Top 10 answers to ALLLLLLL your burning questions!!!

Well, my segment on Fox News went awesome but it's taking forever for the video clip to go up, soooooo, I'm moving on to a new topic (because I get bored waiting around and plus also? I need to lay off the heavy-duty topics for at least like 2 hours.). Who wants some light-hearted fluff-a-potamus?? I DO! I DO! [FOREWARNING/SIDEBAR: I've been up since 2am. If this sounds sloppy it's because I've been up since 2am. Hey, am I repeating myself?  p.s. why does everything awesome on live, national TV have to happen on East Coast time? *shakes head to clear thoughts* #NeedMoreCoffee]

Yeah, that was a hash-tag IN a blog post. Watch out, peeps. Stuff about to get all crazy up in he-ah.

So, here are a few answers to reader questions in no particular order or coherency (is coherency a word?):

  1. Mint Milanos kick Oreos boo-tay. Just for the record.
  2. No, I did not wear false eyelashes on TV this morning. I did, however, wear my gummy smile! So, there's that!!
  3. Yes, I tried reading "Radical" again. And I stopped again. It's not you, it's me. It's not David Platt, it's that Imma Bratt. No, wait. It's just that--ok, dearest ones? dear, earnest reader who really, really wants me to like this book?--it's OK if we don't like the same books. We can all still live radically authentic lives without needing to dog-ear the same pages in the same books, yes? YES! And all the people said...AMEN!
  4. I'm a hypocrite. In fact, you could call me a hypercrite since I'm pretty much a hypocrite in hyper-drive. Get it? Get it?HYPERCRITE?
  5. (Wow, I need to lay off the 2am wake up time)
  6. I don't know what freaks me out more: knowing someone found my site by googling "grown women breastfeeding porn" or that I'm the #8 Google result for that search. #HelpMeRhonda
  7. Why does my scalp itch? Seriously. It itches non-stop. (And no, I don't have lice).
  8. In other scalp-related betrayals: I'm getting gray hair. I would let them grow out except they are Psychotic and misbehaved. They are scraggly, kinked and insist on sticking straight out of my head. #CrownofHoary
  9. I'm officially considering quitting the Dodgers and becoming an Angels fan instead. What happened to ye, mine Dodgers? Ye hath become a scourge and a byword! Thou hast disappointed-eth. Naught availeth!
  10. What? You don't launch into Olde English when you're tired?
  11. Why do I want to listen to Nicki Minaj? This must be stopped! Shut the deuce up!
  12. I just answered 11 questions and not 10.
  13. Because I'm good at math like that.
  14. #SomebodyStopMe
  15. #StoppingNow
  16. (#SendCoffee)
  17. (#OrANap)