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Popular Posts
- Elizabeth Smart & the life-threatening danger of shame-based purity culture
- Who is Elizabeth Esther?
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- I was spanked as a child and I turned out ok. Didn't I?
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Category Archives: Funny Kid Stories
Five year old theology
We are driving home from dropping Jewel at ballet practice. “Mama, I have something to say,” Jorie says. “What is it?” “I know a lot of things about God.” “Oh, yeah? What do you know about God?” “I know God … Continue reading →
The way these guidelines are going, Mama’s gonna need a carseat!
[NOTE: this post is not serious. I DO advocate car seat use. Please don't endanger your children's lives by taking my smart ass humor seriously. Thank you. Carry on.] Has the whole car seat thing gotten a little out of … Continue reading →
Earning her way…and her pointe shoes
I told her it wouldn’t be easy, that even when we love something passionately, we must still work hard for it. And she agreed. She practiced at home, stretching and doing exercises on the floor and in the hallway, using … Continue reading →
Wonderboobs
I have a complicated relationship with my boobs. For one thing, they arrived late and I’m nothing if not punctual. I detest, abhor, and refudiate being late: I am particularly persnickety about chronically late people, late planes, late checks and … Continue reading →
How being an at-home mom isn’t always the best for kids (or moms)
I am a stay-at-home mom. I used to think I made this choice because it was "best" for my children. I'm beginning to realize that even having the option to make this choice was nothing short of privilege. Let's make … Continue reading →
Make Snuggle Not War
I'm a snuggler. It calms my brain. Also, it keeps me warm. However, some people don't like snugglers. We snugglers are often misunderstood. This is how you can identify an Anti-Snuggler: "It's hot! Get off of me!" or "Don't cross … Continue reading →
Phantom Baby
The other night I was jolted awake by Something Sinister breathing near my face. I sprang from the bed doing my best battle-ready, Kung Fu kick. HI-YA! What wanna-be axe murderers don't know is that I actually suck at Kung-Fu. … Continue reading →
ISN’T IT TIME FOR SCHOOL YET????
In retrospect, not packing my summer schedule with scheduled activities was my stupidest idea ever. Not having scheduled activities means that I've had to come up with new ideas every fifteen minutes. NEWSFLASH: I'm out of ideas. Worse, I feel … Continue reading →
When life hands you barf, make barfanade (oh, wait. no. that doesn’t work. ew.)
OK, fine. When life hands you barf, put on your kids' dress-up clothes and entertain the sickies by doing "I'm a Little Tea-Pot." As a rap. In fact, you can just call me Li'l Tea Pot. I am short and … Continue reading →
Binding up the bwoken hearted
It was a grisly crime scene. Clumps of butchered hair, amputated limbs and the weapon: a pair of kindergarten scissors, all stuffed under my son's bed. It was a game that had seemed funny at first. My son and a neighbor … Continue reading →
