It has been a long, hard year. I birthed twins, worried over them in the NICU, brought them home, breastfed them for six months, tended my older three children, sold a home, bought a home and moved.
There were so many mornings when I just didn't want to get out of bed. I kept wanting to fast forward the day, the weeks, the months, the year. But I couldn't. I had to live each day.
I had a choice. I could quit. Or I could get up and live. I had to find Jesus each day. And then hang onto Him.
I did this through prayer. I spent more time on my knees this year than I have in my entire life. I also prayed while standing, washing dishes, changing diapers, making meals, doing carpool duty, or grocery shopping.
My mind was so overwhelmed with the daily chores of life, that I found great solace in being able to simply repeat written prayers. It was too much work to think up new prayers every time I wanted to pray. This is how I found the prayers of the Catholic Church. These beautiful prayers were a spiritual refuge I could enter anytime.
In the crush of life as a mother of 5--I found the pure, sweet grace of Jesus Christ. He saw this mother's tears, her worries, her many fears. And He gave me strength.
Yesterday, as the rain clouds moved in, I found a quiet spot on the floor near a window. I opened my Bible to my favorite Psalm---Psalm 138. I knelt on the hard floor and began praying: Our Father, who art in heaven...
A ray of sunshine came through the window, falling across my Bible, across this verse: "On the day I called, Thou didst answer me. Thou didst make me bold with strength in my soul."
I don't feel very bold. I certainly don't feel very strong. In fact, I have never felt weaker! There are so many days when I feel like I'm failing as a wife and mother.
But just then a little boy came wandering in. He had just awakened from his nap. He cuddled down next to me. We sat there in prayerful silence.
"Mommy?" he finally said.
"Did you know that I can see Jesus in heaven sometimes?"
I hugged him closer, "You mean, when you look up at the sky?"
"Yeah. And I pray. I say thank You, God. I say, I love You, Jesus."
On the day I called, Thou didst answer...
"He's here with us, now, Jude."
"I know, Mommy."
"Let's pray together."
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name...
This year, I am thankful for prayer.
And for a God who answers.
[What are YOU thankful for? I would love it if this comment box got filled up with people all over the world, sharing their gratitude. Is that possible? Let's try it! Leave your name, state, country and what you're thankful for! And lurkers, come on, now. Don't be shy. I wanna hear from EVERYONE! :) And lastly, thank YOU, dear bloggy readers. I am honored and humbled that you spend time here. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!]