Well, Miley Cyrus. How predictable of you.

Aaaand cue outrage. Shock. Horror. Pearl-clutching. If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that Miley Cyrus’ performance at the VMAs last night was shocking. Oops. I mean. Predictable.

Seriously. Can we all stop pretending to be surprised now? Can we quit with the breathless reporting that even Miley’s team is “freaking out”  about her VMA performance last night? Because riiiiiight. I’m sure her team is just shocked.

Probably about as SHOCKED as discovering that lyrics like: “trying to get a line in the bathroom” are NOT about a long line to use the toilet. What? WHO KNEW?!

Here’s the truth: Miley Cyrus doesn’t care what you think. She doesn’t care that you’re outraged, disgusted, offended and horrified. In fact, she likes having “haters.” It motivates her.

Miley Cyrus set out to shock everyone and she succeeded. The only surprise, here, is that the adults are asking stupid questions like: “How did this happen?”

Everyone knows how this happened. It’s not like her song “We Can’t Stop” is subtle or nuanced. It’s not like it’s some hidden mystery of the universe that  Miley is singing about doing drugs. Of COURSE she is.

It’s been obvious for awhile that Miley is going off the rails…er, I mean: GROWING UP. Shaking one’s ass on national TV is, after-all, the time-honored way for former Disney stars to shed their squeaky-clean image and take ARTISTIC CONTROL of their careers. And by artistic control I mean: rocking the stripper pole. Or, in Miley’s case, the foam finger.

I don’t know about you but when I saw Miley’s performance, I couldn’t even twerk-up the energy to get outraged. I just felt sorta sad for her because her whole deal seems stupid and derivative and annoying as hell.

The only shocking thing, to me, is that anybody is watching her at all.

  • Liz Finch

    THANK YOU. That’s exactly what I wanted to say. EXACTLY.

  • JennaDeWitt

    Agreed.

  • KatR

    Also, can the people who are JUST SHOCKED over this kind of stuff stop watching the VMAs? It’s going to be naked, twerking, bumping, grinding people who are trying to out-strip, out-twerk, out-bump and out-grind the people from the year before. DC Talk is not going to make a guest appearance. Kirk Cameron is not going to show up with a surprise clip from “Fireproof: We’re More Married Than You”. IT’S NOT HAPPENING PEOPLE.

    • http://hyattregency.wordpress.com/ Sarah

      “Fireproof: We’re More Married Than You” just made my day so much better.

  • Rebecca Erwin

    I feel pity for her. It is unfortunate that anyone is giving her the time of day to validate her. So tired of the gladiatorial voyeuristic demise of people.

    I will now go dance through some flowers.

  • Becky Laparra

    I wasn’t as much shocked as nauseated. What point in your life do you have to get to when you think that is *it*?

  • http://www.lambpower.com/ Steve Dawson

    To be said in the voice of Claude Rains “I’m shocked, SHOCKED that Miley danced like that”

    Miley, like other younger female stars (think Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears) seem to lack any adult guidance.

  • http://devinrose.heroicvirtuecreations.com/blog/ Devin Rose

    Agreed. I didn’t watch, nor will I ever, but just reading about it was enough to know that it was more of the same sad stuff. I feel bad for her, since she doesn’t know her true worth and dignity, and for her parents, who either failed to communicate her worth to her or did so but she didn’t listen.

  • colleen

    i just felt very embarrassed for her. how many of us remember stupid stuff we did because we thought we were being cool and edgy–even little things–and we realize now it was so, SO desperately pitiful! but we didn’t have millions of people paying millions of dollars to see–to *encourage*–us to do it. it’s going to be a painful thing for her to look back on, for so many reasons! or at least, i hope it will be. praying she stays safe…

  • Amanda

    I don’t understand why any parent would encourage their kid to become a celebrity at such a young age. If you peek at 16 then it’s only downhill from there and it’s hard when you’re that young to realize that your life actually isn’t over and your value isn’t actually determined by record sales.

  • Stacia R

    I did roll my eyes, because while, yes, all the other Disney stars go through this phase, theirs have been PHASES. They went crazy for a year or two before shrinking back to figure themselves out. She’s been doing this for four years and shows no sign of stopping.

  • Lotte

    I think it was just a very sad performance. And awkward. Not outrageous or shocking. Just sad.

  • Sarah

    Even though Miley said it herself, I don’t think she actually enjoys having haters. I would argue that no one truly likes having people hate them, and that the reason people say that they do is to help ease their insecurities. Elizabeth, you pointed this out and it is true, so many Disney stars do this. And that makes so much sense! They are trying to break away from what Disney is associated with, innocence, which in today’s world, isn’t cool. It really reminds me of what some kids raised in very conservative families end up doing. When I went through my “I need to do shockingly bad things to myself and others” stage, it wasn’t because I wanted people to hate me! It had more to do with needing people to love me, and I didn’t think that a dorky, innocent, homeschool girl from a conservative cult church was lovable. Maybe Miley Cyrus is just trying to feel loved and cared about. I hope she can find happiness and security and I wish her all the best in that endeavor. Trash-talking Miley Cyrus was all over my newsfeed today, more than what is going on in Syria. To me, that is the saddest part of this all.

