Category Archives: The Adventures of Milton, Mini Schnauzer

We gave Milton away this past weekend. It was the right thing to do. Still, I'm brokenhearted. He was the perfect dog for our family–until I got pregnant with twins. I knew the twins would dramatically change my life; I … Continue reading →

Milton has been barking for a solid ten minutes. I yell at him from the window, but he doesn’t stop. I’m still wet from my shower and NOT IN THE MOOD when I come blazing out the door determined to … Continue reading →

In the quiet darkness of early morning, we hear the doggy-door flipping open and closed. It can only mean one thing. The Schnauzer is up to no good. The twins’ arrival meant Milton has been demoted yet again in the … Continue reading →

Why else would he be sleeping on his side with a pillow between his legs?

"Did you hear that, James?" Jude shrieks from the back-seat. "Milton speaks human!" Milton, quarantined to the cargo area, lets out a little yelp. "What did he say?" Matt asks. "He said ‘ow,’" Jude translates. "Ow?" I repeat, chuckling. "Yeah, … Continue reading →

Well dressed, purebred, respectable mini-schnauzer seeks gentle female canine for long walks on the beach, peeing on fire hydrants and possible long-term commitment to playdates. If interested, please leave a description of yourself in the comment box. –Best regards, Milton, … Continue reading →

Here’s Professor Milton enjoying the good life. The best chair in the house, Jude’s favorite blankie wrapped cozily around him, and Jude’s favorite stuffed animals to keep him company. What more could he ask for? Beggin’ Treats on a silver … Continue reading →

When not teaching Paradise Lost to apathetic (and generally unappreciative) undergrads, Prof. Milton enjoys a brisk walk, perhaps a scamper up a tree from which to survey the world. Here we see him poised in regal splendor atop a gnarled … Continue reading →

After an arduous day teaching Paradise Lost to apathetic undergrads, Prof. Milton rests his hoary head upon the exalted text. How many years, he wonders bleakly, does it take for one hard-working Schnauzer to achieve tenure?