As long as we're talking practical gifts--I'd like a year's supply of deodorant. I'm serious.
How awesome would it be to open my medicine cabinet and be all: YES! The Senate has unanimously voted to give my armpits universal coverage. For an entire year. Holla!
I mean, who wants a kiss that begins with Kay's when instead you can get a brand-new water heater? Now, that's my kinda romantic.
Except, sometimes even practical gifts go awry. My husband kept talking about how great it would be to have a fogless shaving mirror. He was tired of "shaving blind" in the shower. So, two years ago I got him one.
He still hasn't opened the box.
"Real men shave without mirrors," he explained.
Dude. Maybe real men can use tweezers to yank out their nose hairs, too.
I mean, what's the point of buying a practical gift if it's not gonna get practical use?
Even those dopey Christmas sweaters are better than unused practical gifts. At least you can get a good laugh over that one Christmas when Great Aunt Marge bought everyone matching reindeer sweaters that sang. In harmony.
Not so with the unused nose-hair trimmer. Just seeing its unopened box will make me feel all depressed. Like an underachieving gift-buyer. Like I need to apologize. Do penance.
I dunno. Gift-buying is fraught with emotional landmines. Should I stick with the gift cards this year?
That way if he doesn't use it, I can use it.
'Cuz I still want my year's supply of deodorant.
