Yo, yo, yo! Give it up for: “Book Burning Thugz” aaaaand “Enemeeez of da Troof!”

Let me introduce you to my party people in da club.

According to No Great Joy Ministries, those of us who are speaking out against Michael Pearl are “enemies of the truth” and “book burning thugs.”

Enemies of The Truth? Book Burning Thugs?

Aw, come on, now. That ain’t right. According to my Street Lexicon, these names appear as: Enemeez of da Troof and Book Burning Thugz. (I personally prefer Book Burning Thugz. But y’all can call me BBT for short.)

Oopsie-daisy. I’m guessing someone over at No Greater Joy made a wittle mistake in translation. Enemies of the Truth? That’s sooooo not “The Authorized” 1611 King James Version!

Before we start name-calling, let’s break it down from DA ORIGINAL GREEK, yo. I mean, far be it from me to misinterpret this name-calling or to spread misinformation.

According to my handy concordance, the TRUE meaning behind these names are as follows….

  • In the King James Version, these names often appear as: “Truth’s Enemies Hath Encamp-ed Me Round About” and “The Scoffers, They Doth Scoff.”
  • Then again, if we’re going to use the Amplified Version of these names, you might find “Book Burning Thugs” translated as:

BBT Diddy

BBT.i.am

BBTiggity

And in The Message version, my gangsta name goes something like this: BBTfoshizzle!

But I mean, who takes The Message seriously, right? That’s just a dumbed-down version for peeps who can’t handle da TROOF, am I right?

The point is, No Greater Joy Ministries is giving me WAY too many props. They’re claiming I’m part of some “coordinated attack.” Dudes. I can barely coordinate my outfits. Not to mention my gangsta aliases.

But hey, if you think my Distraught Pants are all that plus a bag of chips? I ain’t gonna be mad atcha!

Thug Life 4EVA, yo!

Peace out,

BBT…fo shizzle.

[full disclosure: I ain't never burned no books. Carbon emissions, people. Get widd da program.]

**addendum to the disclosure**

if you call me names, it’s not disrespectful to have fun wid those names
plus, also, if you send me hate mail–I’m gonna flip dat script, too.
p.p.s. i wrote this because frankly? I needed a laugh. Book Burning Thugs? REALLY?! 

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  • http://parentingmiracles.net JessieLeigh

    Oh, BBTiggity… I’m going to be giggling about that all afternoon.  For realz, yo.

  • Sara Sophia

    You have no idea how much I love you :D

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ron-Kerns/100000658746013 Ron Kerns

      i thought about writing that, too….but, that would have been REALLY creepy….(I try to stay away from restraining orders!)

  • http://twitter.com/gmthul Gen Thul

    To Train Up a Child is going in my burn barrel today. I will happily wear the title BBTfoshizzle. Somehow burning (despite carbon emissions) is far more cathartic than simply throwing that truth-twisting thin fable in the garbage can.

    • http://www.downtoearthwomen.blogspot.com Tracey

      No No NOOOOOOO!!!! 

      COMPOST….go organic!!!! 

      • Amy

        That’s a great idea! I’m gonna shred it and THEN put it my composter.

      • Zooey

        Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh!! How many times do I have to tell you: Put the shreds in the cat box!! You don’t know what the word “cathartic” means until the next time Kitty, um…..”relieves herself” in MP’s general direction.

    • http://tikatu.livejournal.com/ Tikatu

      I dunno. Ripping it page by page and sending the pages through the shredder might be equally cathartic. And you end up with lots of free packing material for your Christmas parcels!

  • Jennifer

    I needed this too.  Thank you!

  • http://cuppboard.blogspot.com Elizabeth Erazo

    Oh, how much i love your blogging!  Way to speak the troof in humor!  Please continue to refuse to be lowered to their standard engagement practices. Continue to be strong, refusing to call names, or use heavy-handed sanctimonious titles for those who perpetuate the ideas of the Pearls. If you just speak the truth simply and clearly, without vitriol, then you will be heard. 

    I am praying for you!
    ♥ another ee

  • http://imagineangie.blogspot.com Angela

    Word!

    It’s hilarious to me that you probably didn’t realize that when you first mentioned the ministry who named your new gangta crew you called them No Great Joy Ministries. Hmm….Freudian slip?

  • Sarah Watts

    You’re tha bomb, elizabeth esther! 

    you know who I think are “thugs”? People who need to beat their children into submission to prove how “godly” they are. 

    Way to speak the Troof! 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ron-Kerns/100000658746013 Ron Kerns

    You’re just too funny…but, that’s the way you’ve gotta be sometimes…just make fun of those who are being so ridiculous.

    and, that’s what people like this do….scream “persecution” and label you as “spiritually incompetent” just because you don’t “believe” what they do!

    The grief I got for “criticizing” Gothard years ago was SO SIMILAR! It’s as if they read the same book on responding to so-called “attacks”….

    …at the risk of sounding “creepy”…i’d call you my “new hero”!! Really….so good to know someone out there is like me…and not afraid to ‘speak out’ when necessary…even if it means enduring the attacks on OUR “character” and such….

