I used to freak out with anxiety about whether or not I was following God's will for my life. And even more importantly, was I living in the CENTER of God's will? I used to drive myself batty wondering if I was somehow missing out on God's Best? Was I settling for second best? Scratch that. Was I settling at all???? I was constantly on the lookout for Distractions that might lure me away from God's Awesome, Eternal Plan for my life. The snares were everywhere: pretty much anything that made me feel good was suspect. God's Will was supposed to be painful, right? I mean, how else would I be made holy?
What I've come to think now is that God can use any situation to accomplish His will. God's will is not incumbent upon me nor upon my ability to control things. I remember agonizing over which major to choose in college. English Literature or Theater? Likewise, I agonized over whether or not to send my children to preschool. Homeschool or private school? Breastmilk or formula?
But what if God's will is not in the specific choice we make but in our cheerful non-resistance to the way things are? How about instead of forcefully manipulating our environment to achieve a particular outcome, we learn to live in joyful, free-flowing surrender to what is happening right now.
Last year I was reading The Sacred Art of Recovery and came across this revelatory (for me) definition of God's will. God's will is: whatever is happening right now.
At first I resisted this definition. It goes against everything my hardworking Protestant ethic tells me. But I have to admit that this different perspective also opens up some space inside me.
It loosens my tightly clenched fist. It helps me hold things loosely. You mean, I don't have to worry about living in the center of God's will? I can just....live? And God can work around whatever is happening right now in my life to accomplish His will? Ah, yes!
I've decided to live a theology that errs on the side of God's bigness. In other words, when you're trying to smash your life into some preconceived notion about God's Will For You, you're actually exposing your small view of God.
God is big. God is so big that He doesn't need you to worry about How It Will All Work Out. That's His job. He's got you, babe. He's got this whole thing. Actually, He's got the whole world in His hands! (Remember the song? Sing it!)
All you need to do is live in cheerful non-resistance to whatever is happening right now. You need to flow. You need to chill. You need to smile. Don't let anything rob you of this contented, happy surrender to what is right now. He's got it covered.