So, my blog went down sometime Friday afternoon (thank God it wasn't a Monday, am I right?). But THAT didn't prevent me from having a HUGE freak-out.
In order to redeem my stupidity, I'm dissecting the 7 stages of blog grief for you. Just so you'll know what to expect when (NOT IF) your blog goes down.
1. Shock/Denial: when @adam_thedad tweeted me that he couldn't see my site. I was all taken aback. Hence, my brilliant response:
2. Calm, cool acceptance: it's time to notify everyone involved that yes, a tragic accident has occurred. Be professional. Use correct grammar.
3. Mood swings: even though you know it's not your fault and that the problem will probably get fixed, you start getting all irrational and worrying incessantly that nothing will ever be the same again.
4. Anger/Questioning Everything: if you find out that the problem is a result of a massive "malicious attack" on your host's company site, just launch over the cliff into full-blown meltdown. Triple-tweet your distress (expect people to offer you cheese with your whine because OBVIOUSLY, lame "first-world" problems.).
5. Start crying literal tears about your virtual problem: your non-blog-reading husband is sure to COMPLETELY understand.
6. Realize that you've just shot your "Christian witness" to, um, Hades. Clearly, you think too highly of yourself and your blog's importance. Also? You said damn in one of your tweets. Time to go to Confession. How do I explain a "blog" to a priest?
7. When your blog comes back online, act like a war just ended and you SURVIVED! Go around kissing everyone (virtually). Commit acts of random capitalization. Pretend you're Sally Field winning an Oscar.
***Addendum, Disclaimers, ETC.***
The weirdest thing about all of this? It wasn't a fundie conspiracy to shut down my blog!
Also, I found out that some of you really DO love me. THANK YOU!
Lastly, my husband thinks I'm cute when I'm stressed out.
But I'm really not interested in looking cute again. ANYTIME SOON.