"thy mercy, O Lord, held me up." Psalm 94:18
This morning I awoke and intentionally began singing. I blasted through a handful of contemporary worship songs, "Blessed Be Your Name" & "Everything that has breath praise the Lord" and then moved on to some older, richer hymns that I learned as a child. The one that is sticking with me right now is: "Love lifted me."
There is spiritual nourishment in singing praise songs. And there is physical nourishment in a good night's sleep + a grande vanilla Latte. I highly recommend both.
Matt graciously gave me the night off and I slept like a log. There is nothing like sleep deprivation to fell the strongest among us. The stress of selling our home, the twins' bad reaction to their six month shots, a whopping $5,000 hospital bill (just for the twins' RSV shots--not even their NICU bills), my milk supply plummeting like a rock and you have one very tired, exhausted, overwhelmed momma.
I hesitated in posting about my struggle this week. It takes some courage to admit that hey, my life isn't perfect. Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I'm a recovering perfectionist. But then someone emailed me this week and said, "We all walk this earth with the broken heart." Exactly. Another friend emailed me saying, (paraphrase) "Sleep deprivation doesn't respect how many plates we're juggling. Whether it's 3 or 12, we all drop plates and feel terrible about it." Others of you emailed me verses, kind words, encouraging thoughts. That's when I realized: It's OK to be honest about struggling with this unwieldy beast called motherhood because I'm not alone. Most of you are women and mothers and you GET IT.
There is good news, too. There is light at the end of this tunnel. We found a buyer for our home! YAY! Keeping my house clean & tidied for anyone to drop in at any time (literally! this is a WHOLE other post) just about killed me. It's over now. We're through the worst of it.
So, it's on to the next task: I have to move in 30 days! Help me, Rhonda. Help, help me Rhonda.