So, I guess I should write about sex more often?

Posted on January 29, 2013 by elizabeth

Yesterday was the biggest traffic day on my blog. Ever. The comments, though, were my favorite. I read every single one. I cried. I laughed. My heart broke all over my laptop. I just want to thank you for sharing your stories with me. I’ve never had so many women send me emails and tweets and messages saying thankyouthankyou and “I want to hug you!” Here’s what I learned yesterday: so many of us are just dying to talk about sex & faith in an open, honest, non-shamey, loving, accepting way. We can do this. I know we can. Let’s keep this conversation going. As an excellent followup, please read Sarah Bessey’s piece on Deeper Story today: I am damaged goods.

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  • Alexandra Ramirez

    Yesterday’s post really got me thinking. So many different issues all wrapped up in the whole sex/virginity/purity issue. As I read through the comments, so many people had been hurt in this area, though they came from so many different backgrounds! We definitely need to talk about this more. There is hardly ANYTHING (book, talks, etc.) that addresses female sexuality in an open, realistic, non-shameful way, from a Christian (be it Catholic or Evangelical) point of view. Thanks for being willing to start the conversation.

  • Handsfull

    I read (and loved) your post, and have also read Sarah’s. And all the comments. That’s a lot of reading, lol!
    I’m loving this conversation, as I have a 9yr old daughter and have just started this conversation with her. I’m trying the best I can to be open and honest with her… to this point the spiritual part of sexuality hasn’t come into it. I’m following her lead – if she brings up a subject I’m happy (after taking a deep breath!) to talk about it.
    What I’m also really interested in is the male perspective on all this. What is their take on the purity messages that are delivered, how does it affect them, has it messed with them like it has so obviously messed with women?
    And why, why, WHY are women considered responsible for losing their purity/virginity? Why are men not held accountable for their actions in this regard, when women are held accountable for mens actions? Apparently male virginity is not valuable, only female?

    I have 3 young sons, and really want some help in raising them to be men who are ‘marked by grace’ as Sarah said, not self-righteous, hypocritical sleaze-bags who will take what they can get and then blame the person they take from.
    Thank you, EE – I can always count on you to give me something to think about!

  • http://www.wideopenground.com/ Lana

    Right, its a message not just in the Christian culture but in society as well. In Asia where I live, the bride price is higher on virgins.

  • Aprille

    I really loved both yours and Sarah’s posts. I related to them both in so many ways… here’s my “purity culture” story: http://beautifulinhistime.com/2013/01/07/the-myth-of-the-construction-paper-heart/