Dear Advice Fair-EE, I'm in my late 20's and about 16 months into my first serious relationship. I'm always comparing my relationship to what I hear my girlfriends say. One thing that bothers me is that I'm not fitting the standard diagnosis of being 'in love'- I'm not walking around in a love-induced stupor, I don't gush about him all the time, I don't talk in a really high voice when he calls, I don't put up status updates bragging about him. This makes me worried--what if I'm not in love? On one hand, I think I secretly judge the gushy wives/gf's as betraying their woman-power somehow, on the other hand I wish I could be more carefree and expressive about my love and let go of my pride. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally attracted to him and I think he's man God has given to me but if I'm not acting 'in-love' maybe it's a red flag. Is there something wrong with me? Sincerely, Not-So-Gushy Girlfriend
There is nothing wrong with you! Everyone experiences love in their own, unique way. Just because you are less outspoken about your feelings doesn't mean you feel them any less intensely. Perhaps you express your love in non-verbal ways. And that is perfectly fine.
Our culture places a high value on grand gestures and public displays of affection. It's almost like your relationship isn't real until you've changed your Facebook relationship status to "in a relationship." But this is a very limiting view and entirely unfair to private personality types who aren't comfortable with everyone having detailed knowledge of their loves lives.
Be free to be you and trust the love you have without comparing it to others. In the end, true love is sacred and intimate--it is not meant for public consumption.
You are very wise to keep it private and sacred. Much love, The Advice Fair-EE
Do YOU have any advice for "Not-So-Gushy"? Please share! And if YOU need the Advice Fair-EE's pixie dust sprinkled over your heart, email me here.