Does building kids’ self-esteem increase their academic achievement? New research says no.

Posted on January 23, 2012 by elizabeth

In schools, self-esteem boosting is losing favor to rigor, fine-tuned praise.  We’ve been doling out so much empty praise in the past decade that even when kids do poorly on tests, they still feel GOOD about their performance. I think it’s important to let kids struggle. Once they’ve actually accomplished something noteworthy, then praise is true and gratifying. Here are more of my thoughts from a segment on Fox & Friends this past weekend:

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  • http://www.downtoearthwomen.blogspot.com/ Tracey

    I am SO STINKIN GLAD this is finally starting to be questioned. 

    The wussification is right! 

    Can we start getting letter grades back in the 1st grade now? 

  • Jennifer

    My daughter’s elementary school has separate grades for “achievement” (the familiar A, B, C, etc.) and “effort”(Outstanding, Good, Satisfactory, Needs Improvement) in each subject. The report card looks a bit complicated, but I think if the teachers use it effectively, it could be useful, particularly for the subset of children who try hard but just don’t “get” the material as quickly. It would be interesting, as well, to see if any teacher would have the courage to give a bright kid an “A” for acheivement and an S or “Needs Improvement” for effort.The one report card she’s gotten this year has corresponding letter grades and effort grades, so in theory the message to her is effort begets achievment.

  • Sharon O

    I do believe in praise and I also believe in positive talk. We do need logical consequences and reality. Self esteem is powerful and I always remember wounded people wound others, so if I am not healed from my own ‘issues’ I have the potential to wound others including my children.
    It was fun to see you in video.

    • Anonymous

      This is a great point and I agree that we have to be careful about not transferring our own pain to our children. However, I still believe praise should be given truthfully and authentically for a job well done.

    • Anonymous

      Another thought: there is a difference between praise and appreciation. Appreciating a human being for who they ARE and making sure they know that is super important. I can do that by showing my children unconditional love. But that doesn’t mean I dole out false praise and flattery.

  • Sarfisch

    I agree with you EE! 

    I strive to build my daughter’s self-esteem so that she is strong enough to deal with the the forces in the “real world” that don’t give an A for effort.  (If only I recieved my annual bonus and salary increase based on my effort…)

  • Nina

    Haha, this reminds me of something someone said waaaay back in the day when the NYC school system had the brilliant notion that, since so many kids were toting guns to school, gun safety lessons would be just the thing. The school system was also promoting “self-esteem” classes and, of course, sex education classes. I wish I could remember who said this, but all I can remember is what they said: “Great! Now we’ll have an entire population of overly-confident, under skilled kids who know how to do only two things — shoot and f@&k.”  They were right.

  • http://somewiseguy.com ThatGuyKC

    You mean celebrating mediocrity doesn’t foster excellence? Who knew?

    Hehe.

  • Alison

    You looked so pretty in the video! So pretty, and clever, well-thought out, and well spoken too. Bingo! (The pretty bit is so irrelevant to the subject, but it was the first thing I noticed while waiting for you to begin to speak – and I was thinking you might love to hear it).

    Alison

    • Anonymous

      Oh, thank you so much. Fox hired a wonderful makeup artist to do my makeup that morning. I give total kudos to her!!

      • Alison

        Hmmm… nah, disagree. She might have polished you up a bit, but it’s the way you smile, the sparkly eyes, the joy coming out of the middle of you that makes you pretty. Nice try to sidestep the compliment, but no go, Lady!

        My best wishes to you from Switzerland,
        Alison

  • LizzyZ

    You did such a great job in the segment! And I agree with Alison, the first thing I thought was how pretty you looked!

    One thing that occurred to me while listening is that God loves and appreciates us as his children and is constantly telling us how he loves us no matter what we do (boosting self-esteem?) yet continues to teach us how to demonstrate our love for him in return with blessings and results for learning faith, standing firm through tests and trials, etc. Not sure how far you can take the analogy since it just occurred to me and I’m still working it out in my head but I see a connection here.

  • Anise

    Much as I love your blog, I have to say something harsh.
    What I have experienced and seen is the opposite problem:
    Academically, I do well- straight-A student, top scores, etc., which may look attractive, but what people do not realize is that I feel worthless if I don’t get the best grades in my classes. I can’t remember my parents ever praising me without putting a “but” on it (which even then wasn’t often) because what I did was not good enough for them. I could never be good enough. I still struggle with terrible self-esteem, and being convinced that I am worthless got me into an abusive relationship, and I am going to carry those scars for the rest of my life.
    I see the same trends in my younger brother, in friends, in other people exposed to legalistic ideas.

    Please, please consider the age of children. If they do something great for their age and ability, do praise and encourage them. Encouraging them may even help them stick at it rather than give up!

  • Amy Scott

    I was waiting for you to say, “If everyone is special, then nobody is.” Good job on your feedback. You prepped well.