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Popular Posts
- Elizabeth Smart & the life-threatening danger of shame-based purity culture
- Who is Elizabeth Esther?
- Why we left Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa
- Belts and spatulas: a story of spanking, fear, failure and redemption
- I was spanked as a child and I turned out ok. Didn't I?
- A Handy Guide For Dealing With Manipulative People
- The Curvy Girl's Guide to Buying Pants
- Good Christian girls don't talk about sex. We just obsess about it.
- Virginity: New & Improved!
- Archives
Category Archives: Spiritual Abuse
Precious and Free
I took the children to a park we haven’t been to in a long time. When they were little, we went almost every day. The park looks different now: old, weathered, worn-out. Two of the slides had been torn out, the … Continue reading
Belts and spatulas: a story of spanking, fear, failure and redemption
I had the pleasure of “meeting” Josh Barkey online awhile ago and was struck by his gentle spirit, vulnerable honesty and commitment to art. He has written a book called “Immortality Stories” and I wanted to honor the journey he … Continue reading
I was spanked as a child and I turned out ok. Didn’t I?
It’s late on a night during Holy Week. I’m alone and I’m trembling because I have seen into my heart of darkness and it’s brought everything back…. I was spanked and spanked and spanked and I turned out OK, didn’t … Continue reading
The day I learned I was a hipster/progressive/”current feminist” advocating ‘commitment-free’ sex for all!
And here I thought I was just Catholic (but if I snap out of my “current” feminism anytime soon, I’ll be sure to let you know). In the meantime, allow me to give you a brief summary of the pushback … Continue reading
Posted in Love/Sex Advice, Sex & Faith, Spiritual Abuse
60 Comments
Love is a…choice?
A few months after we were married, church leadership “strongly encouraged” us to attend a marriage workshop. Frankly, attendance wasn’t optional. To maintain our good standing in church, we were more or less required to attend these workshops. And participate … Continue reading
Purity Culture Fallout: “I wanted to die because I had ruined ‘God’s plan for my life’”
This weekend I read through your stories about the harmful effects of purity culture. I found myself nodding, laughing and weeping. For many years I felt very alone in my struggle with sexuality and the purity culture. That has all … Continue reading
Posted in Love/Sex Advice, Sex & Faith, Spiritual Abuse
12 Comments
Virginity: New & Improved!
Yes, I was a virgin on my wedding day. Then again, I was only 20. Yes, remaining a virgin until my wedding day saved me from some romantic heartbreak. Then again, I’ve had other heartbreaks. Yes, chastity is special. Then … Continue reading
I Kissed My Humanity Goodbye: how the evangelical purity culture dehumanizes women
When I look at this picture of myself on my wedding day, I don’t see a happy bride. I see a frightened little girl who was under incredible pressure from her family’s ministry. Not only was I expected to be … Continue reading
Committing pornography with your life {how modesty rules hurt women AND men}
“When you dress and behave in a way that is designed primarily to arouse sexual desire in men, you are committing pornography with your life.” –Joshua Harris, Sex is Not the Problem (Lust Is) I was sitting on the couch … Continue reading
Posted in RecoveringFundamentalist, Spiritual Abuse
99 Comments
The price of religious shaming, the redemption of love {review of “The Whale” at South Coast Repertory}
I took a break from book writing this week to catch a play at South Coast Repertory. I walked into The Whale knowing nothing about it and walked out feeling completely known. And more than that: unconditionally accepted—simply for being human, … Continue reading →