Dear Adderall, let’s make out

Posted on September 10, 2012 by elizabeth

I know this sounds totally forward. Because hey, I just met you and this is crrrazy but here’s my pharmacy number, so call me maybe. Actually, screw maybe. Let’s make this official, baby.

Adderall, you just saved my life. Imma marry you.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

  1. You make my brain go “ahhh.”
  2. Which is far better than my brain screaming: WTF IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW???! (which is pretty much how my brain acted all summer before it met you).
  3. You’re easy like Sunday morning even at 3:30pm on a school afternoon.
  4. You remind me of things I would have otherwise forgotten.
  5. Like: that dental appointment this morning. (Side bar: I never really minded forgetting about dentist appointments except now, apparently, I can’t forget things if I try so thanks for that, I guess).
  6. I was on time today without even trying.
  7. Well, OK. I tried a little bit. But basically, I was all: check it, world! I’m all punctual and shit and I didn’t even break a sweat, yo.
  8. Because, frankly, we ALL know the difference between sweat-equity and inherited-equity. I got to feel all inherit-y, today. Like my brain was just BORN this way.
  9. It was almost as good as feeling like I was a Kardashian.
  10. Wait. WHAT?
  11. You know, like I was famous just for being famous?
  12. Like I didn’t have to earn my fame? I didn’t have to do anything at all except just walk around with this fully functioning brain and be all: why, yes, I did remember to show up for my dental appointment. ON TIME, bitchez! Somebody snap my pick-cha!
  13. YEAH, ADDERALL. You make me feel that way.
  14. Also, I didn’t have to drink Diet Coke today.
  15. And I only had one teensy-weensy pup o’ coffee.
  16. Which is far better than my usual 500 lb. BOWL of coffee, followed by a GALLON of iced-tea followed by a Diet Coke. Followed by more tea.
  17. Followed by 8 million trips to the loo.
  18. OMG. I just said loo.
  19. Look, Adderall! You’re even making me all proper British!
  20. Next thing you know I’ll be saying queue instead of line and biscuit instead of cookie.
  21. Beloved Adderall, do you think you could also take away my wrinkles?
  22. Thank you ever so much.
  23. Gratefully yours,
  24. EE.

after my insurance company dropped coverage of my ADD meds earlier this summer (Focalin XR), I finally figured out a way to get 4 annual visits to a psychiatrist and my HMO agreed to pay for a portion of Adderall. my brain! it feels normal-ish again! also? I don’t have any cavities! Yay, flossing.

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  • http://twitter.com/lilysea Shannon LC Cate

    Wow. Now I feel kinda guilty for not getting my kid these meds. Do you think they would make her this happy?

  • Lauren

    I feel the same way about my meds. :) Go us!

  • http://charityjilldenmark.wordpress.com/ Charity Jill Denmark

    Tee hee, this made me happy for you and for me because I got to read it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ann-Nienow-Bowen/1269278808 Ann Nienow Bowen

    My oldest was on Dexedrine for 6 years. It made such a difference in his behavior and his life. People would say but but it’s an amphetamine, it’s a DRUG. It worked and I thanked God. My mantra is and always will be; better living through chemistry and pharmaceuticals.

  • http://www.heretichusband.com/ Heretic Husband

    I’m in a three-way relationship between myself, my wife, and my Prozac.

  • Jennie

    It’s amazing that a stimulant could calm the ADD mind enough for it to hone in on what needs to be done—but it does! That was all the convincing I needed for my sons, who BTW were not hyperactive. They started creating masterpieces with Legos and drawing intricately.

  • http://somewiseguy.com/ ThatGuyKC

    HAHA!! Yay for drugs. Glad it’s making a difference.

  • Shelley

    Made my day!

  • Christine Collins

    funny you wrote this when you did. i have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and was prescribed wellbutrin. I’ve been on it for 5 weeks and i think it’s made me worse! i am more anxious and fidgety now than i’ve ever been, granted i can remember things. HA! i don’t think i could get a prescription for Adderall though because the risks of it being abused. did you simply ASK your doc for it or did they suggest you take it? am please talk more about your ADD, i can use the info/support.
    Ps, im a lurker. but thank you for your blog!!!! Love your words, your transparency, and your heart!

  • Lucie

    So glad you were able to work this out with your insurance company and that it is working so well for you.

  • Verity3

    Some people say Zoloft makes it harder to feel their emotions. The only emotions I feel out of touch with these days are irrational fear and false guilt. Wheeeee!!!!!

  • Ami

    Just so you know, I’m now singing, “Easy like Sunday Morning” in my head. I’m so glad you feel better. In fact, you should be better more often- it’s lots of fun for us readers.