Doubting Santa

"But what about the sleigh bells? I heard them outside my window," Jude asked, fiddling with his slinky.

"What about them?" I replied.

"Well...was it Daddy ringing the bells?" 

"Hmm. What do you think?"

"Yes?"

"You're probably right," I said.

"And what about the letter from Santa last year? It said I had been a very good boy! Did you print that on the computer?"

I nodded.

Jude picked up a few Legos and fitted them together, quietly. He was lost in thought for a few moments. I rocked one of the twins, waiting.

"Is it just a big costume?" he asked, looking up at me.

Again, I nodded.

"But why does everybody say it? And why do all the songs say it?"

"It's just a fun, make-believe part of Christmas," I answered. "Don't you think Santa is fun?"

"Yes," he answered. "But who eats the cookies we leave out for Santa?"

"Guess."

"Daddy?"

I nodded, smiling. But Jude wasn't smiling back. To be honest, he looked a little downcast.

"Are you sad?" I asked.

"Just disappointed," he answered.

"Why?"

"Well, how am I going to get any presents this year if Santa doesn't bring them?"

Ah, yes. It's not really about Santa so much as it is presents.

"Honey, who do you think buys the presents, wraps the presents and puts them under the tree?" I asked, gently.

Jude gazed up at me, shrugged.

I smiled at him and winked. Revelation dawned on his face.

"You and Daddy?!"

"Yes!"

"Oh! So we're still getting presents!"

"Of course!"

"OH! Is THAT why you need us to write the letter to Santa? So YOU can see what we want?"

"Yep!"

"OK," he said. "I'm not disappointed anymore."

"Good."

There was a pause and then, sensing the opportunity, he looked up and asked: "So, um...can you get me that robot?"

Comments

[Michelle Hart]

wow, this could have been a verbatim conversation I had with my children in their younger years....much to some of my family and friend's dismay, I chose not to continue the make-believe when they started questioning. I answered them honestly. And thank God, they responded in much the same way as your dear little one. Great post!

[Rebecca]

I look forward to this conversation. Not that we have even mentioned Santa to our almost 2 year old. I am pretty anti-Santa it just feels like a whole lot of lies to tell a child. I even had a conversation with my husband, pre-husband days about how Santa and Satan could be the same person (though that was mostly in jest). But I know that she will hear about Santa at school or at church or from friends.

Then again, I know she doesn't even care about new toys so we are being cheap and re-wrapping up some of her toys we have had put away for the last few months.

[DeborahL]

What a sweet and gentle conversation. And such a beautiful picture. He looks like he might have a touch of mischief in him! :)

[GrammaMack]

I was devastated when I found out that my parents had lied to me. And I didn't want to do Santa with our kids, but I was outvoted. ;-) We have three sons; the oldest and the youngest weren't upset at all when they found out the truth, but the middle one was just like me--heartbroken that Mom and Dad had lied. He isn't doing Santa with his son!

[Corinne]

That reminds me so much of the conversation I had with my own mother years ago! I was heartbroken, but soon got over it when I realized I could help decorate the tree for the first time (Santa decorated our tree growing up...) and could help keep the magic going for my brother.
Thank you for sharing this conversation!

[Sara]

I don't know why...but this made me cry!
What a sweet story.
I am waiting for this conversation...and I thought it was coming when Jack told me today.."Mom. I saw something in Dad's bag the other day. It was the Bionicle on my Christmas List. But Dad said it was something for him, but, really, I think he was distracting me. I think it's my Christmas present"...

[Katie]

Such a sweet retelling. :)

[jenn grant]

i love this conversation you had with jude! it reminds me of some of the ones i have had with you know who! :)

i have been thinking about this post since yesterday and i really love how you ask him if he thinks santa is fun and the whole make believe thing. and he replies yes!

i really like that perspective because imagination and dreaming and all of that are such an important role in a child's life.

like we all know, we dont want to lie to them about stuff and so we dont but on the other hand why cant they dream and pretend?! why cant santa just be that and nothing else?

why does it have to be turned into such a big issue. do children really put that much thought into it or is it just us as adults putting the ba hum bug on our kids?!

i just died laughing recently when after halloween and trick or treating and such, we are ready for bed and Big J thanks God for letting him go trick or treating and halloween!!!!

for me that is a clue into the mind of a child.

[Deb]

I love this! When Alissa was very little, I thought that believing in Santa would somehow warp her understanding of God when she got older. So, from the very beginning, probably before she was old enough to even understand, I told her that Santa was make-believe and all of the presents came from Mom and Dad. Now I sort of regret that; it somehow takes some of the fun out of Christmas. And it has created some problems for my daughter, who "knows" and her friends, who don't. I had to teach her to allow other people to believe. :)

It has made her a thinker though - she lost her first tooth the other day and told me after finding money under her pillow that she thought the tooth fairy is just like Santa.

With the boys my plan is to let them believe as long as they want, but be honest when they ask questions, just like you did. I told Rowan the other day he should ask Santa for a toy that he was wanting and he replied, "Santa might bite!" Ha! I've got one kid that doesn't believe in Santa and another one that is afraid of him!

[Joshua]

I personally find the whole Santa myth to be destructive both in weakening a child's trust in his or her parents as well as making the birth of Jesus about materialism.

Just like any tradition, I think we should examine the Santa experience for the positive and negative aspects. At the end of the day, the truth outweighs this one.