I’m an extrovert! No, I’m an introvert! NO, I’M AN EXTROVERT! Wait. Why am I talking to myself?

Posted on October 22, 2012 by elizabeth

Busting some awkward awesome dance moves

So, this is embarrassing. Remember I told you that maybe I was an introvert?

Well, now I feel like my old self again. Which is to say, a very definitive extrovert. I’ve had multiple people tell me I’m back to being Elizabeth Esther again. The real EE has please stood up. Wow, grammar check!

Still, I’m confused. Am I really extroverted?

The only clue I have right is that when I wrote my introvert post this past July, I was in the throes of major sadness because my marriage was hurting PLUS I was trying to write my book PLUS I was off my ADD meds.

I’m thinking everyone feels like an introvert when all they want to do is hide under the covers all day.

I mean, my sister came out here to visit me and I was so depressed about my marriage that I was wandering around in a fog, totally detached but trying to pretend like I was keeping it all together.

Now, here’s a nugget of troof: you can fool yourself but you can’t fool your sister.

About three days into her visit she sat me down and was like: “WHAT is wrong?? WHAT is going on, here?”

And I was all: “Nothing. I’m writing a book.”

And she laughed. “Yeah, I know. But something else is wrong. WTF is going on HERE?!”

And I was all: “Nothing. I’m internally processing.”

And she was all: “Shut up, you’ve never internally processed a day in your life. Now, tell me the truth.”

So, I told her. I processed verbally. I vomited out all my words and she listened. When I was done I felt like a huge weight was off my shoulders.

“OK, so what’s your plan?” she asked.

“Plan? Plaaaaaann? Palin?”

“Your plan. You need a plan. What are you going TO DO about this?”

“Dunno. Wait until it gets better?”

“How has that worked for you in the last 15 years?”

“Oh. Heh. I guess I need…a plan?”

Then my sister set about saving my life by putting together a 3-point plan complete with if-thens and what-fors and thou-shalts.

As the scatterbrained ENFP that I am, I was beyond thankful. I can’t create structures or plans or budgets. But if someone is kind enough to give me a track to run on…well, let’s just say I’m choo-chooing along, full speed ahead!

Last week my sister called me and she was like: “Wow, you sound so much better.”

“I feel so much better.”

Here’s proof: I’m all about the social stuff again. I’ve gone to parties on two consecutive weekends. I danced at a wedding. I’m traveling to Pennsylvania this week to speak at a conference. And I don’t feel exhausted from any of my past social engagements and I don’t feel worried about my future ones.

I’m living my true, extroverted self again and I feel so much better.

So maybe I’m only an introvert when I’m depressed?

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  • Margaret

    hahaha–have to love sisters. or those friends who act like sisters for those of us who don’t have any…

  • http://www.lovewellblog.com/ Kelly @ Love Well

    You’re an ENFP, right? I learned a lot about myself when a good friend told me ENFPs are often described as the most introverted of extroverts. Meaning, we need more time alone to process and sort internally than many other extroverts. But we still get our energy from being with other people.

    Does that resonate at all with you?

    (Funny thing: When I realized this, and I talked to my INTJ husband, we found that his type is often described as the most extroverted of introverts. Fascinating!)

  • Robyn

    As a significant introvert, I know that I am have more energy to interact with people when I’m physically healthy and taking care of my inner introvert. I love spending time with people, in balance.
    I’ve never really thought of the reverse– that extroverts may be their best extroverted selves when they are in balance in their own ways.

  • http://somewiseguy.com/ ThatGuyKC

    Haha! Love this. Depression, ADD and tough chapters in life can all contribute to interesting manifestations in our personality.

    I do know that awesome friends and family who love us enough to help us out of the “funk” are worth their weight in gold.

    I also know Satan wants us to be isolated and to feel trapped and alone. God bless your sister.

    Life is complicated and messy, but God loves you and He is BIG on hugs.

  • http://faithandfood.morizot.net/ Scott Morizot

    Couldn’t really tell you since the technical definition of introvert/extrovert depends on something internal and not externally visible. Neither should be confused with being depressed, which is something else entirely. Nor should it be confused with the inattentiveness that comes with ADHD. Neither introverts nor extroverts necessarily equate to “scatter-brained.”

    Do you gain energy from social interaction and settings. In other words, does a party, a convention, or something similar “recharge your batteries?” Or does it drain them? That’s really the distinction between introvert and extrovert. It’s also possible to be near the border between the two and not clearly one or the other. In that case, circumstances can tip you one way or another.

    And really? ENFP and INFP personality types aren’t all *that* different from each other. Perhaps you straddle them both.

    • brian

      Does social interaction “recharge your batteries?” Or does it drain them?

      bingo! introverts can have great social skills and be lots of fun at parties but they need time alone to recharge. extroverts can have social phobias. its all about what kind of gas your personality runs on, and all of us are some combination of the two.

  • http://felicemifa.wordpress.com/ Margaret_at_FeliceMiFa

    We are so often thinking about the same things at the same time! I am definitely an extrovert; I very obviously get my energy from interactions with other people. But the reality of self-care is that I need lots of time to myself as well. That increases this time of year when the October blues creep in.

  • brian

    adderall is kind of like extroversion in a bottle :-) wandering around in a detached fog sounds exactly like adderall withdrawal. there is a reason they taper that stuff down! its always disorienting to see how radically my perspective on things nosedives when i don’t take my meds. as painful as marriage struggles can be, i have complete confidence in your ability to navigate them when you take good care of yourself. you deserve to be treated well, especially by you!

  • Olivia G Sanders

    “Shut up, you’ve never internally processed a day in your life.” Hahaha TRUE STORY (speaking for myself here)

    “I can’t create structures or plans or budgets.”
    As another ENFP, let me just say… I FEEL YOU. and I act like an introvert when I am exhausted (physically and/or emotionally). I can be just plain anti-social when I try to burn the candle at both ends. Which it sounds like you were doing!