Why Summer Break should be ABOLISHED! {a desperate missive from behind the locked bathroom door!}

We’ve reached that point in the summer where all the trips have all been taken, the crafts crafted, the sunburns burned, the camps camped, the library trips all tripped out and now the mothers are going cross-eyed from providing 24/7 entertainment. I mean, “educational activities.” I mean, ACADEMIC ENRICHMENT.

During this last month of Summer Break, our children are lying around like fattened sloths, one hand in a huge bag of chips, feet propped up on the couch, staring with glazed-over eyes at a re-run of Sponge Bob.

And the mothers have locked themselves in the bathroom with the new Civil Wars album and US Weekly. Well, I’m not being entirely honest, here. I’ve locked myself in the bathroom with my laptop and noise-canceling headphones. Same-same.

I have a good excuse. I have WORDS that must be shed abroad in the hearts of the US Education System; mainly, it’s about damn time we abolish this stupid thing called Summer Break. Of course, I’m ONLY saying this for my children’s sake. I would never suggest this because *I* need them to go back to school–heh-heh, what sort of mother would do that?

The point is, this whole summer break thing needs to stop. Children don’t need breaks. Mothers do. Children should work year-round. You know, to prepare them for this thing we call Adult Life. Summer break used to be about work, anyway. Harvesting crops. Baling hay. Sifting the wheat from the chaff, or so I’ve heard. Back in the day, children weren’t taking summer breaks to lollygag around the house whining for MORE GO-GURTS! but taking summer break to work their asses off on the family farm.

So, if we’re not going to abolish summer break, we should at least re-institute the family farm. But wait, no. This reminds me. Last year we had the “Brilliant Idea” of letting go of our gardener because: TEACH THE BOYS HOW TO MOW THE LAWN. Even better, we got a push mower. Because HARD WORK!

And now my yard looks like it belongs to Miss Havisham. I like to call it “Crunchy.” Or eco-friendly. Or “Wild California.”

But I digress.

Let me put it this way: NOTHING GOOD is happening on Summer Break after August 1st. This last month of summer is simply unfettered, full-on, unapologetic, indulgent gluttony and laziness. Our children MUST learn! They MUST work! NO MORE SUMMER BREAK because Mama has a stack of US Weekly’s to read.

 

  • jean_e_lane

    So glad my children are grown! But then when they were young, I had to work, therefore daycare and after-school care! Year-round! If not for that, they would never have learned to swim.

  • http://ThatGuyKC.com/ ThatGuyKC

    As a husband of a teacher (and mom) I do not approve this message. :)

    Although, I’m tracking w/ you on the whole original purpose being about work.

  • http://beautifulinhistime.com/ Aprille {beautifulinhistime.co

    you need to move to Kentucky – they started school August 1st!

  • http://www.janaleemiller.com/ Jana @333 Days of….

    Year round school! I work in Irvine and we started on July 29th :) Our first break is at the end of Sept. I actually homeschooled my own children and once they detox-it gets much better-I promise.

  • Renee

    SOOOOO glad I’m not the only one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) This was exactly what I needed today!

  • Anne Caldwell

    Thanks for writing this. It’s almost time for “the most wonderful time of the year” and it ain’t Christmas! ;) Soooo many mummy (sorry, I’m Canadian!) blogs aren’t “real” about this, and I end up feeling like I don’t like/love my kids as much as “I should” for feeling at the end of my rope this time of year.

  • Pip

    “Back in the day, children weren’t taking summer breaks to lollygag around the house whining for MORE GO-GURTS! but taking summer break to work their asses off on the family farm.” Maybe the funniest line I’ve read all summer. Tears of laughter over here.

  • Heather Kopp

    LOVE, LOVE THIS. Boy it brings back memories. And I confess I almost wrote “bad” memories. :) You rocked this one, E.

    • elizabethesther

      Thanks, Heather! :) Loved your line on FB: “We’re all Baptists this week, kids!” lolol. ((hugs))

  • Maggie

    You can take my summer break when you pry it out of my cold dead hands. I’m holding onto summer with my fingernails at this point. I am not looking forward to the endless volunteer and fundraising requests, homework, homework whining, getting up at O dark thirty, meetings, and more forced socialization than this introvert can handle. The day my youngest graduates I’m going to have a stiff drink and a good cry. Free from school at last!

    Although, having my kids work their asses off on my little suburban farm sounds appealing. :-)

  • Marie

    We have year-round school here (along with traditional options). We have one week off between school years, and scattered throughout the school year are 2-3 week breaks.

  • http://GrittyGrace.com Martha Brady

    i was going to say, i think summer break is for the teachers:) haha! that’s what my parents were and the 3 of us who grew up together with them swore we would NEVER be teachers…so out of our group we got 2 nurses and a pilot!