  about fairies and Santa? Really, would you? Think about it in that context. If you who are evil can give good things to your children, how much more so will your Father in heaven give to you? It’s probably fine to lighten up a bit. 

  • Kristen Strong

    This post? Beyond awesome. A zillion Santa gifting, pixie dusted L*O*V*E*S!!

  • http://suburbandelight.net/ Bleuberry

    Thanks for this! What a sad and sorry childhood it would be, to lose all the magic and mystery of imagination… to lose those precious years of dreams and hopes and the creativity that our Creator built into us. You inspire me to one day do the same for my future children as well! :-)

  • http://faithandfood.morizot.net/ Scott Morizot

    After a boatload of kids (youngest is 15), I can state that Santa never hurt any of them. And with one granddaughter, it’s now my older son’s “problem”. ;-)

  • http://crystalwhimsey.com/ Crystal Whimsey

    I applaud you. Our children are our greatest joy and deserving of all the best we can give them. By that I mean the best of ourselves. You are doing that. I loved your post. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  • http://www.greenaroundtheedges.net/ Kate @ Green Around the Edges

    Great post!  Thanks for putting into words the emotions in my heart.  Seeing Santa Claus through my three-year-old daughter’s eyes this year has reignited the magic and I’m so glad.  I’m married to a minister and we’re perfectly content to balance Jesus and Santa and I’m pretty sure my kids aren’t going to have a hard time telling the difference and appreciating both!!

    • http://www.downtoearthwomen.blogspot.com/ Tracey

      I think 3 years old  is really the age where kids start to really “get” the whole Christmas celebration and actually get excited about it. I have a daughter who turned 3 in August and I am having the most fun this year just watching her understand the idea of Christmas. 

  • Fallaya

    I love this!  As the mother of a toddler, I’ve often wondered how I was going to handle the whole Santa thing.  I’ve decided to let her believe what she wants.  It’s not going to hurt her to think that Santa will bring her the dump truck she wants (yes, my prim and proper little lady wants Santa to bring her a dump truck!!).  Kids today grow up so quickly.  They hardly get to be kids anymore.  I want my daughter to be a kid for as long as possible.

  • sarah

    For as long as I can remember, I never bought into Santa Claus.  I think it had something to do with the fact Santa seemed to have the same handwriting as my mom.  However, I had the tooth fairy, Alice and her adventures in Wonderland and imaginary worlds filled with princesses, fairies and all kinds of adventures. 

    While we don’t “do” Santa in our house at Christmas for many reasons – the husband is Jewish, I want the girl to know whose money is buying the gifts, etc. - I believe at my core that the Lord blesses little girls with imaginations for amazing imaginary worlds and adventures to just let them be little girls and not rush growing up. 

    So in our house, there will be plenty of room for Jesus and far away lands where fairies and gnomes reside…perhaps even a white rabbit late for a very important date will show up in our house.

    Beautiful post!

  • Anna

    I loved your post, and I really wish that the magical and imaginative thinking and play you describe came without so many strings attached at our house. :) Last night I ran upstairs to find my five year-old son sitting up in bed sobbing about his fear of being on “the naughty list” (not a phrase I have ever used), and even after much comforting he was begging me to tell him that Santa wasn’t real “so I can get the naughty list out of my head!” I decided at that moment that assuring my perfectionist boy of the unconditional love of his parents and of God and freeing him of the FEAR OF SANTA (seriously, is this kid for real?) was the most important thing.
    Just not enjoying the Santa thing this year. 

    • Anonymous

      Such a good point. I do believe that when children need/are asking for direct answers–we ought to give them. Every mother knows when her child is asking for literal facts. Some children need that. It comforts them and I completely support that, too. You are a good mama.

