Category Archives: RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous

Friendships Inside a High-Demand/Cultish Group

Posted on March 13, 2011 by elizabeth

In the last few years, I have slowly built a small group of friends. I have made many mistakes in friendship: I am often wary of people’s motives (which comes across as judgmental), I assume future rejection and often disappear … Continue reading →

Posted in Cults, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist, Religion | 36 Comments

You can take the person out the cult, but you can’t take the cult out of the person

Posted on January 30, 2011 by elizabeth

They have to do that themselves. And from what I’ve noticed, many of them don’t. The reality is, recovering from a spiritually abusive church takes time and effort. It is hard work. The individual must be dedicated and willing to … Continue reading →

Posted in Cults, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist, Religion | 24 Comments

Detachment: finding my way to God by not finding {a reflection on T.S. Eliot’s “Ash Wednesday”}

Posted on January 28, 2011 by elizabeth

I’m in a strange place. Which is to say, I’m in a place I’ve never been before, a place I do not recognize. If I could name it, I would, perhaps, call it: acceptance. A non-judgmental acquiescence to what is. … Continue reading →

Posted in Faith, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist, Religion | 13 Comments

Why we left Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa

Posted on January 22, 2011 by elizabeth

Several readers have asked me why we left Calvary Chapel several years ago. This was a difficult post to write since I hold a warm, affectionate debt of gratitude to this church which was, for a few years, a place … Continue reading →

Posted in Faith, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist, Religion | 116 Comments

On not going to church and making soup instead

Posted on January 16, 2011 by elizabeth

Since I can’t go to church anymore, I’ve settled into a new Sunday morning routine. I help get the children dressed and out the door with their dad (they love church–and I’m happy to support them) and then I pour … Continue reading →

Posted in Faith, Food and Drink, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist, Religion | 19 Comments

Burning out for Jesus and Little League

Posted on January 7, 2011 by elizabeth

The curse/blessing of surviving a high-demand, abusive church is that you start recognizing high-demand groups wherever you go. It seems that no matter where you turn, people are always asking for your time, your money or your first-born son. Apparently, … Continue reading →

Posted in Baseball, Fundie Hierarchies, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist | 38 Comments

How do I forgive when there’s no apology?

Posted on August 2, 2010 by elizabeth

Sometimes, talking about it felt pointless. I knew there was never going to be resolution–at least, not a tidy, neat conclusion. The reality was that much of what we knew had been shot to hell and there was no use in … Continue reading →

Posted in Fundie Hierarchies, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist | 57 Comments

I Am Free

Posted on July 24, 2010 by elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth in 2000, I know that right now it's hard to believe you'll ever be happy. It's been a tough summer for you. You're 23 and your whole life should stretch out before you with hope. But instead, you … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Grief&Loss, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist, Religion, This Is My Story. | 28 Comments

The Bible: like Google maps with a side of Motrin

Posted on July 16, 2010 by elizabeth

A scary thing happened when I left the abusive fundamentalist church of my childhood: I couldn't open my Bible and read the words without hearing my grandfather's voice, his exact intonation and inflection. Certain passages were so fully saturated with … Continue reading →

Posted in Faith, Politics, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist, Religion, The Bible | 69 Comments

How the “I am a worm”/total depravity theology hurts children

Posted on June 6, 2010 by elizabeth

When you believe that you are a vile, filthy piece of scum and that you are unworthy of God's love, could this perhaps transfer to how you view your children? And to how you discipline them? In my fundamentalist upbringing, … Continue reading →

Posted in Michael & Debi Pearl, RecoveringEvangelicalsAnonymous, RecoveringFundamentalist, Religion | 66 Comments