If I go missing, come look for me in 1984.

EE at age 5

I don’t know how people write books and blogs simultaneously. I really wish I had that kind of superpower. But I don’t. I can’t even write a blog post right now. My whole entire self is stuck in 1984. At least you know where to find me. I’ll be the kid freaking out that the Rapture happened and she was left behind. Today I took a drive to my hometown and looked at all my old childhood houses. I went to the park where my Dad told me our secret family password–the one that I was supposed to use in case the Anti-Christ arrested he and my mom. Oops, I’m giving the book away. See? I can’t write books and blogs simultaneously. The upside of visiting my hometown? I remembered everything correctly. The downside? I remembered everything correctly. I’ve forgotten how to use paragraphs. I keep forgetting to eat. I’ve never felt so cold in all my life. I feel like I’m bleeding myself all over the pages I write. This is good news, I promise. Look, I’ll even start a new paragraph.

This book I am writing? Oh, it’s very good. It’s pretty much my best writing ever. You will be glad I’m not blogging. Hell, I’m glad I’m not blogging. I just wrote hell. I really am gonna get left behind at the Rapture. I just wrote a blog post. I must have superpowers. No, I don’t. I just wanted you to know I’m still here. I’m writing you a very good book. Yes, you. Because I love you, don’t you know? I hope you love me, too. Goodnight, beloveds. Wait for me, k? xo. EE.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1481777144 Joy M. Newcom

    I get it. I’m glad for you. Your pain is now shaped by purpose. I’m glad you found a way to touch base – here and back in hell’s home.

  • http://twitter.com/AdeleChapman2 Adele Chapman

    Oh we sure do love you too. Can’t wait to read your wonderful book; although I’m also a little scared!

  • Patricia

    Thanks for letting us know that’s you’re ok! I’m really glad to hear it. :)

  • Judy Webb

    We do love you. Happy writing today dear Elizabeth!

  • http://stitchinguptheseams.wordpress.com/ Stitching Seams

    “The upside of visiting my hometown? I remembered everything correctly. The downside? I remembered everything correctly.” That’s been my life for the past couple of weeks, also. I keep remembering (if that’s the right word) horrible things from my childhood, a childhood that I usually think wasn’t horrible. Things like being touched while naked and terrified as a 3-year-old, or playing “rape” with my dolls except for the one doll that I protected. My husband recently found that doll for me, and on the one hand I’m happy to have her back and I just rocked her and sobbed for relief, but on the other hand it means that at least some of my memories are actually memories, and I just really don’t want them to be.

    • Nancy

      Internet friend, I hope you’re not trying to do this alone . . . start calling therapists that specialize in trauma and abuse, or sexual assault crisis centers, or google “Restoring the Heart” and see if there’s a group/class near you. Grace & peace to you as you wrestle with a painful past . . . <3

  • Tara S

    You’re so sweet! See you on the other side, yo. :-)

  • Lucie

    Missing your blog, but understand, and am looking forward to your book. Hope you’ll be autographing copies! And maybe visiting Florida on a book tour!

  • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

    Yes on– loved… and yes on– waitin’ for ya :)

    I can’t even write a blog post (which is what I’m supposed to be doing right now)…and add to any of your “witty, urbane conversation” (not enough coffee yet & too much 1:56-am-stomach-bug-virus-with-child-#3) so just quickly stopping in to say hi, praying for you, keep writing, and don’t give up paragraphs-pauses-and-coming-up-for-air.

    You are so loved…by us, but even better…by Him.

    P.S. I might read the Josh Riebock book…that line– “few things are as frightening as depth”. So true. It’s that scary-good.

  • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

    Of course we’ll wait…and thanks for the post! :)

  • John

    Remember the famous quote “Writing is easy; you just open a vein and bleed.” http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/09/14/writing-bleed/

    Also remember that your work nourishes us.

  • Maggie

    I’m very much looking forward to reading your book! The rapture comment? I can relate. Glad to have that life behind me!

  • Sarah

    YOU GO GIRL!!!!! :)

  • Aprille

    I can’t wait to read your book!

  • http://GrittyGrace.com Martha Brady

    if your bloody is on the pages, i’m sure it will be a great book. while i was reading this, the following benediction came to mind for you as you write. (Hebrews 13:20-21)

    Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, 21 equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

    i especially love the visual of the Shepherd guarding you and protecting you as well as providing salve for your pain.

    i also loved the concept of the “eternal covenant” that includes His never leaving or forsaking you during very dark times.

    and of course, His equipping of you to do communicate what is important. It is one of many benedictions that I love. just tho’t that one was especially meaningful for now. with love and prayers.