I feel like I'm crash landing into Christmas, skidding in sideways and barely alive. The presents are wrapped, the ham has been ordered, the house is clean. But I've lost my mind somewhere between unmet expectations and the child I forgot to pick up from school.
She waited for an hour and twenty minutes. She managed not to cry.
I felt like crap. Like the worst mother to walk this earth as I came careening into the parking lot, spilling myself out of the mini-van and into the school office, apologies falling out of my mouth.
I don't know how I forgot that it was early dismissal. But I did.
And what's worse, it's not the first time.
It probably won't be the last. I never imagined I'd be one of those mothers who forgets her child at school. But here I am.
I don't know if it's the stress of everything but I also nearly passed out this week at the sight of my daughter's blood. It was insanely embarrassing. I've handled cuts, bruises, screams, vomit, pee, poop and birthed five children. Blood does not scare me.
On Wednesday, blood scared me. I got so faint my ears went deaf, my knees gave out and I stumbled heaving and gasping for air in the brisk afternoon wind.
I also forgot to send candy to the school so my son could decorate his Christmas party cookie. I even sent an email saying I would send it. And then I forgot.
And when my husband showed up for the school Christmas concert, I wasn't there.
He text'd me: Where r u?
I couldn't understand why in the WORLD he was sending me that text. I was at home. Where else would I be?
So, I text'd back: I'm in Hollywood selling my first screenplay.
When Matt got home he smiled and gave me a kiss that melted the universe. Then he told me everything was alright and that I should go take a shower.
The next morning he took us all to the beach. Somehow, the beach makes everything right again.
Except Jude was thirsty. And I'd forgotten to pack water.
"Here, have this," said a pregnant mommy sitting nearby. She handed us a bottle of water.
And I almost cried right there because here I am, a total mess and even strangers are offering me grace.
Life is an amazing thing.
