Kicking up from the deep dive

I've turned a corner in the book. I'm at 47,124 words. I've been down in this deep, dark place for almost three months. But now I'm kicking back up to the light. I can see it. But I still have to swim. My lungs are burning. I want to be done, done, done. I want to stop reliving. I'm fighting the urge to take a shortcut, to push myself, to shove it through. Art refuses shoving. It refuses forcing. I know this. But I'm burned out and exhausted. I want to come back to my life. I want to surface! But I also want it to be beautiful and true. I want to make it beautiful for you. I want to honor you. I'm slowing myself down. I'm telling myself there is no rush, no need for panic. I'm telling myself to be human. I can see the last three scenes I will write. I can see the light. I'm kicking up from the deep. I'm reaching for the light. I'm almost there.....