    • Kristen Rosser

      Agree. I see it as a symptom of the misogyny of our culture, that we are so critically focused on the behavior, looks, etc., of celebrity women, when we let celebrity men get away with so much more.

  • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

    “I couldn’t even twerk-up the energy to get outraged.” You went there. And now I’m dying. :)

  • HippieGramma

    If we’re outraged at all, it should be with an entertainment culture and fame-hungry parents who exploit children for dollars and never give them a chance to grow up the slightest well-adjusted. Miley just makes me feel sad.

  • http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com/ priest’s wife

    I saw some clips of the ‘song’ on youtube….as a semi-health-nut-type person….I hope her people get her a doctor’s appt- a white tongue can be signs of certain health problems (yuck)

  • http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com/ priest’s wife

    my mom has been friends with Amanda Bynes’ mother since they were 4….it is hard to see a mom visiting her daughter in a mental health facility…celebrity kills

  • Erin Kirk

    Hi Elizabeth. Thanks for saying what I meant about Miley. I referenced your comments on my blog this morning. http://wp.me/p2CMUa-117

  • Alex

    I am so sick of this. Who cares. Who cares what Miley Cyrus is doing? She will one day grow up for real and realize what a fool she’s been.

    But no one, NO ONE is talking about Syria. About the children laying side by side, sleeping endlessly, who will never grow up. I am horrified by it. By the fact that their own government could do this to its people. That such evil can live in the hearts of men.

    To me, that is shocking. And conversation worthy.

    • Nicole B.

      Very true. But being outraged over a very stupid performance is so much easier than looking at the Syria situation. I have several Syria articles open on my browser and it’s hard to face them. The terrible sadness and loss of life and the “what to do about it?” question. Another war? I don’t mean to start a thread on it here, it’s just you can see why it’s so much easier to read about the VMAs and say, “MILEY…TERRIBLE…WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?” Because, I honestly don’t care about a rich girl giving a laughably bad performance to try to shake her good-girl image.

    • Lana

      Thank you for saying this. Bless you for remembering the innocent in Syria even though I think the conversation about sexism and racism is important too.

  • herewegokids

    I remember when… Billy Ray signed off on the Vanity Fair photo shoot…and it was pretty skeevy the shots w/ the 2 of them together….nope, not shocking. Just the logical end of many decisions.

  • UK Girl

    It is not a phase she is going through; it is part of the Disney Plan! Please, open your eyes and look at it as we see it from across the pond. They hook your kids when they are young with wholesome child actors and then corrupt them through the perversion of those actors/singers later on. They do this in cycles to catch each generation or half generation of our children. Miley Cyrus is doing exactly what she has been told to do and is being paid to do. They will chew her up and spit her out because she is nothing more than an object to be used in order to further the corruption of our youth.
    Please find me evidence that I am wrong about this….

    • KristinC

      Pretty sure the onus in on you to prove your outrageous claims. There is no vast Disney conspiracy to corrupt the youth of America just because. I’m not by any means defending or sympathizing with Disney (I’ve got my own problems with them), but there is no evidence that Disney is still pulling Miley Cyrus’ strings. Ridiculous.

    • KatR

      While I love a crazy conspiracy theory as much as the next nut, I promise you Disney is not happy about Miley’s recent turn. Mom & Dad aren’t going to shell out for Hannah Montana: The Movie on Blu-Ray now.

  • ann marie

    I felt bad for Miley the other night. I went to college in the late 80′s and early 90′s, way before social media. Thank God! I was such an ass when I was younger. I drank and slept around and made a complete fool of myself. I smoked and cussed and acted crudely when I was around friends. but there is , to my knowledge, no record of it. I feel bad that kids today have to grow up with so much recording of their stupidity. I know they don’t have to make a record of everything and not all young people act so foolishly, but many do and I hope there isn’t too much regret in later years. I watched and admit I was hiding under a blanket because I was embarrassed for her, but no, it wasn’t shocking given the lyrics and the fact that it’s MTV.

  • Kreine

    Didn’t watch. Wondered why teh Internez were all “OMG! Miley Cyrus! Oh noessssss!” today.

    Also, twerking? I had to look it up. Guess I’ll go crawl back under my rock, now.

  • Jawan

    I do think it’s good to read responses from a Biblical worldview so I appreciate articles that attack the motives of the heart.