I learn nothing from my successes except how disappointing they are and how they rarely live up to my expectations. I learn far more from my mistakes because they give me the opportunity to learn something about myself and about reality. Thing is, if I'm not learning anything, I'm not failing enough. Or failing big enough. This is why, in 2014, I resolve to Fail More, Fail Boldly and Fail Better.
Reality doesn't work the way I want it to work. My plans--mwah-ha-ha--MY PLANS--are futile attempts at pretending I have control over reality. I am Master of my Destiny! I haz the controoollllll! Yeah, no. I have no control. This is what failing more teaches me. Failing more gives me an opportunity to come face-to-face with my profound frailty, my inability to bend reality to my liking. As William Blake once wrote, "A fool who persists in his folly becomes wise." I intend on failing so hard and so often this year that my only option is total dependence on grace.
Remember when i was gonna blog every day? HA HA HA. Remember my 31 Days of the Little Way that was more like A Few Days Before I Got Bored and Moved On? And then there were the failed drafts of my book. Honestly, I lost track of how many Final Drafts I turned in. Probably something like eight. Or ten. But all these failures taught me how to better manage my limitations. I have limitations and as much as I'd like to pretend I can Do All The Things, I really can't. Failing boldly teaches me to slow down. It's OK to take my time, apparently.
Failing better simply means failing differently. I don't have to over-commit to blogging because I already failed at that last year. This whole Philosophy of Failing More means learning to fail in a different direction. PROGRESS! At least I'm failing in new ways and not repeating the insanity of failing in all the old ways.
I'm kinda stoked about my book release ("Girl at The End of the World" releases March 18, 2014!) because I can't wait to see how hugely it fails to sell. I wrote a real good book (if I do say so myself) and I'm very proud of it (it only took me about 80 billion failures to get it written). But even industry insiders don't know how well my book will sell. Do you know why this doesn't bother me? Because even if my book doesn't sell, I did my absolute best and THAT counts as an Awesome Fail Better.
I call that progress. A life fail lived.