Living In Spiritual Limbo.

I don't have a physical place to call home this week. And I'm in spiritual limbo, too. It's a strange confluence of events--a sort of physical and spiritual homelessness.

Five years ago we left a legalistic, fundamentalist church. We've been wandering ever since; trying to sift the wheat from the chaff. What I've found is that I can appreciate all flavors of Christianity from the grand traditions of Catholicism to the contemporary, free-flowing non-denominational church.

We're attending a Presbyterian church currently. There are all kinds of bylaws and church protocol which totally confuse me; but that's mostly due to my ignorance. What I like most about this church is it's social conscience. They practice a Christianity that is outwardly focused. They don't just talk about feeding the poor; they actually do it. They outreach directly to the g*y community, teens in crisis, and build homes with Habitat for Humanity. Their unashamed witness is rooted in humility of spirit.

This is stands in stark contrast to my experience in legalistic churches where a hyper focus on non-essentials hindered the Gospel. This was a Christianity that was inwardly focused. The sub-culture that developed in those churches had a distinct lifestyle complete with insider language, mores and unwritten rules. My main problem with these insular groups was their inability to touch the lost with Christ's love. They were, in effect, hermetically sealed against the corrupting influences of The Big Bad World.

I do pick on my evangelical upbringing, but I'm also profoundly grateful for it. It gave me a desire to read and know Scripture, to speak freely about my faith and to grow in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

And I realize I shouldn't pick a church based on personal preference or self-generated criterion. I have a liturgical bent, an appreciation for sacred music, enjoy frequent celebration of Communion and like to follow the traditional church calendar. But again, these are personal likes and dislikes and I want to be careful of giving elevated status to what are, again, non-essentials.

I am committed to fellowshipping with other Christians and to raising my children in the faith. Whether or not I find The Perfect Church (does such a place even exist?) is irrelevant. It's taken me awhile to be OK with not having all the answers, to taking my time on this spiritual journey.

The main thing is Jesus. Living in the light of Him is what it's all about.

And as long as He's holding me, I'm not in limbo.