So, this is embarrassing. Remember I told you that maybe I was an introvert?
Well, now I feel like my old self again. Which is to say, a very definitive extrovert. I've had multiple people tell me I'm back to being Elizabeth Esther again. The real EE has please stood up. Wow, grammar check!
Still, I'm confused. Am I really extroverted?
The only clue I have right is that when I wrote my introvert post this past July, I was in the throes of major sadness because my marriage was hurting PLUS I was trying to write my book PLUS I was off my ADD meds.
I'm thinking everyone feels like an introvert when all they want to do is hide under the covers all day.
I mean, my sister came out here to visit me and I was so depressed about my marriage that I was wandering around in a fog, totally detached but trying to pretend like I was keeping it all together.
Now, here's a nugget of troof: you can fool yourself but you can't fool your sister.
About three days into her visit she sat me down and was like: "WHAT is wrong?? WHAT is going on, here?"
And I was all: "Nothing. I'm writing a book."
And she laughed. "Yeah, I know. But something else is wrong. WTF is going on HERE?!"
And I was all: "Nothing. I'm internally processing."
And she was all: "Shut up, you've never internally processed a day in your life. Now, tell me the truth."
So, I told her. I processed verbally. I vomited out all my words and she listened. When I was done I felt like a huge weight was off my shoulders.
"OK, so what's your plan?" she asked.
"Plan? Plaaaaaann? Palin?"
"Your plan. You need a plan. What are you going TO DO about this?"
"Dunno. Wait until it gets better?"
"How has that worked for you in the last 15 years?"
"Oh. Heh. I guess I need...a plan?"
Then my sister set about saving my life by putting together a 3-point plan complete with if-thens and what-fors and thou-shalts.
As the scatterbrained ENFP that I am, I was beyond thankful. I can't create structures or plans or budgets. But if someone is kind enough to give me a track to run on...well, let's just say I'm choo-chooing along, full speed ahead!
Last week my sister called me and she was like: "Wow, you sound so much better."
"I feel so much better."
Here's proof: I'm all about the social stuff again. I've gone to parties on two consecutive weekends. I danced at a wedding. I'm traveling to Pennsylvania this week to speak at a conference. And I don't feel exhausted from any of my past social engagements and I don't feel worried about my future ones.
I'm living my true, extroverted self again and I feel so much better.
So maybe I'm only an introvert when I'm depressed?