I'm trying something a little different on the blog today. I've spent a lot of time deconstructing the harmful belief systems of my fundamentalist childhood. But what have I done to rebuild? Well, I haven't shared much of that with you. The truth is that I often "preach to myself," meaning, I write little encouraging notes. To myself. I remind myself what is true and good in my life TODAY. I'd like to share some of those with you. Maybe it will encourage you, too? xo, EE.
One of the consistent corrections my ballerina receives is that she needs to relax. Loosen up. Stop overthinking. Especially when she gets on stage, I can see the strain in her neck muscles and in her quivering fingertips. She is trying so hard to hit those turns...but the thing is, she's already practiced that dance thousands of times.
She doesn't need to try anymore. She needs to relax and trust the dance she already knows. She needs to simply dance by heart.
Work is important. Making plans is prudent. But many of us work too hard. Many of us hang our entire happiness on everything working out according to our plan. If something isn't "working," we try harder and harder to make it work. What's really needed is letting go of anxious thinking and learning to play life by heart.
Easier said than done, I know. I have a hard time letting go, too. I'm convinced that if I just work harder and longer--then the desired results will happen. If I just deny myself a little more, if I just try a little harder...
Here's the thing, though: the outcome is entirely out of my control. I can do my part. I can work. I can try. But the way things work out is not up to me.
I can make plans. I can be prudent. I can do All The Right Things. But even then, things might not work out according to plan. What I really need is to be OK on the inside--no matter what happens on the outside.
I need the inner calmness that comes in knowing I did my part. I was a good steward with what I was given. I learned my lessons. I can let God handle the outcome.
I've learned my lessons and practiced the piece a thousand times. Now, it's time to play by heart.
Today's Affirmation: Everything is happening exactly how it should happen. I can rest. I can play my part by heart. I can let God handle the outcome.