In Which We Learn That Christmas Lights Are Not Worth A Broken Neck.

The day after Thanksgiving, our neighbors had their strapping, young lads clamber atop their roof and hang a daunting row of sparkling lights. They wrapped strands of lights up the entry columns, wound them through the bushes and then dangled two, ginormous snow flakes from the roof.

Beat this, the lights blinked at us. We double-dog-dare-you, the dangling snow flakes shouted.

We find it hard to resist a dare. Competition of any kind, really. Matt & I both like to be right and to win first place. Actually, this is what keeps our marriage interesting. But I digress.

There was just no way we were gonna let our neighbor's lights hang unchallenged.

So today, Matt attempted to clamber atop our own second-story roof. Things got scary real fast. For one, he's no longer a strapping, young lad. For two, no less than 6 people depend on him for their survival. 

My whole life felt like it was hanging off the edge of our rain gutters. I wanted to shout directions but figured that would be like blowing a horn in an operating doctor's ear. So I went inside.

And programmed 9-1-1 into the memory dial. Not really. But almost.

He got down a few minutes later.

"Not worth a broken neck," he muttered.

"What happened up there?" I asked.

"I got two strings of lights up. And then the third string of lights wouldn't light up."

"Bummer."

"And....it was scary. I have 5 kids. They need me."

I burst into the kind of laughter you laugh after coming *theeeeees close* to death. But somehow you survive! Let's celebrate and who WANTS CAKE???

I threw my arms around him and kissed and told him to never, never, NEVER do that to me again. Because I need you and you're the best man EVER and you have no idea how much I love you. Who cares about dumb ol' Christmas lights, anyway? Not me.

A simple wreath, a hand-made garland, a couple entry trees will be just fine. No broken necks, just burnt fingers. Those blasted hot glue guns will getcha every time! :)