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Popular Posts
- Why we left Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa
- Belts and spatulas: a story of spanking, fear, failure and redemption
- Elizabeth Smart & the life-threatening danger of shame-based purity culture
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- Good Christian girls don't talk about sex. We just obsess about it.
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Category Archives: RecoveringFundamentalist
When God is your abuser
I was being abused and I asked Jesus to help me. I was a little girl–the age of my own twin daughters–and I was away at Bible Camp. I asked Jesus to help me. I prayed over and over. I … Continue reading
Posted in CoDependent Issues, Cults, RecoveringFundamentalist
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The New Misogyny: “bro-culture” pastors, sexist Christian comedians and abuse apologetics disguised as female empowerment
When I was growing up, the Christian misogynist wore a suit and tie, poured on enough cologne to slay an elephant and toted a Bible the size of an encyclopedia. This pastor boomed Biblical pronouncements from the pulpit and quoted … Continue reading
Don’t engage the crazy
Here are some thoughts on the futility of “helping” people who are still heavily invested in their harmful belief systems or who believe they are on a mission from God Himself.
Precious and Free
I took the children to a park we haven’t been to in a long time. When they were little, we went almost every day. The park looks different now: old, weathered, worn-out. Two of the slides had been torn out, the … Continue reading
Belts and spatulas: a story of spanking, fear, failure and redemption
I had the pleasure of “meeting” Josh Barkey online awhile ago and was struck by his gentle spirit, vulnerable honesty and commitment to art. He has written a book called “Immortality Stories” and I wanted to honor the journey he … Continue reading
I was spanked as a child and I turned out ok. Didn’t I?
It’s late on a night during Holy Week. I’m alone and I’m trembling because I have seen into my heart of darkness and it’s brought everything back…. I was spanked and spanked and spanked and I turned out OK, didn’t … Continue reading
The price of religious shaming, the redemption of love {review of “The Whale” at South Coast Repertory}
I took a break from book writing this week to catch a play at South Coast Repertory. I walked into The Whale knowing nothing about it and walked out feeling completely known. And more than that: unconditionally accepted—simply for being human, … Continue reading
How to recognize unhealthy personal boundaries in yourself and others
As I’ve been reading (and re-reading) Take Back Your Life, I’ve found myself having moments of epiphany and moments of embarrassment. The moments of epiphany happen when I deconstruct a harmful system and suddenly understand how it works. The moments … Continue reading
Love is a…choice?
A few months after we were married, church leadership “strongly encouraged” us to attend a marriage workshop. Frankly, attendance wasn’t optional. To maintain our good standing in church, we were more or less required to attend these workshops. And participate … Continue reading
Elizabeth Smart & the life-threatening danger of shame-based purity culture
*trigger warning: rape, victim blaming* I read an interesting line in the New Yorker yesterday, describing an important characteristic about one of the kidnapped girls who was recently rescued in Cleveland: …she had to never forget who she was, and … Continue reading →