  • Clairezip

    I don’t think this is an either/or: either you have santa or you have no imaginative/pretend childhood.  We don’t do santa, for a lot of reasons – but one of the primary ones is that growing up, I fought hard at school to prove that Santa was real.  I went home asking my mom to tell me the truth.  I was devastated.  It took the magic out of Christmas for me for at least 5 years.  It wasn’t until I was older that I reclaimed the magic of Christmas in the candlelight worship services and traveling in my heart with the magi to see a baby king.  I don’t want my kids to ever lose the magic of Christmas when they lose Santa.  So we have plenty of ‘magic making’ around the real story (which includes the real St. Nicholas and his generosity), and traditions like creating a walking nativity at a friends snowy acreage every year where we travel with Mary and Joseph to wonder at all the magically amazing signs.  We have fireworks to symbolize the angels.  We have an amazing birthday breakfast for Jesus on Christmas morning where I decorate the house while the kids are sleeping with decorations we’ve worked hard on all week.  
    I also like how in Europe the pretend involves ‘real’ characters of magic – like St. Nicholas and the Christ-child being the one who brings the gifts on Christmas morning. 

    I don’t think Santa is evil, and I know so many families have so much fun with that character – I just felt so robbed of the magic of Christmas when I found out the truth, so I want to create magic that will last.

  • Jennifer Hartline

    Yay!!!  I believe in Santa Claus, too!  And I still listen for sleigh bells on the rooftop!  Thank you for saying this.  I’m with you all the way.  If childhood can’t be a little magical, then, oh how SAD!!  Merry Christmas!

  • http://www.godspeakstoday.net/ Sandy@godspeakstoday

    I love this…posting on my FB page.  :)

    Blessings,
    Sandy

  • Erin

    Yes, yes, YES!!!!!

  • Happy Spider

    It’s terrible how adults crush children’s imagination with facts. It’s because scientists have no soul. Just consider the sorts of things they say:
    — all atoms were formed in the hearts of suns so what you are really made out is star dust.
    — Your cat is your little cousin millions of times removed.
    — For that matter, a tree is your relative too but so long ago that you can’t even imagine, before hearts or spines or brains or blood or emotions or feelings or anything. But it’s a eukaryote just like you. We all come from the impossibly old pact between mitochondria and nucleus made who knows how or why. Earth is an ark of life which is all related. We’re all in this together, us against the rest of the universe.
    — Many diseases are caused by tiny animals which are so small you can’t see them but I swear they exist. Yes, they attack thousands or millions at a time even though you can’t feel them at all; that’s just because they are too small to sense. Fortunately your body has made a huge army of friendly animals, also too small to see, that battle the enemy armies in gigantic wars that go on without your knowing about it. Except that you might sneeze or run a fever.
    — Some ants are farmers. They grow plants in areas they have claimed for that purpose and tend to them. Other ants are ranchers. They keep livestock and milk them for food.
    — A male bower bird tries to impress the lady bower birds by making beautiful elaborate nests. One way to make the bower beautiful is to add color. So do not drop colorful objects around male bower birds since they will carry them off to incorporate into their artistic endeavors.
    — An algebraic equation is like magic. You have a jumbled mess of variables and numbers, and then you start tidying it up, adding on both sides here, multiplying there, rearranging sporadically, and suddenly, poof, you get X equals whatever. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle that starts out as a big tangled mess of pieces and after lots of fiddling around seems to all at once resolve into a recognizable picture. And the magic trick never fails. You can do it over and over again and it works every time.

    See? How soul-deadening it all is. How can scientists bear to live lives of such dreariness.

    So are your fairies harmless little sugar-plums or do you go for the more fey? If the latter, I hoped you warned your children that they could pick up fairy goblets but they must never ever drink from one! Remember what happened to the sister who ate the fairy fruit in Christina Rosetti’s “Goblin Market”.

    Did you ever read Dicken’s “Hard Times”? He has a horrible major character in that book who always goes on about raising children with rationality and logic. He uses facts to crush children, exactly as you are complaining about here. Dickens went all out in making this guy really loathsome.

    See? Soul-dead

  • http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/ Missy @ It’s Almost Naptime

    Love it :)

    My mom often has long conversations with Mr. Squirrel, who lives in our yard. Mr. Squirrel constantly updates my mom on my 4 kids’ good and bad deeds :)

    I know that years and years from now, my kids will look at a squirrel and remember this sweet time with their grandma. And something tells me a Mr. Squirrel will be tattling on my great-great grandkids too.