  • http://themommaknows.com Dawn @ The Momma Knows

    You rock. That’s awesome. Real thugs are moms who whack their 9 month olds hands with a spoon to “teach him a lesson” (as a woman I know did, right there at Pizza Hut, with me sitting across from her.) UGH! 
    THUGZ indeed!

    • http://thehomespunlife.com Sisterlisa

      ack!!! whacked a 9 month old with a spoon? ouch!!

  • http://www.leighkramer.com/ HopefulLeigh

    Word, homey.

  • Handsfull

    LOL!  Love it!  Elizabeth Esther, you are officially awesome!

  • http://profiles.google.com/reatschetter Loretta Tschetter

    When you say ‘enemeeez of da Troof’ I get this weird combination voice of gangsta and the minister from Princess Bride in my head.

    You rock. :)

    • http://www.fromtracie.com From Tracie

      THAT is hilarious! I’m totally reading it that way in mind now, too. 

  • Mark S.

    Can I be in yo posse?

  • Allison Grace

    I’m in!

  • Nurse Bee

    Have I mentioned I love your blog?   Thankfully,  I read enough about the Pearls online to steer clear of their books.  And when my sister had someone give her their book on marriage when she was engaged, I convinced her to throw it away.

  • Anonymous

    nothin but love, yo.

  • http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com moi

    hey- if the gubmint isnt doin the burnin- us peeps can burn all wez wantz (golly- I’m not a rapper!)
    ;)

  • Tara S

    It was a pleasure to burn…sweet tracks!   
    (Or is it “lay down” sweet tracks?  Oh man, pwned by my own petard.)

  • theresa46

    HHmmmm, ya musta be doing something right eh, as it would appear yous is becoming a “thorn in the side of MP” ;-)  

  • http://ifmeadowsspeak.blogspot.com/ tammy@if meadows speak

    you make me smile…..

  • http://thehomespunlife.com Sisterlisa

    their FB note is silly. Anyone who disagrees with them is an enemy of truth? riiiight ;)

  • http://www.ericpazdziora.com Eric

    In a Fundie cult I was born and raised
    In the church was where I spent most of my days
    Chillin’ out hating the truth all cool
    And all beatin’ my kids outside of school
    When a couple of thugs
    Who were up to no good
    Started burning Pearl books in my neighborhood…

    • http://outofthesilverchair.blogspot.com/ The Cult Next Door

      ROLLLLLING!!!!!!!! Oh, shizzle!

  • Amy

    Did you see the comment on FB that referred to the “workers of iniquity?” I say work on, sistah!

    • Anonymous

      LOL. No, I didn’t see that. But I think the PROPER translation is: “WorkerZ of IniquitEE!” ;-)

    • KatR

      I’m TOTALLY starting a rock band called “The Workers of Iniquity”.

  • http://www.downtoearthwomen.blogspot.com Tracey

    I don’t burn books either. But there are many that make great compost for my organic leaning flowerbeds and gardens. I suspect the books by NGJ and TTUAC are probably primo compost material since they contain so many bovine droppings on the pages……

    • Zooey

      Dandy for lining cat boxes, too. Saves money AND decreases your carbon footprint. ;-)

  • http://www.fromtracie.com From Tracie

    Good for you – having fun with the names and having a laugh! 

    That is the best thing you can do when people throw crazy all over you! 

  • Bobbi

    This is hilarious. LOVE a good satire and you penned it brilliantly!

  • http://www.tulipgirl.com TulipGirl

    Rotflol!

    I count it a badge of honor to be named by them. . . Even though the Pearls get their name calling wrong. . . Let’s see, I was called “outspoken, uniformed”, “anti-parent-rights”, “emotionally immagure and intellectually depraved”, “will destroy your home”. . .

    And that’s just from their newsletter, July 2008. . .

    You speaking up?  On national TV?  I’m surprised you didn’t get worse!  *laugh*

    I do believe that the truth of the Gospel of Jesus will shine through where the harmful, unBibical, man-centered control ideas are being promoted by Pearl and his ilk.

    • http://www.downtoearthwomen.blogspot.com Tracey

      TG- (mtwildflower here, BTW) You’re kidding! I didn’t know you got singled out by the Pearls back then!

      They said YOU were emotionally immature?   Wow!  

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ron-Kerns/100000658746013 Ron Kerns

    it’s me again….it took me a while to think of this…and, then when i did, I thought you might find it interesting…

    The Pearls…and, the spanking/punishment of babies and very, very young children for not demonstrating unquestioned and immediate “obedience”….

    I began thinking about MY life and MY childhood. I am 43…and I recently was diagnosed for Aspergers Syndrome (an Autism Spectrum Disorder)…

    What would MY childhood had been like with parents who followed the Pearl’s “book of instructions”? Of course, there was no such thing as “Aspergers” when I was a kid, but, still the “signs” were there.  I still “acted” so differently than any other kid in our family. I was certainly in my “own little world”…a word that, definitely, no “Pearl Kid” could ever be in.

    What about those kids? The ones who are “special needs” or “border-line” special needs” (but, perhaps aren’t quite old enough to exhibit enough of the symptoms to warrant a closer look)….those kids probably bear the brunt of such authoritarian abuse….as they are “Square Pegs” being forced and shoved into “Round Holes”…